What is the perception on women who either have kids or dont, who can stay at home, but prefer to work…or women who can work but prefer to stay at home…what do we as pakistani society see these women as…
Me personally, I dont know, i really wanted to work before AND help towards the costs, im slowly changing my mind, because i have seen men who have wives that work..take advantage…not in a bad way, but it seems that the bills or certian bills etc get carried into the womans name because shes working now…and so they feel they can splurge on things…now this could be a good or bad thing, what i know from the 2 couples i know who do this, that say islamically, its a man duty to provide, and if the women works its a bonus, she can spend on whatever, if she is pressured however, into putting it towards bills and stuff, the bonus of her working actually becomes a duty for her too…
im saying this, because i can see where we women, have to do our duty;s…but the men have theirs and should completly fulfill it…
It is a man's duty to provide but if a woman is working and the guy's pay isn;t sufficient enough to cover the costs then there is nothing wrong with wanting to have her income help them both out. Not obligatory religously I know but just a thought.
obv not, but both men i know earn a decent amount, one earns more than his wife, and now that shes working, his mind has started going into overdrive and hes started spreading money everywhere, despite his wife not being as happy with it.
Why are you so concerned with what people are thinking today? Ghar mein kaam nahin hai karne ke liye??
Seriously, its a man's job to support his home BUT if she sees him struggling...she shouldnt just let him slave away. She should help out even if she doesnt have to.
Who cares about the perception as long as your house and home are taken care of and husband is happy?
Seriously I have been unable to sleep, due to fat stomach, cant breathe at night, nose is blocked all night long, chesty coughs, cant take medic cos of preg, have been for walks, gone shopping, cleaned the fridge, cleaned the garden, cleaned the bedrooms, gone for walk again, applied for a million better jobs for hubbys, cooked a meal for tonight, and yes people have pissed me off today.....AND I WANT TO POST QUESTIONS, HOWEVER RIDICULOUS ON HERE, anyone denying a pregnant woman this right on GS........??????? fist shakinggggggggggggggggg***
If a man has a duty to work and support his family with his earnings then why do some women get really uptight about putting their earnings towards the household? Surely she lives there too so contributing towards it won't do her any harm.
Whatever my fiance is earning when we are married will not matter to me, if I'm working I'll be willing to offer 100% of my earnings towards any shared goals or duties that we have. And I know that he will do the same for me.
Seriously I have been unable to sleep, due to fat stomach, cant breathe at night, nose is blocked all night long, chesty coughs, cant take medic cos of preg, have been for walks, gone shopping, cleaned the fridge, cleaned the garden, cleaned the bedrooms, gone for walk again, applied for a million better jobs for hubbys, cooked a meal for tonight, and yes people have pissed me off today.....AND I WANT TO POST QUESTIONS, HOWEVER RIDICULOUS ON HERE, anyone denying a pregnant woman this right on GS........??????? fist shakinggggggggggggggggg***
One of my cousins told my MIL she is pleasantly surprised that I (a "westernized" ABCD) chose to stay at home with my child.
It just annoys me that my choice becomes some sort of political decision.
At the same time, I was SCARED to tell my coworkers that I wasn't coming back, for fear that they would look down on me. I think people understand, but it's weird to feel like you're making the wrong choice, no matter what you choose! So I just do what feels right for us. I'm home for now, but plan on returning to work once the kids are in school
do people get the impression here i talk alot...??
yes my poor husband.....poor guy, ISNT pregnant, ISNT having sleepless nights, ISNT fat and poorly ISNT hormonol, ISNT aching and ISNT vomiting every other day....POOR GUY....
I feel for you Nadz, I really do. But you have to understand that it's a big change for him too - I'm sure he doesn't like seeing you so unwell and uncomfortable.
Try keeping yourself busy with things that you enjoy doing - watch your favourite movies, prepare a baby book for baby once s/he comes along, keep a baby blog etc try to keep yourself as busy as possible.
If you can't sleep at night try having short naps during the day.
SHORT NAPS..ha, i tried to sleep for few hours other day and guess what i heard saara din soti rahogi,......from my mother.....grrrr
Don't take things to heart so much. Just explain to her that you don't manage to get enough sleep at night and that's why you like to have a nap during the day. Problem solved.
I personally would love to be a housewife.. Because my husband is a finishing his masters degree he only works in summer time and this arrangement worked out fine for us as I work full time and we earn enough to live a decent living. Even though it is a man's job to provide for his family I think we should give them a little break and be their support in hard times. I am willing to do my part to get him to a level where he can provide a decent living for his family and once that happens I know he wouldn't want me to work and focus on our family.
Wish you all the best in your pregnancy. You will be rewarded for this ordeal when you hold your baby in your arms. Trust me, you will forget all the pains of pregnancy when that happens (at least most of it).
However, please don’t feel your situation is unique and that your husband should be dumped on with negative feelings. Being pregnant is one of the most natural things for a woman. Some women don’t have the luxury of staying home when pregnant and have to toil till they deliver…this is not to say that you aren’t workig hard at home but at least you have the option to take walks and naps when you so desire. Keep that feeling in mind; it will help calm your attitude.
Regarding women’s income when they work…well here’s my take on it but if I am working, obviously I am going to come home when my husband does and expect him to help me around the home with the kids, cooking, errands, etc…Now it’s only fair that I contribute to the household income as well isn’t it? Why should I keep all my money yet expect that my entire household adjusts to my schedule but instead of increasing our quality of life we still depend on only my husband’s income for our expenses…and use mine for my personal treats. Not fair at all. Yes in Islam a woman can keep her income but why does Islam become so important only in matters of rights and not responsibilities?
Please don’t take offense to what I’ve written and I do apologize for that in advance…but I think you were looking for serious answers.
