Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
I hope everything works out well for you 
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Rockon@
Asslamu Alaikum!
**I don,t know where to start because you have a lot of issues from your husband,s side But this is true I am feeling so down to read your story because as for as my thought this is a big lose when two person go to separate. **
**What is the marriage according to Islam? **
Quran gives its philosophy on Islamic Marriage as:
“And among His Signs is this that He created for you spouses of your own kind, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy for one another: verily in that are Signs for those who reflect.” (Quran 30:21)
What Is Love?
Quran uses the word ‘Muaddah’ which generally stands for attraction and love. However, ‘Wad’ means a nail which joins two things to mutually strengthen each other.
In town talks men and women in wedlock are considered two wheels of a vehicle. The word ‘Muaddah’ may be equated to a vehicle tool which joins the both vehicles to strengthen to each other. “Love at its fullest is an indissoluble combination of the two elements, delight and well-wishing...Delight without well-wishing may be cruel; well wishing without delight easily tends to become cold and a little superior.
What is Mutual Mercy?
Quran uses the word ‘Rahmah’ which is mentioned as ‘mercy’ in most of the English translations of Quran. However, ‘mercy’ badly fails to communicate what Quranic word ‘Rahmah’ delivers.The word ‘Rahmah’ is derived from the toot ‘Rhm’ and stands for an act which is done to meet external or internal deficiency of the spouse whenever it is required to be done.
**The use of word ‘Rahmah’ at other places in Quran further illustrates the real meaning. At one place God says that it is His duty to provide every thing that is required. These verses prove that the word ‘Rahmah’ should not be taken in the meanings of mercy. **
The word can only be explained in the light of Quranic philosophy.In an Islamic marriage you are expected to provide to your spouse whatever he/she requires in time to develop his/her all hidden potentials to build a comprehensive tranquility. When children a born, they also start enjoying the ‘Rahmah’ and you develop the family as a useful unit of the society. When ‘Rahmah’ is missing a marriage can’t be termed as an Islamic marriage..
Now come to major point of your issue that your husband can,t be CHANGE AS YOU WANT, AS YOU THOUGHT, AS YOU WISH, AS YOU BLA BLA BLA….
Before I explained ,I would like to share a movie dialogue which is my fav because I believe in that so strongly… ( Koi Piyar kare tu Tum se kare tum jaise ho waise kare agar koi tumko badal ke piyar karey tu piyar nahin saoda karey aur piyar mein saoda nahin Hota)
You Think your husband need to change as you want!
No man in this universe is perfect. Every person differs from others, both physically and mentally. No two people think exactly alike. The only constant factor in the lives of humans is change. Whatever seemed to be perfect just a little while ago is not so now. Moreover, it cannot be, as things need to change to provide solutions to emerging problems.
Change offers excitement to your life. Changing situations and environments do not allow perfection to thrive.
Just accept that no one is perfect. Everybody begins from some point and makes errors at some point. You should start with small, sure steps. You can keep improving on these initial steps and progress slowly.It is better to be happy that you tried and put in some effort, instead of not doing or trying anything at all.
Forget your irresponsible attitudes and affirm your abilities to exert a more conscious effort on your willpower. You undergo a change in your philosophical beliefs and change your method of thinking. You are now ready to let go of earlier beliefs and experience the influence of positive powers on yourself. You develop higher levels of endurance and restructure your abilities to suit the levels you desire.
I really don’t know how to make you understand and realize reality of life.I want to say you Just give some other chance to live together with your husband.
Olny last thing I want to say you. Always think positive and Namaz Ada kiya karoo aur Wo sab mangoo Apne Allah se jo Tumko chahiye..
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
^AC, apparently you missed the part where her husband tried to strangle her and threatened to beat her- no man deserves a second chance after that
Rockon- you've made the right choice to leave your husband- don't let senseless people try to sway you
i hope everything works out in your favor and wish the best for you hugs
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
WTH at majority of the post but this is my personal fav. So far her husband is threatened to beat her with a belt and TRIED to strangle her. She should definitely give him another chance to finish the job. 
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Forget your irresponsible attitudes and affirm your abilities to exert a more conscious effort on your willpower. You undergo a change in your philosophical beliefs and change your method of thinking. You are now ready to let go of earlier beliefs and experience the influence of positive powers on yourself. You develop higher levels of endurance and restructure your abilities to suit the levels you desire.
