My brother is like really into this spanish girl. She is extremely pretty. But obvious she is not muslim, comes from a broken family. My brother already like forced us to meet her. He has never introduced us to anyone before, so im worried. My brother is still in school, so im a bit worried. They are both only 20, and he mentioned that he would never marry before 30 but, I think that if this girl can talk him into introducing us, then what else can she talk him into?
Is there anyway to break them up? he can do much much much better than her.
My brother is like really into this spanish girl. She is extremely pretty. But obvious she is not muslim, comes from a broken family. My brother already like forced us to meet her. He has never introduced us to anyone before, so im worried. My brother is still in school, so im a bit worried. They are both only 20, and he mentioned that he would never marry before 30 but, I think that if this girl can talk him into introducing us, then what else can she talk him into?
Is there anyway to break them up? he can do much much much better than her.
How do you know she talked him into it? And I am sorry who are you decide who is better than him?
Otherwise I agree with your point, he's too young and needs guidance, 20's a bacha.
Well I don't think you can control what your brother does. Do your parents know about her? What kind of reaction did you guys give him? I think the only thing you can do is try and convince him to not do anything stupid that would affect his future. In not sure what much else you could control but providing him the proper guidance.
If they really love each other than really they are not going to wait for ten years to get married, abd if they do then it almost certain that they are develop a premarital relationship.
Having said that, I don't understand that why are you against it. Being from a broken family could be good, as she will take your family as her family, and would be willing to adapt to your cultural and family system
I can understand your apprehensions. Make dua for them. Hopefully your parents talk to him about what to look for in a partner. It is important for both girls and boys to have a strong idea of what to look or in a partner aside from physical attraction. Obviously he is attracted to her. Inshallah make dua for both of them and your parents should definitely tell him that religion of the girl he chooses is important.
Somebody needs to talk to your brother about what he wants from his life? How he wants to raise his future kids? If he's okay with his kids being raised like rest of the kids over here, then he can go ahead and marry or move in with her, whatever. But if he wants to raise his kids as Muslims, he better think about how he's going to do that. Marrying a Hispanic girl might not be the best thing in that case.
It all really depends on what he has planned for himself and his future family.
But to have a conversation it has to start from a neutral point and not how to break them up. At 20 he is not a child, there is no issue with him marrying a christian, I am assuming since most Hispanics are Christian.
Liking someone does not mean us get married in 3 days either. Treat him like an adult, understand his perspective and be next to him helping him think things rather than be opposite him.
I agree that he is too young for something serious...but for everything else..1) Who cares if she comes from a "broken" home? You mean her parents are divorced? You know what, so are mine. I hate to think some people out there thinks that reflects badly and I am less of a person because of it. If anything, it was a difficult experience which made me stronger and funnily enough closer to my parents. 2) she is not Muslim. Neither is my mother, yet I am and a proud Muslim at that. You live in a Western country..this is bound to happen at some point, maybe not to you, but to someone you know and it is not necessarily a bad thing.
The best you can do is keep your brother focused on school because that is what he should be at this age. If she continues to be part of his life, the least you can do is be nice to her. And may not be what you want for him, but that is life.
How do you know she talked him into it? And I am sorry who are you decide who is better than him?
Otherwise I agree with your point, he's too young and needs guidance, 20's a bacha.
a) he mentioned that she was asking him to introduce us, as she wants us to take her more seriously
b) Im his sister, I know his personality, I grew up with him. I know he can do better. Its like when you see a couple, and you know they just have that short term infatuation, you know what the end result is going to be, because u see it with a clear head, your not distracted by feelings/emotions.
If they really love each other than really they are not going to wait for ten years to get married, abd if they do then it almost certain that they are develop a premarital relationship.
Having said that, I don't understand that why are you against it. Being from a broken family could be good, as she will take your family as her family, and would be willing to adapt to your cultural and family system
LOL, you should stop watching bollywood love stories. Love is blind, alot of people do stupid things out of love, the problem is that love is very dangerous, its not like failing a class and just retaking it. You do something really stupid, and you can be affected the rest of your life.
a) he mentioned that she was asking him to introduce us, as she wants us to take her more seriously
She asked your brother to introduce her…..and your brother CHOSE to introduce her instead of breaking things off. Your brother, at age 20, is an adult. A young adult with limited life experience…..but nonetheless an adult. This girl did not force him to do anything.
