would you adopt?

shab-e-firaq · July 22, 2008, 4:06am

If you find out you and your partner cant have kids for whatever reason would you want to adopt if No explain why not.

shining_star · July 22, 2008, 6:18am

Re: would you adopt?

that would depend on my partner's choice too.if he would be having no problem with an adopted child,then i too wouldn't mind adopting a child,if we couldn't have our own kids..

Monk · July 22, 2008, 6:24am

Re: would you adopt?

YES I will.

ShiningStar · July 22, 2008, 6:43am

Yes I would.

but When I think If I adopt a girl she would become ghair mahram for my husband and if I adopt a boy he would become ghair mahram for me after becoming teenager.

ShiningStar · July 22, 2008, 6:47am

Re: would you adopt?

I would love to adopt even after having kids 2 to help a needy person.

In my opinion we have to adopt at least 1 orphane to help them If financially can adopt. Its my buchpun dream to adopt a needy orphan.

I wan't to adopt a kid specialy girl who has left along after earth quake but I don't know how to do that.

If someone will help me I sure will adopt a girl.

jalebi121 · July 23, 2008, 10:51am

It is such an innate and human desire to have a child. To be deprived of that must be extremely devastating even if one doesn't have a huge parental urge. I cannot really imagine what I would do in that situation...I would probably focus on my career and move to Pakistan and work with an NGO or some women's organization. Or I would become a teacher..actually I am already lol

ShiningStar · July 23, 2008, 11:11am

Re: would you adopt?

I'm not fond of Child but I love to help people.

I love cute buchchay.

Chipkali · July 23, 2008, 12:51pm

Re: would you adopt?

I would like to adopt a child one day, regardless of whether I have kids or not, Insh'Allah.

sweefs · July 23, 2008, 3:13pm

Re: would you adopt?

^ Same here chips. I would LOVE and Inshallah I will, adopt atleast 2 or more children.

Umm this may be a stupid question, but don’t beat me up about it. Are single muslim women aged 21+ allowed to adopt?

Let_Uz_Chat · July 23, 2008, 3:19pm

I think so but the child’s natural father name (valdeyat) must stay with him, that can’t be changed.

Personally I’d love to adopt a kid. A + point at my place of work is a lot of kids come and whenever I’m down and tired I look at them and they bring a smile to my face.

_MuNiYa · July 23, 2008, 3:41pm

Re: would you adopt?

I think the decision is more complex then many of us tend to believe.

sTaLkEr · July 23, 2008, 4:07pm

Re: would you adopt?

a tough one...

Cantankerous · July 23, 2008, 4:20pm

Re: would you adopt?

Hey I have always always wanted to adopt childern from slums all over the world, but too bad Angelina Jolie stole my plan. Now it doesn't sound so original anymore. :(

wannabe_a_mum · July 23, 2008, 4:31pm

I agree

Because of what's happened to me, people think they are helping by coming up to me and saying - "You should adopt - so and so did and so and so did etc etc"
My gut reaction used to be - I can have children of my own - I've proved that.

Over time i found myself having more and mor eof these conversations and all the complexities start to come out:

If I adopt, and go onto have a child of the opposite sex born naturally they will become ghair mehram for my adopted child.
The adopted child will not be able to forego his/her fathers identity
The adopted child doesn't have the same inheritance rights

You see, 'adopted' chldren and moh boleh children is a tradition and not necessarily adaptable to the islamic way of life.

There are so many people in our culture who say "Mereh beteh/beti jaisah/jaisi hai" BUT without the blood bond it's not right.

_MuNiYa · July 23, 2008, 4:31pm

Re: would you adopt?

^^ So you were doing it for fame?

its always original to do a good deed my love.

NaTaLia · July 23, 2008, 4:33pm

Re: would you adopt?

adopting a kid is easy ,but raising them and be fair with them will be tough.and what about ur stupid relatives who will waste no time in telling the kid that eeewww you are adopted ,these are not your real parents.and trust me when this new comes ,its a BIG shock.i have seen my cousin.she found out at the age of 12 that she is adopted ,she got soo disturbed.cause some kids are very sensitive.

Cantankerous · July 23, 2008, 4:39pm

Well yeah! Why else would I like to put up with cranky kids from all over the world.

_MuNiYa · July 23, 2008, 4:39pm

Re: would you adopt?

Wanna Be Mum:

a reply to your points:

1- very true I wonder about that too
2- According to Islam we are supposed to tell them they are adopted and from where. They are always to keep in contact or know about thier origins so its not a matter of the child not being able to let go. I think for me it becomes about me being able to let him/her have two sets of parents.
3- Dont you think that if we as adopted parents wanted to give them the same inheritance it would be okay? And I'm not rich not nothing much to give so that solves that problem. :)

You know what - often we start the adoption process thinking thoughts such as
"I wanna help the less fortunate"
"How could anyone give thier child up for adoption"

But you know what --- there are those couples who can't have children. So whose the less fortunate one there, the people Allah mian hasn't given children to or the child who doesn't have a parent? Or are they made for each other?

How can anyone give thier child up.. when they could have had an abortion right? Well thank you biological mom for enduring the troubles of the 9 months and then the labour and then giving me your child who is a piece of you.... and thank you biological parents for trusting me with your child and thank you for fulfilling my life.

To think that you want to raise a child to help society is a very noble thought but is it strong enough to carry you through a lifetime with this child? What will you say when you're child tellsyou that you're not thier real parents? Reply that they were jsut a civil service for you too?

ShiningStar · July 23, 2008, 6:15pm

There is no limit to adopt…but our people will shak…kaheen inka hi to naheen hai.

ShiningStar · July 23, 2008, 6:26pm

_MuNiYa:

Wanna Be Mum:

a reply to your points:

1- very true I wonder about that too 2- According to Islam we are supposed to tell them they are adopted and from where. They are always to keep in contact or know about thier origins so its not a matter of the child not being able to let go. I think for me it becomes about me being able to let him/her have two sets of parents. 3- Dont you think that if we as adopted parents wanted to give them the same inheritance it would be okay? And I'm not rich not nothing much to give so that solves that problem. :)

You know what - often we start the adoption process thinking thoughts such as "I wanna help the less fortunate" "How could anyone give thier child up for adoption"

But you know what --- there are those couples who can't have children. So whose the less fortunate one there, the people Allah mian hasn't given children to or the child who doesn't have a parent? Or are they made for each other?

How can anyone give thier child up.. when they could have had an abortion right? Well thank you biological mom for enduring the troubles of the 9 months and then the labour and then giving me your child who is a piece of you.... and thank you biological parents for trusting me with your child and thank you for fulfilling my life.

To think that you want to raise a child to help society is a very noble thought but is it strong enough to carry you through a lifetime with this child? What will you say when you're child tellsyou that you're not thier real parents? Reply that they were jsut a civil service for you too?

Agree.

For Other guppy

Sometimes ppl even don't give a single penny to their biological son or daughter so its not a big deal if you don't want to give anything then don't give.

Make your will and don't add his her name.