Today my friend called me crying because of something her SO did. Here is the story:
She is an average looking girl figure wise but wants to lose ten pounds before her wedding. Her SO always says that he is fine with her body the way it is, but still she barely eats.
Today for lunch she ordered fries after 6-7 months and her SO made a comment saying, if you eat those fries, you will never lose the 10lbs.
She came back and said “but I thought you are fine with my body the way it is” and he said “No, I said I am fine with the way it is now, but if you continue to eat fries, those 10lbs will become 20lbs”
She was very offended and called me crying. Now from my perspective, she has a valid point and it is okay for her to feel hurt.
What do you guys think? Was it right of her SO to say something like this to her?
No I think its very normal for someone to mind over weight issue, I'm a lil chubby(but not obese) and I get really upset if somone call me fatty or point at me while im eating, no matter who's saying that even my mum, and it's worse if spouse pass a nasty comment about ur weight or diet.
He made an insensitive remark which he shouldn't have made considering that your friend was already insecure about her weight. Therefore I think it's okay for her to feel this way.
When you openly and repeatedly declare your discontent with your body, why does it bother you when others make remarks acknowledging or validating your views? Keep telling people you think you're ten lbs heavier and so they will keep telling you how you should eat less.
Not a big deal. She might be over reacting. If it bothered her enough to bring her to tears then she needs to take it up with her SO. Maybe he saw how determined she is to lose her weight and didn't mean it in a nasty way. My husband and I say that stuff all the time to each other, it's called being in a relationship.
I know I should not write this... but can't help it.
She should have replied to him..... "If you keep yourself busy for longer duration in bed, then these fries will not have any effect"....:D
If he kept himself busy, I really do not understand how the fries would not have any effect. He would have to keep her busy for longer duration for the fries to not have an effect.
Today my friend called me crying because of something her SO did. Here is the story:
She is an average looking girl figure wise but wants to lose ten pounds before her wedding. Her SO always says that he is fine with her body the way it is, but still she barely eats.
Today for lunch she ordered fries after 6-7 months and her SO made a comment saying, if you eat those fries, you will never lose the 10lbs.
She came back and said “but I thought you are fine with my body the way it is” and he said “No, I said I am fine with the way it is now, but if you continue to eat fries, those 10lbs will become 20lbs”
She was very offended and called me crying. Now from my perspective, she has a valid point and it is okay for her to feel hurt.
What do you guys think? Was it right of her SO to say something like this to her?
Honestly she is acting like a crybaby. He made a very valid statement. I had a friend of mine who uses to gym for 2 hours daily in the morning and eat crap and then blame God for not loosing weight. If I said something about the food that she was eating, she would go around telling people that I was insensitive.
Depends on the tone and body language when he said it. The tone and body language would differentiate if he is saying it to help her or being mean.
If she thought he was being mean, she should have plainly stated, " That was hurtful. You could have gotten your point across in a nicer manner by saying that the fries are not helping me with my diet".
If the guy is truly clueless, you are providing him a guide on how to approach a sensitive subject. He won't always get it right but if he tries, that's what matters most.
Depends on the tone and body language when he said it. The tone and body language would differentiate if he is saying it to help her or being mean.
**If she thought he was being mean, she should have plainly stated, " That was hurtful. You could have gotten your point across in a nicer manner by saying that the fries are not helping me with my diet".
**If the guy is truly clueless, you are providing him a guide on how to approach a sensitive subject. He won't always get it right but if he tries, that's what matters most.
This. Also, she may be overly sensitive (crying) because she's hungry.
Still this guy sounds like a tool. Yeah her body's this way now... When they decide to have kids it won't be and will he still be making the same statements? If my fiance ever said that to me I'd clock him one and he knows it.
Sure I agree but I dont think they are at that comfort level yet. I would think in the beginning it would be best not to be this blunt. But IDK I would be a lil sad if my SO said this to me.
Not a big deal. She might be over reacting. If it bothered her enough to bring her to tears then she needs to take it up with her SO. Maybe he saw how determined she is to lose her weight and didn't mean it in a nasty way. My husband and I say that stuff all the time to each other, it's called being in a relationship.
Also, she may be overly sensitive (crying) because she's hungry.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, maybe a little bit of both! A man should never touch the subject of weight with his significant other and he should always believe that she is the most gorgeous woman and he is the luckiest guy in the world to be blessed with her companionship.
Yeah, maybe a little bit of both! A man should never touch the subject of weight with his significant other and he should always believe that she is the most gorgeous woman and he is the luckiest guy in the world to be blessed with her companionship.
Yeah, maybe a little bit of both! A man should never touch the subject of weight with his significant other and he should always believe that she is the most gorgeous woman and he is the luckiest guy in the world to be blessed with her companionship.
Exactly! And why are people expecting a GUY to have the sensitivity or tact of a girl? This girl is being stupid by being hurt about this. And by the way, since she herself talks about her weight, any matter-of-fact person will tell her the same thing her husband did.
When you openly and repeatedly declare your discontent with your body, why does it bother you when others make remarks acknowledging or validating your views? Keep telling people you think you're ten lbs heavier and so they will keep telling you how you should eat less.
