Ok here is the deal.. this girl at my work is like my new best friend now.. last week on Monday, she showed with a brand new red hair, the top of her hair is deep red and the bottom is black.. Even though I did say she looks beautiful, but that was a fat lie.. she looked Baaad.. but because she was so excited about it and keep telling me how her BF loved it… so I had to be nice or what not.
So my question to you guys is, would you be honest and tell them how you feel about it.. or you’d be diplomatic? How would you express your true feelings without hurting the other person?
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
Ah this is a sticky one. If she was saying 2 u that she wasnt 2 sure about it, and wanted your opinion then i would say that it lukd bad, but when she herself is so excited abt it and her bf likes it, ure better off just not saying anything about it
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
Ok here is the deal.. this girl at my work is like my new best friend now.. last week on Monday, she showed with a brand new red hair, the top of her hair is deep red and the bottom is black.. Even though I did say she looks beautiful, but that was a fat lie.. she looked Baaad.. but because she was so excited about it and keep telling me how her BF loved it... so I had to be nice or what not.
So my question to you guys is, would you be honest and tell them how you feel about it.. or you'd be diplomatic? How would you express your true feelings without hurting the other person?
I personally believe that it's tough to form sincere friendships at work. Because the workplace is a competitive environment and coworkers whom you think are your friends....can stab you behind your back to get ahead. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but please be careful.
Since it's the workplace.....you want to be careful about maintaining positive relationships. You don't want to piss of someone you who works with you because they could potentially find ways to deliberately jeopardize your job as revenge.
It seems like your friend is happy with her hairstyle......so **LET IT GO. **We all have our own tastes in fashion. My mom and sis are not crazy about nose piercings....but I got my nose pierced anyways and am fine with it. See what I mean? Her boyfriend likes it and she's satisfied. Also, even though you don't like it......keep in mind that the hair dye will eventually fade after a few months and she'll get it dyed another color.
If it were a friend outside of work, I might gently tell her the truth. But for someone at work.......NO WAY. Too risky. Let it go.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
If someone I knew told me they/their bf LOVED their hair and wanted to know what I thought about it.. I don't think I'd tell them it looks bad because:
A) it would obviously hurt her which is just *not nice.. *
B) It's not like her hair is a really big issue affecting loads of people, so I'd let it be.
C) It's just MY personal opinion.. not a fact that she must be informed of it.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
I personally believe that it's tough to form sincere friendships at work. Because the workplace is a competitive environment and coworkers whom you think are your friends....can stab you behind your back to get ahead. I'm not saying that this will happen to you, but please be careful.
Since it's the workplace.....you want to be careful about maintaining positive relationships. You don't want to piss of someone you who works with you because they could potentially find ways to deliberately jeopardize your job as revenge.
It seems like your friend is happy with her hairstyle......so **LET IT GO. **We all have our own tastes in fashion. My mom and sis are not crazy about nose piercings....but I got my nose pierced anyways and am fine with it. See what I mean? Her boyfriend likes it and she's satisfied. Also, even though you don't like it......keep in mind that the hair dye will eventually fade after a few months and she'll get it dyed another color.
If it were a friend outside of work, I might gently tell her the truth. But for someone at work.......NO WAY. Too risky. Let it go.
lol.. I know what you mean.. I can let it go but the problem is that not many people like it either, people stare at her if she is a freak show and I feel bad for her. In her head she thinks " oh they must adore my hair" hence the staring, but in reality it's the opposite. I wish i can be one of those honest friends who fix your flaws, but I can't and I feel guilty for not being a good/truthful person.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
If someone I knew told me they/their bf LOVED their hair and wanted to know what I thought about it.. I don't think I'd tell them it looks bad because:
A) it would obviously hurt her which is just *not nice.. *
B) It's not like her hair is a really big issue affecting loads of people, so I'd let it be.
C) It's just MY personal opinion.. not a fact that she must be informed of it.