I really don’t know how to make you understand and realize reality of life.I want to say you Just give some other chance to live together with your husband.
Olny last thing I want to say you. Always think positive and Namaz Ada kiya karoo aur Wo sab mangoo Apne Allah se jo Tumko chahiye..
Just a question, did you read the entire first post?
because if not, and you read through the entirety before writing your essay, then its' very very very sad that you think she's unrealistic about life and has an irresponsible attitude.
Honestly, ...all of you encouraging her to give him one more shot are the ones who are extremely unrealistic about life. I really wonder what will happen wen your precious bubbles burst?
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
for anyone advising her to stay and give him another chance in the light of Islam (some quoted from Quran and hadith too) please explain where does Islam allow and encourages "munafiqat" ? by definition it means hypocrisy in simple words. she doesn't feel a thing for her husband for whatever reasons, so does it make sense islamically to spend her time with someone she doesn't accept mentally?
plus like she told he strangled her and beat her up twice (leaving aside all the verbal threats and hurting words which some of you don't seem to consider serious sadly) so does the hadith about "momin ek he suraakh se baar baar nai dasaa jata" has any significance here?
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
HERE ! Most of girls want her to be separate :ASA::ASA:
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Before I explained ,I would like to share a movie dialogue which is my fav because I believe in that so strongly… ( Koi Piyar kare tu Tum se kare tum jaise ho waise kare agar koi tumko badal ke piyar karey tu piyar nahin saoda karey aur piyar mein saoda nahin Hota)
God, humaray naujawano ko aqal dein. Please! Ameen.
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Azaan Cheema. Before you wrote that long essay of yours, quoting dialogues from “Mohabbatein”, did you even READ HER FREKKEN POST???
Her husband tried to KILL her. And you’re telling her to stay with him. 
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Are these the same posters who moan about girls going for a divorce ‘too easily’ 
HOW IS BEING STRANGLED OR THREATENED WITH VIOLENCE SOMETHING ‘MINOR’??
To the person who said ‘how do you know you will end up with someone better if you divorce?’ Seriously??? You think women are so worthless they should be satisfied or content with this sort of relationship?
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
those guys just stated their views. why is it so hard to be tolerant of a different opinion??
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
^No point trying to get my attention Nomi, you're on ignore..
(How did I know you wouldn't be able to resist posting after me)
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Not everyone and every situation deserves a second chance. He strangled her, I am amazed that she is still with him.
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
why should we be tolerant towards ignorance? Isn't it because of ignorance that a lot of people hate on Muslims, Pakistanis, Westerners, Americans etc etc etc
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Maybe God is giving you a reason here, you don't have any kids with this guy...you can leave better off than if you had kids. Your connection will be cut off totally! A guy who talks crap to you about your appearance and then says "i love you, and you are my life" the next, is definitely bipolar/psychotic. If he can strangle you over the matter of a child, it shows his mentality.
Please leave him and seek a better life. In our society, people believe if you can't maintain your marriage then your life's over. NO! Get out of this negative environment, make yourself happy! Allah has plans for everyone, inshAllah, he will have a better plan for you!
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
Seriously - people posting about giving him a chance need to step back and think about what they're saying. If someone choked you, tried to KILL you, could you even be within 10 feet of him/her? Choking your wife is assault and rockon needs to get out of there ASAP.
AzaanCheema, you need to read her actual post, genius. =///
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
HERE ! Most of girls want her to be separate :ASA::ASA:
I think you have serious reading comprehension skills. as in, a lack of.
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
I think you have serious reading comprehension skills. as in, a lack of.
And writing. Lol.
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
HERE ! Most of girls want her to be separate :ASA::ASA:
Under normal circumstances I am also a proponent of giving relationships a second chance and making all efforts to save a troubled marriage. But in this case I honestly don't believe the guy deserves a second chance. It's not about wanting her to seperate. It's about making sure she lives to see another day.
So it's not just the girls.
Re: Would you consider this controlling behavior? Is this love? I want to leave so ba
I,m psychologist . And i know better where is the major problem in both of Them.. You guys can,t see from where i do..