Would You be Friends With Him

My father knows this pakistani guy who hasnt told his first wife that he got married again in USA
Here he married this mexican lady for her citizenship and hasnt told her about the family he already has…he is planning on leaving her when he gets his papers but she dosnt know.She loves him i suppose.

So would you be friends with this guy …or would you say that if hes not sincere to his wives he cant be sincere to anyone?

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Wait and watch a bunch of cholos taking the dumb man down.

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well you have to look at his situation-- he might need papers to help bring his family from pakistan to the U.S.---

if anything he should have told the mexican lady straight up and just payed her and got his paperwork- MANY people do that- just pay (no relationship) and get the work done- bc hey man- money talks-

and i do get why he didnt tell his wife- bc some women can b like NO way another chick blah blah and go ballistic!! and never let anything happen even if its for their good cause- but some women wouldnt mind--

so the question to shuld u b friends- with him- i honestly would - i mean it has nutting to do with me- its his issue- his life, his concern- thats that- he deals with it- im no one to tell his wife about what hes doing an wat ever- i stick to my own business- other than that i think hes helping his family if anything--

p.s. why is he getting his paperwork done from a mexican?? never heard that one? they hopped the fence too ya kno ;) lol justt kidding joke tha!!..

I don't think it's fair to the Mexican woman. I have heard that some people do "marry" others with intention of getting them citizenship....but there is a mutual understanding between the two individuals that this so called marriage does not involve emotion or romance. It is simply done for practical reasons and after the purpose has been attained, the marriage is **mutually **dissolved.

This guy could have taken the ^above route and that would have made things easier for him because the woman he marries would know that the marriage is to be dissolved later on. I think he should have been HONEST with the Mexican woman. It is WRONG to deceive someone like that especially if there are sincere feelings of love involved. Imagine how she would feel when he drops her like a hot potato after receiving the necessary papers. And I don't mean to gross anyone out, but if he is not in love with this Mexican woman, the thought of him enjoying his cake to full advantage........and then dumping her after getting the papers is disturbing.

You could look at this situation any way you want. You can see him as a man who in order to bring his family here, is toying with the emotions of a woman who might sincerely be in love with him. You can see him as a man who lacks the courage to be honest with his intentions. You can see him as a man who is trying to do a good thing using deceptive methods. And lastly, you can even see him as a man who loves and values his family so much that he will do ANYTHING to reunite with them.

You can think to yourself that his problems have NO CONCERN with you......and continue being his friend. Or you can be disgusted with his issues that are NOT related to you.....and dump him as a friend.

^Or if you're that concerned about him......then why dont' you talk to him about his actions. Ask him how he would feel when he slaps her in the face with a sudden separation. Ask him if he thinks its okay to sleep in her bed and take advantage of her when he is not in love with her and is using her......and she's unaware of it. If you're that concerned, then why not pose these questions to him? Fake marriages that are MUTUALLY understood to be fake.....take place often. Since he did **not **take that route, then he has his conscience to deal with. Sometimes desi marriages take place for the sake of attaining a green card. Once the guy gets what the papers, he dumps the girl. Does this guy have a daughter or sister? It would be said if some guy took advantage of his own daughter/female loved ones like that.

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what he has already done it not reversible.... but for further ahead he should be honest with that Mexican lady.... he should not leave her after his paper done..... he must confess his deception to both of his wives after everything is done....
many guys in these countries have more then one wives but the only thing he has to do is not to register one of that marriage...

If this can't be sincere to his 1st wife than he's gone be sincere to his friends?....

My answer big NO!

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My answer is:

I would talk to him and tell him he needs to straighten himself out and if not...I would limit my contact.

You are the company you keep.

Well it depends on how your Dad knows him. If he is bringing in money for your business then stay friends! Lol.

Seriously speaking though, I like to enjoy my life and that involves not interfering in other people's business or judging them. I don't like to break up with anyone or hurt their feelings. If it is not directly affecting me in anyway then why should I worry about it. Its not always fair to judge. But if he asks for advice on this situation then yes I would advise him to be honest with first wife or choose which one he wants.

If your Dad enjoys a good friendship with him then he should carry on being friends.

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I'd call homeland security.

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Basically he is just using and maritially and emotionally abusing a woman to serve his own needs.

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Reading about this guy - I don’t understand how the question of “friendship” comes in. :confused:

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^ that is exactly why I didnt chew over it much. Didnt quite see the connection.

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Connection is that would u be frensd with someone who is doing something that you feel is immoral/illegal/just plain wrong?

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^ I dont think all my friends are saints. I am not a saint either, should my friends abandon me? I'm sorry it seems a bit too self righteous to me.

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You should be friends with someone who you can trust. Can this person ever be trusted?

If you're pro-life, would you be friends with a doctor who performed abortions?

Weren't some of us advising a girl to stay away from her "friend" who had gotten pregnant wiht antoher man's baby after having an affair right before her wedding?

Im just saying--it can go both ways, for some what a friend does in their personal life shouldn't and doesnt bother htem, but for others, it could b/c to them it shows a lack of character on that person's part. For one person it could depend on the severity of the sin and hwo it would affect them.

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No, but I would happily turn him over to BCIS. Men like this are disgusting.

Hahahaha Sara, thanks for the interpreting it for us.

So, if a guy had two wives in separate countries, and the wives were unaware, would I be friends with him?

Well, of course. It's permissible religiously to have multiple wives and he need not seek the wives' permission before marrying another.

This does not tell us anything about his morals, principles etc. etc. so insufficient information for judgement.

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NO - that would be a HUGE NO!!!

He does not any any right to use his 2nd wife that way. She obviously married him with pure intent, and he is just USING her!

It doesn't matter what his reasons are - he has NO right to treat anyone that deceitfully!! Oh my gosh - I wouldn't ever want to be in the same room as him!!

But thats just me of course.... I hope that you will at least let him know that he has no right to use his 2nd wife like that!

Oh - I'm SO with you on this one!!