Thats just what I think.. :)
Chipkali (lol nice name) the thing is that it's not a big deal for me, I can live with it not a biggy.. but my fear is that I will seize this habit of not being honest even when it comes to outside of my work environment because I would be too afraid of being honest and hurting their feelings. You see where I'm coming from?
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
lol.. I know what you mean.. I can let it go but the problem is that not many people like it either, people stare at her if she is a freak show and I feel bad for her. In her head she thinks " oh they must adore my hair" hence the staring, but in reality it's the opposite. I wish i can be one of those honest friends who fix your flaws, but I can't and I feel guilty for not being a good/truthful person.
Yeah, but it's the workplace, sweetie. You can't take such risks in the workplace. TRUST ME....people can be so petty at work and will seek revenge for the most ridiculous of things.
Maybe some people will look at her with a more harsh expression and then she'll eventually get the idea that her hair does not look as nice as she thought. Or maybe someone will point that out to her later on. But it doesn't have to be you. Sometimes people have to learn things the hard way in order to really wake up.
And her new look is not going to be permanent. The dye will eventually fade and she'll style it differently in the future.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
Chipkali (lol nice name) the thing is that it's not a big deal for me, I can live with it not a biggy.. but my fear is that I will seize this habit of not being honest even when it comes to outside of my work environment because I would be too afraid of being honest and hurting their feelings. You see where I'm coming from?
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
Chipkali,
Look hon, you KNOW that you treat your mom, siblings, cousins, and friends outside of close differently than your co-workers.
You know that you have a more stronger, comfortable, and frank relationship with these people and it's easier to be honest with them. And there's always a nicer way to give criticism.
For example, let's say your good friend, Sarah, (outside of work) is wearing an unflattering shirt that she likes and is almost about to buy it. She asks your opinion. You can give your criticism like this:
"**Sarah, you really have such a pretty face and cute figure. And I don't think that this shirt is doing you justice in bringing out all the positive features you have. If you're happy with it, then you can buy it. BUT, I was thinking that you should maybe try out this red shirt....cuz i think you will look much hotter in it."
**See what I mean? There is always a nicer and more flattering way of giving suggestions, so that the other person doesn't get offended. But save your criticisms for friends outside of work.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
if shes happy n her BF loves so should u...i mean b happy for her.red color fades fast so in a week or so it will look much better anyways.
PS i love red hair not red necks :)
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
lol.. I know what you mean.. I can let it go but the problem is that not many people like it either, people stare at her if she is a freak show and I feel bad for her. In her head she thinks " oh they must adore my hair" hence the staring, but in reality it's the opposite. I wish i can be one of those honest friends who fix your flaws, but I can't and I feel guilty for not being a good/truthful person.
Now i need to see her pic b4 i answer that :)can u post it plz lol
theres no need to b guilty at all.a harmless lie which makes other happy is much better than an honest truth that breaks ones heart.
Re: Would You Be Honest And Tell Your Friends they Look Horrible
you call a harmless lie.. white lie.. sometimes you have to white lie..
no harm, what is more important for you making her happy and keeping her friendship or being blunt.. and hurting her potentially ruining your friendship and also making it more competitive for u at work..
something happened with me like this one, ahem my ex best friend came up to me and asked me how she looked. it was like horrible, she was wearing khussey with jeans and stuff and tight short shirt and she had cut her hair, really heavy makeup and eye make up done wrong etc etc… i was like you look fab! and she hugged me and pecked me on the cheek.. she was like so damn happy and then we went out and she kept on saying thanx for saying i look good today i am so happy YOU did etc etc.. and considering the kind of person i am who cannot be mean etc and direct to anyone and is shy and a softie i just melted like anything and forgot about her appearance. because for me appearance doesnt matter, for me what matters is the person and how they behave with me and how they treat me. i would like to be respected and treated the same way i treat and respect someone else. give and take.. reciprocation
Later on hassi mazaak mai i did tell her you know F short shirts do not suit u etc etc and she listened to me:cb: