Re: would you adopt?
no.. it's too complicated. I would rather raise my hubby then!!! He needs a major growing up!!!
Re: would you adopt?
^
religiously i don’t see any thing forbidding it. remember, an adopted boy will be a na mehram for u once he gets older. if u adopt a girl its not a big deal. Socially and culturally i def think it would be a problem. And also u have to deal with the law in the country you are in, i’m pretty sure adoption standards wud be pretty strict, in the US it’s becoming pretty common for single older women who have money to adopt, i’m not sure how easy it’d be for a 21 yr old girl to adopt though…
If you find out you and your partner cant have kids for whatever reason would you want to adopt if No explain why not.
we did after our loss the associated complications meant we could not have kids.
Yes I would.
but When I think If I adopt a girl she would become ghair mahram for my husband and if I adopt a boy he would become ghair mahram for me after becoming teenager.
is it such a huge issue really? not everyone is woody allen.
btw u can always nurse em and then they become mehrams
which is kinda strange loop hole eh?
ne mehram but heres some milk and boom...mehram.
I think so but the child's natural father name (valdeyat) must stay with him, that can't be changed.
1- if known
2- not necessary as long as the adoption is not kept a secret
I agree
Because of what's happened to me, people think they are helping by coming up to me and saying - "You should adopt - so and so did and so and so did etc etc" My gut reaction used to be - I can have children of my own - I've proved that.
Over time i found myself having more and mor eof these conversations and all the complexities start to come out:
- If I adopt, and go onto have a child of the opposite sex born naturally they will become ghair mehram for my adopted child.
- The adopted child will not be able to forego his/her fathers identity
- The adopted child doesn't have the same inheritance rights
You see, 'adopted' chldren and moh boleh children is a tradition and not necessarily adaptable to the islamic way of life.
There are so many people in our culture who say "Mereh beteh/beti jaisah/jaisi hai" BUT without the blood bond it's not right.
list answers
1) nurse em if its that big of a deal and u have instant mehrams
\
2) most adopted kids parents identity is not known in Pakistan and in many other places you are not told anything anyways, kids have names given to them by orphanages
3) adopted child can have the same inhertiance rights if the other ppl agree.
technically by islamic inheritance laws which were put in place to encourage ppl to adopt and take inheritance based arguments away, my brothers have more of a claim on my inheritance than my children who are adopted, but the bros can choose to waive their claim, which they did.
part of the inheritance and all being kept seperate was also so ppl dont go adopting the kids of their deceased pals and family members with a goal to get the hands on the inheritance of the orphaned child.
although i do know of one case where a girl adopted by pakistanis in buffalo NY was left on her own when her parents died in an accident, her uncles booted her saying she had no claim on their brother's property and assets. I am not really sure how that seems islamic and all.
Re: would you adopt?
^ what a nice post :k:
Re: would you adopt?
^ What he/she said.
Re: would you adopt?
Mr X yes if known but It is necessary regardless of whether you keep the adoption secret or not. + you can't give your wealth (in a will) to the adopted kid either.
Re: would you adopt?
X2: Good post thumbs up
Re: would you adopt?
I would love to adopt - but I dont think I will ...
Re: would you adopt?
yes if there waz a no option of a childs birth then yes i would adopt after all itz a good cause and therez a reason behind it :)
im only goin to adopt y shuld i bring a another child to this ****ty world.
i love kids and recently found out that it will be very very hard for me to have kids due to a hormonal problem i have. im not married yet so my first worry is finding a man who will understand my problem, secondly a man who will understand my need to love a child as my own. inshalla when the time is right i will adopt maybe 3-4 children so my life long dream of a perfect family is complete.
theres nothing wrong with raising a child who is 'biologically' not yours as long as you love it and raise it as your own. every child deserves love, its not their fault they are in the situation where they have no parents.
instead i think you would get so much sawaab from allah for raising an obedient muslim child.
Mr X yes if known but It is necessary regardless of whether you keep the adoption secret or not. + you can't give your wealth (in a will) to the adopted kid either.
Talked to many scholars in different countries to reach the conclusions we reached.
the name question is a rather interesting debate and ends with personal preferences, which really mostly is what to do when names are not known or disclosed.
Wealth question is much esier, you can absolutely give your wealth to an adopted kid, a couple of things, first of all, islamically if the other 'beneficiaries' withdraw their claim in the interest of the adopted kid, or rather gift their 'stake' to the child. There is zero laws in islam against a person giving another person any gift.
secondly, you follow the laws of the land that you live in, and the laws of where I live give all the legal rights to an adopted child that a biological child would have.
im only goin to adopt y shuld i bring a another child to this ****ty world.
aaaaaaaww..sometimes i also think this same thing..:(...
Yes I would adopt....
There are so many kids in this world that are left to fend for themselves, so if you can give someone a home, which you will benefit too, why not just do it....
Yes I would adopt....
There are so many kids in this world that are left to fend for themselves, so if you can give someone a home, which you will benefit too, why not just do it....
very commendable thinking..i agree!
aaaaaaaww..sometimes i also think this same thing..:(...
really i dont understand those people saying how can u love someones kid like ur own,n wat if this childs parents were criminals?beyond me simply
Re: would you adopt?
^^ if the child's parents are criminals then what fault is it to the child?
To each his own -- lekin I can't understand how anyone can NOT love all children like they are his own. Yeh kudrati cheez hoti hai Allah mian key dei hoowee.
^^ if the child's parents are criminals then what fault is it to the child?
To each his own -- lekin I can't understand how anyone can NOT love all children like they are his own. Yeh kudrati cheez hoti hai Allah mian key dei hoowee.
im sure Allah ki taraf say hota hai ziyada muhababat apnay aulad kay liye but tell me ive seen people who culd nt have kids so the husband got married again y cant they adopt wats a big deal a child is a child.
Re: would you adopt?
those people are loosers