Would/have you told your spouse about previous relationships?

[Reha]

Re: Would/have you told your spouse about previous relationships?

@mclovin123

On what basis can you say the guy seems a bit judgmental?? Firstly, he just asked, secondly, we don’t have enough info on the guy. How can you just generalize something like that??

If its not his right, then she shouldn’t have lied about it, she should have simply told him in first place that it isn’t his right. I would like to know how she would feel or how anyone of us would feel, if our fiance (someone who we are willing to spend the rest of our lives with) says to us that its not our right. It is his business, she will be his wife. She will be the mother of his kids.

When random people ask you, you tell them what is necessary. Firstly, he is not just “people”, he is her fiance, secondly, you tell them what is necessary, you don’t lie to them.

She is acting shallow now because she is afraid of him using it as a weapon in the future (and that too, he might, currently he hasn’t done anything wrong). I’m sorry but you guys are protecting the girl, even though she is clearly wrong in this case, just because you have generalized that the husband is bad. Wow. or actually you think he will be bad not because he is bad at the moment. You are protecting her lie because of some future event which you guys have no idea about. Thats ridiculous. On that basis, one can lie to everyone on a daily basis because of something bad that might occur in the future because of one’s own mistake.

This is just morally wrong on all levels. Her entire relationship started with a lie. This girl is very selfish. She can still do something to redeem herself.

Living in the past is not like poison. Its about honesty.

If she doesn’t tell him now, then one day when he finds out after the marriage, he will have every right to use it against her. And she will deserve it.

There is no good that will come out of this “truth”. It will not benefit anyone and it definitely will not elevate her in his eyes. If he asked, he cares about her having no past and probably WILL use it against her in the future. I do not understand how this will practically do any good in their marriage. It will not. So, why go down that road? Why dig up old skeletons? She is in love with him, loyal to him and marrying him. What right does anyone have to go into HER past and question HER about HER actions? Unless her ex is a crazy psycho, she is carrying an STD or she was married, she needs to keep her mouth shut. No one has the right to use your past against you. No one. Its not theirs to use. And people who say it hurts…well…its a bunch of bull because it doesnt hurt anyone more than the person who goes through it. I find it so lame when people say “oh I was so hurt to find out he/she had a girlfriend or was in love before”…how self centered!!!

In my experience, letting the past die is the best way to secure a good future. People who keep dragging it with them like dead weight end up hurting others who get involved with them too.