Lets say that its bee a year you are married to your spouse and you don’t have kids.
Your spouse contracts HIV by needle injury/blood transfusion/surgery(not by cheating).
Would you leave him/her.
If you continue to live with ur spouse, will you continue to consummate marriage?
EDITED QUESTION:
What if you were just engaged, will you go on with marriage or no?
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I would not leave him at any cost. The bond of wife and husband should not be that weak. There is no time of Death, maybe I would die before him so life becomes hard but I don't think to leave your life partner is the right way and it's not easy too.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
The problem is that even if I make an extraordinary claim now (with sincere and positive intentions) the worth of my sincerity towards my wife can only be analyzed by the "TEST of time", NOT by my words.
I have seen people making big claims in the times of comfort and peace but couldn't stick to them when nature decided to see if they hold true to their words.
I pray to Allah (s.w.t) to keep me away from tests that are beyond my strength and might have a bad effect on my relationship with my wife, BUT if Allah decides to put me in such a test, than HE may also bless me with the strength and wisdom to take the right step which is not only good for my spouse and my family in this life but also has a good effect on our life in the hereafter.
Lets say that its bee a year you are married to your spouse and you don't have kids.
Your spouse contracts HIV by needle injury/blood transfusion/surgery(not by cheating).
Would you leave him/her.
If you continue to live with ur spouse, will you continue to consummate marriage?
In case of HIV, you can use protection to protect yourself and continue the physical relationship .. so really , that should not be the reason to leave her/him ..
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I don't think I would even consider leaving my spouse if that were to happen. As far as physical needs, one can use protection.
Hey people can die without having HIV...one heart attack and whoosh, we are gone. Or we could get cancer or kidney failure. Or an accident and get paralyzed. We have no control on life or death, and in many cases, over the quality of life.
Failing health would be the last reason to leave a spouse, I think.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
Never. More of a reason so stick by my spouse and support him in the hard times.
Really, marriage is a lot stronger than that... If its not, it should be...
The problem is that even if I make an extraordinary claim now (with sincere and positive intentions) the worth of my sincerity towards my wife can only be analyzed by the "TEST of time", NOT by my words.
I have seen people making big claims in the times of comfort and peace but couldn't stick to them when nature decided to see if they hold true to their words.
I pray to Allah (s.w.t) to keep me away from tests that are beyond my strength and might have a bad effect on my relationship with my wife, BUT if Allah decides to put me in such a test, than HE may also bless me with the strength and wisdom to take the right step which is not only good for my spouse and my family in this life but also has a good effect on our life in the hereafter.
I appreciate this response really.. I also sincerely wish May Allah keep my lovedones away from such diseases Ameen
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
"Lets say"....??
How do you folks come up with such morbid hypotheticals? And if this is a real life case, then "Allah rehm karay..."
Anyway, altruisitic intentions aside, I don't think the answer is so cut-and-dried. Relationships are complicated, and every person has a right to expect to reproduce and have children. I don't think you'd want to reproduce with an HIV infected person. Suicide is haram in Islam. Once you take out the fluffy, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff, the answer may not be this beautifully gift-wrapped gold box that some of you expect. :)
"Lets say"....??
How do you folks come up with such morbid hypotheticals? And if this is a real life case, then "Allah rehm karay..."
Anyway, altruisitic intentions aside, I don't think the answer is so cut-and-dried. Relationships are complicated, and every person has a right to expect to reproduce and have children. I don't think you'd want to reproduce with an HIV infected person. Suicide is haram in Islam. Once you take out the fluffy, mushy, lovey-dovey stuff, the answer may not be this beautifully gift-wrapped gold box that some of you expect. :)
I agree !
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I dunno Faisal, prob the first time I actually disagree with you.
Lets say its not HIV..
Lets say a couple is having trouble conceiving after being married for years and they know who the problem is with.. do u think one should leave? or one should ask the other to leave to go and reproduce with someone else and be happy? Is marriage that weak? it shouldnt be...
I have seen couples stick it out... and believe me, I have great great great respect for them.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I am not saying don't respect them. What I am saying is that such an act may not be everyone's cuppa tea. For some its perfectly fine to stick it out with a guy (or gal) with whom they can't conceive. For others its insanely important to have their own child. Islam allows this as a reason for demanding divorce. Makes complete sense why Islam allows that, don't you think.
Re: HIV, its a dangerous infection, and if it turns into AIDS, there is really no cure for that right now. As such it is not a great idea to infect yourself with a fatal disease. I don't think Islam allows that too. So unprotected sex is out of question. I don't know about IVF in such situations, but my whole point is that if people want to part ways and live a normal life with someone else, no one should grudge their choice. Its a tough one whichever way you look at it.
And the person who got infected with HIV due to a needle... heartfelt sympathies. Life ain't fair. But its finite. Hereafter is what he/she should worry about more.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I am not disagreeing with that... I am disagreeing with the fact its suicide. Yes, unprotected sex is suicide, but taking precautions is not.
Life isnt rose coloured at all.. marriage presents itself with many hurdles. If people have said that they would stick it out with their spouse, we should just acknowledge that rather than say that when the time comes, we might change our mind.... For me, I know i will stick by thick and thin... and i dont need to prove it to anyone except for my spouse
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
HIV is not AIDS. HIV, with out proper treatment, can transition into AIDS. I see no reason for a divorce or separation otherwise.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
Islam gave permission but If 1 person want to leave or divorse its their Huq so he or she go for it.
It's their own diecision.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
^ I don't believe the topic was not intended to take a religious turn. The question was clearly asked generally under medical reasoning.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
Religious resoning has all reasons............Like if he or she can't live like that
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I apologize for moving away from the topic, but I felt the need of sharing a perspective here, which can be totally wrong.
Muslims do consider their religion not just a religion but a "complete way of life", due to which it is not possible for them to make a decision in life without consulting or considering a religious perspective as well. Having said that, Islam doesn't stop us from thinking logically and scientifically. Depending upon the time and age, Islam gives us a direction and allow us to think reasonably with the use of technology whether it is medical or any other field.
It is a clear misunderstanding here between two of our respected members, where both of them are right at their own place. It becomes easier for us to understand our opponents if we place ourselves in the place of our opponent, this is what I have learned from a lot of good members on this forum.
I might be wrong. Allah knows BEST. May Allah (swt) bless us all with wisdom and help us in learning.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
I agree with your perspective in terms of religion as well as science. I also appreciate your logic and sensibility.
However, I don't believe there was any 'misunderstanding' among us. Clearly, her point was Islamic absolutism -- which I am indifferent to. My point was to respect all and practice patience.
I do, absolutely, admire your clear perspective. I thank you.
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
My 2 cents…Going back to the original topic…Would I stay if my spouse contracted HIV from a “blood transfusion”….
Of course, at this point, I’d say that I would like to think I would stick by my spouse no matter what the hurdles. However, knowing what I do of human emotion and conflict……..one spouse contacting HIV just does not effect a person’s health…It also plays a role in their relationships, their communication, their thoughts of the future. What if the relationship becomes unbarring? Maybe your spouse has changed in ways you cannot live with them due to the disease? Maybe this spouse no longer wants to stay with you…. I wouldn’t go as far as judging someone’s actions until I have lived in their shoes…Hopefully I will never have to put these particular shoes on…
Re: Would Leave Him/Her
That's very well thought and certainly sensible.
Agreed.