Re: Would you be okay with letting you fiancee go clubbing without you
Well, since you have not been to any night clubs in Vegas and I’m not sure if you’ve been to any other night clubs in the U.S., allow me to clarify something…night clubs don’t have topless women dancing in tables while men throw dollar bills at them. That is a strip club and yes, there is a BIG difference.
As for my husband looking at “scantily dressed women”…he does not need to be in a nightclub for that. In the U.S., especially in the South, during the summer plenty of women walk around practically naked with super short shorts and barely there tops. We’ve also gone to many beaches where women in string bikinis walk around in the beach, hotel/resort pool etc. On the flip side, I’ve also seen my share of men in swim trunks only…quite a few even in speedos which doesn’t leave much to the imagination (and may I add many of these men have been super hot!). If I really had an issue with my husband looking at/being near scantily dressed women, him going to a Vegas nightclub is the lease of my problem then! We’d have to move out of the U.S. and never ever go to a beachy vacation!
LOL…I don’t mean to freak you out but if you talk to any divorce attorney or therapist that deals with couples, they will tell you that overwhelming majority of the people who cheat on a significant other (whether it’s BF/fiance or spouse), are not out meeting the other person in a nightclub lol. Most people who cheat on their spouse actually do it with a person they know in their regular life…neighbor, co-worker, friend etc. In fact, especially women…women don’t usually cheat b/c our hormones are just out of control. Studies have shown (and any therapist out there will confirm) that women tend to cheat b/c there is a lack of emotional connection/romance/spark in their relationship. If they’re emotionally unhappy with their spouse, and there happens to be another man in their life who fills that emotional void…that’s then trouble arises. So if this is something that truly worries you, you need to keep an eye on ANY man your wife may interact with on a regular basis…no matter how harmless it seems.
As for my husband, if he wanted to have an affair or a one-night-stand…he does not need to go to a nightclub to do it. He has access to plenty of young, pretty nurses/residents at his hospital who he spends a lot of time with. He can easily find someone on one of those internet sites. I do not follow him during the day to make sure he’s going to his work/not leaving work early to go somewhere else…I don’t monitor his phone calls or go through his inter history on his ipad/phone etc.
We all have different ways of handling our relationships. You seem prefer to handle it by controlling where she goes/who she meets and believe that this will prevent her from cheating on you. I prefer to do everything in my power to keep my husband happy and do not [generally] limit where he’s going/who he’s meeting because I like to believe that he will not cross that line. Frankly I don’t think either method of 100% foolproof. If my husband or your fiancé were really unhappy, it wouldn’t be difficult for them to cheat. BUT…for now…my method gives me confidence and your method seems to be bring you peace so that’s all that matters. While you hope that my faith is not misplaced…I hope that your lack of faith in your fiancé is never justified by her behavior.
Re: Would you be okay with letting you fiancee go clubbing without you
scantly dressed does not = topless.
go to a beach in California and you’ll see women wearing things worse. Heck, go MOST places on the weekend (restaurants, etc) and you’ll see women wearing worse.
strip clubs do have topless women. And that’s a whole different story. I would never go to one and would never let my SO go to one either. Strip clubs you go to ogle at naked women; clubs are more for socializing/dancing. I’m not saying that clubs are halal but there’s a huge difference.
Re: Would you be okay with letting you fiancee go clubbing without you
You are correct that both are haram. But whether the activity is haram has nothing to do with this thread because OP doesn’t care about that. He’s not against his fiancé going into a club b/c it’s haram. He just doesn’t want her to go without him (ie. he himself is willing to go into such a haram place).
Re: Would you be okay with letting you fiancee go clubbing without you
One doesn’t even need to go out to see naked or half naked women, people can see them on internet, tv or smart phones. WHat I wanted to point out is that businesses that rely on sexual objectification of women are not fine with “conservative” people. Vegas is hotbed of an industry that relies on it, I don’t think lot of conservative muslims will be happy contributing their dollars to it.
Going to nighclubs doesn’t mean cheating, I have heard a lot of western women saying they are fine with their husbands going to strip clubs and have lap dances, since those women are not trying to “steal” their husbands, are only to make some quick bucks, I take it more like endorsing an environment.