Im his sister, I know his personality, I grew up with him. I know he can do better. Its like when you see a couple, and you know they just have that short term infatuation, you know what the end result is going to be, because u see it with a clear head, your not distracted by feelings/emotions.
You are his sister. So what? That doesn't' give you the right to manipulate his life by trying to come up with ways to break up his relationship w/ a girl who he seems to care for a lot. Is your mother/father not in the picture? B/C no mention of what your mother/father want. And going by your past posts….you're 29 and just got married like a month or two ago. What makes you think YOU have the life experience (or enough experience in relationships) to decide who would make a good partner for your brother?
And btw, don't for a moment fool yourself into thinking that your judgment is not clouded by emotions. This girl is a non-Muslim (if she's Spanish, I assume she's Catholic). So what? Islam allows a man to marry a Christian girl. The girl comes from a broken home….meaning her parents are divorced right? Again….how does that make HER a bad person/bad future wife? You have failed to mention any facts that actually make this girl a "bad match" for your brother. The only 2 things you managed to list show nothing more than you own narrow-minded view of others. It's great that you know your brother's personality. Why don't you take time & put effort into getting to know this girl's personality…..and THEN pass judgments on her.
I agree that he is too young for something serious...but for everything else..1) Who cares if she comes from a "broken" home? You mean her parents are divorced? You know what, so are mine. I hate to think some people out there thinks that reflects badly and I am less of a person because of it. If anything, it was a difficult experience which made me stronger and funnily enough closer to my parents. 2) she is not Muslim. Neither is my mother, yet I am and a proud Muslim at that. You live in a Western country..this is bound to happen at some point, maybe not to you, but to someone you know and it is not necessarily a bad thing.
The best you can do is keep your brother focused on school because that is what he should be at this age. If she continues to be part of his life, the least you can do is be nice to her. And may not be what you want for him, but that is life.
Im not saying that EVERYONE from a broken home is bad, not at all, I have seen both good and bad. Ive seen divorced women, whos daughters make their marriage work. I will say this though, if your muslim thats great, but this was your choice, not everone would choose the same thing.
Your last point is what I am really more focussed on. I want the kid to continue to focus on work/education/life. I dont want him to waste his time 24/7 with this girl, which is what he is doing now. But thank you for your point,
WOW, Ive meet her twice, both times she wore something like a miniskirt/ bondage dress, and she is meeting his family.
Im not manipulating anyone's life, but when you see someone with a great future, and instead of focusing on a premed degree, he is spending all his time and money on some bimbo, yea I will care, because I know she is with him for the car/vacations/money. Again, I wouldnt care, but he spends alot of his time with her/on the phone/ going out with her. Lets all be honest, going to college, getting a good GPA, these are really done once in a life time, yea, some people drop out and then come back, but they lost alot of time/money doing so. Just trying to save him from wasting his time.
As for being 29, I think an 15 year old, can see what short term infatuation is. I think nobody was suprised when Kim Kardashian divorced after 72 days. If you had a sister or brother, she/he was going out with a slime ball, like someone out of the Jersey Shore show (snookie or one of those guys). You seriously can't tell how its going to end?????
Forget it, its just that its one thing to not know whats happening. But to see it, and not say something or try to do something to protect someone you care about from loss of time/money/energy/education/other gain, is rediculous.
But that's the problem you can't control him. Honestly, girl in mini skirt, he doesn't think much about bringing her in front of you guys like that. To me it doesn't sound THAT serious. Sounds like any other college aged relationship. I don't think you should be doing anything to break them up, but the only thing you can do is just talk to your brother and see where his heads at. Your family needs to remind him of his priorities and yeah it's not going to go well but that's all you can really do and wait for him to come around on his own. This could just be a phase. If it seems more serious, does your brother not have his own sense to know not to bring his gf to his family in a mini skirt? It doesn't seem so. If he isn't religious, well then that's something you need to accept. But this seriously sounds like a typical college phase relationship.