What are some of the ways a couple could work on their marriage before they decide to call it a day?
For example:
Marriage Counselling with the Imaan of your Mosque
Professional Marriage Counselling
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Sadly those avenues are really not around for some people... Some places the only options you have is doggedly learning things the hard way or drowning.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I am big advocate of not only marriage counseling but more importantly **pre marriage **counseling before the nikkah is even read. Our Imam, who was a family friend and counseled my parents for years suggested it for us and it was such and smart building block for the foundation of our marriage. I wish more masjid and communities adopted this process.
Also, from experience, individual counseling for the husband and wife in conjunction with joint sessions are so important. Even after being married "x" amount of years, there are some issues and things you just don't feel comfortable saying directly to your spouse without help.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Sadly those avenues are really not around for some people... Some places the only options you have is doggedly learning things the hard way or drowning.
I know Dem.
And I find it sad that mosques are unable to deliver this very basic and fundamental need to their community but have time to rant and rave about jihad. :(
Working on your Marriage before Walking away…
^ so true :hinna:
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
c'mon peoples......you must have some ideas.....
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Family that plays together stays together.
Family that watch indian movies all day long, get fat...
Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I think also spending quality time together away from just worrying about bills and work etc can do wonders. Something as simple as taking up an activity or class together can help rekindle that spark
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I think if you have a mutual family member whose opinions you can both respect could be useful to talk to, if theres a lack of professional help.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
My parents counselled a couple in the neighborhood several times when we were in Pakistan. Since, they were just friends therefore the advice and suggestions were not considered bias and helped the couple.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Quality time together is extremely important and doesn't have to be anything expensive, it can be spending an evening on the lake.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Become counselors at the local masjid; hearing what others are going through will make you appreciate what you have.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Communicating with each other is very important. As mentioned above, not only about money and issues, but talking about each other wants and needs. Don't assume, but clear things out by talking and asking questions. Taking time off from the busy schlds. and relaxing. Learning to respects others needs. Compromising!!!
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Vent on GS; if you learn to ignore the 'noise' you get pretty good advice.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
so far, we have never needed counseling so i don't know personally how effective that is. for me, i don't see us ever getting to the point of needing help from outside to help our marriage. or maybe im not married long enough to encounter serious issues.. i think as long as you care about each other and not be selfish, marriage will workout just fine. when there is a disagreement or a fight, try to put yourself in their shoes and treat them the way you want to be treated. and i agree with the poster above, communication is very important.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
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Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I find something extremely disturbing, but I have witnessed it too many times to ignore it, when one spouse wants to take counseling but the other one doesnt want to . This creates such a huge block , but its a fact that sometimes when two people cant get each other to agree on things between them, a third , non biased view can help them so much.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I am big advocate of not only marriage counseling but more importantly **pre marriage **counseling before the nikkah is even read. Our Imam, who was a family friend and counseled my parents for years suggested it for us and it was such and smart building block for the foundation of our marriage. I wish more masjid and communities adopted this process.
Also, from experience, individual counseling for the husband and wife in conjunction with joint sessions are so important. Even after being married "x" amount of years, there are some issues and things you just don't feel comfortable saying directly to your spouse without help.
^ This.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
Counseling
Activities
Actually what Monk said makes almost as much sense as counseling...working out together is probably the best thing a couple can do for their relationship.
Re: Working on your Marriage before Walking away....
I actually never knew pre - marriage counselling was even offered in desi communities. But if it is that's great!
I feel like marriage counselling isn't something that people in Pakistan do unfortunately.. a lot of times it's advice from other couples or friends. It's hard to see though when only one partner is interested in getting help to save the marriage and the other isn't. I think that's when you kind of know the marriage is heading towards divorce.