Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
SAHM. When I first got married, I used to get a set cash amount every month to spend as I please. Bonuses on eid for shopping etc 
the amount increased as his salary increased/ our family grew as I would spend on the kids too. He took care of the rest of the expenses.
Now we just have a joint account and I spend as I please. I’d like to think I’m sensible when it comes to purchases so there’s no accountability. Shukr Alhumdulillah.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
That's the arrangement my parents have. So, no, not generalizing, there are some couples that choose to go this way.
That may be, but you can't say you SHOULD share your wealth just because you trust your spouse. And since you brought up children, look into the laws of inheritance in islam. So women (especially if they are earning) SHOULD keep their wealth separate from their husband's since the estate distribution rules in the shariah differ for men and women.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Of course there are men who are shady and really should make an effort to earn your trust but then there are also women who are just plain gold diggers. shrugs
At the end of the day it all comes down to the couple and their priorities.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
It depends upon the marriage and what the couple is comfortable with. No need to say, "What, You keep your money separate?" and belittle the person on this forum. Don't assume the husband does not like this arrangement, he may feel ok and happy to let his wife keep her money separate too. There is no need to get violent and say contribute or get ready to be beaten with a stick.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
That may be, but you can't say you SHOULD share your wealth just because you trust your spouse. And since you brought up children, look into the laws of inheritance in islam. So women (especially if they are earning) SHOULD keep their wealth separate from their husband's since the estate distribution rules in the shariah differ for men and women.
This is a good point. If you have significant assets, and the distribution of wealth at the time of death of the husband is that his brothers and sisters inherit that wealth...well you just handed YOUR wealth and inheritance as a woman to your sister in law and brother in law, something you don't need to be doing. Meanwhile if you died, because your wealth is in your husband's bank account, your sister/brothers/mom/dad would not get anything.
That's if you will do inheritance Islamic fashion. In the West, we can write wills, and do what we want with inheritance, so it can be different.
I still think that if a woman has significant assets, it's not a bad idea to keep things separate. Helps when you or your husband dies, the right people get the money they deserve.
In the West, Islamic laws are not upheld, so it's always a good idea to have a Will written, even if you're young. Designating who would get what after you die. You don't want your husband and his family to inherit everything and your living parents/siblings to not get anything.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
That's really sad.
Although, he shouldn't've gotten married if he has to have an adult male roommate eh?
That's not really sad. The wife shares the rent and everything. They are not desi, btw, which makes the arrangement a bit odd for me but they seem to be not bothered about it a bit. The wife earns a quarter of what the husband does.
I'm not their roommate, but share an apartment with them :P
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
This thread is not about being stupid and handing over every dime you make to your husband to control and do what he pleases with.
This thread is about JOINT assets of husband and wife where both enjoy the same freedoms.
Please don't mistake joining or combining of incomes to mean you're giving up control over your finances. It means you now have equal control over his too.
One thing I will say though in agreement with PCG is that when your incomes don't match (actually even when they do), its hard to trust someone with your money right away. This takes time and any partner should be willing to understand that. Most of the couples responding have been married for a while and have seen ups and downs of married life...meaning they've built trust and a relationship. Both parties know you're in this for good and there is no yours and mine...its ours.
You cannot expect your wife or husband to sign the Nikah papers and then hand over their checkbook to you.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
That's not really sad. The wife shares the rent and everything. They are not desi, btw, which makes the arrangement a bit odd for me but they seem to be not bothered about it a bit. The wife earns a quarter of what the husband does.
I'm not their roommate, but share an apartment with them :P
mmm sharing an apt = roommate.
And that Is sad she only earns a quarter of what he does but he still has her pitch in.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
^ I thought that's what 'equality' is all about, no?
He shares the household chores then. :D
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
That's not really sad. The wife shares the rent and everything. They are not desi, btw, which makes the arrangement a bit odd for me but they seem to be not bothered about it a bit. The wife earns a quarter of what the husband does.
I'm not their roommate, but share an apartment with them :P
That is an interesting definition you have of a roommate. If we go by your definition, it would be even more weirder if you were the roommate. :)
The guy seems frugal, but if a divorce takes place, he will pay through the nose. Just make sure she doesn't come after your assets, seeing that ya'll are calling it a 'household'.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
I'm more curious about a married couple sharing a home wth an unrelated male adult.
elaborate kakabilli
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
I'm more curious about a married couple sharing a home wth an unrelated male adult. elaborate kakabilli
unrelated, unmarried, Pakistani, Muslim male adult.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Elaborate some more plz
i just find it weird a mArried couple can't afford to live alone. Unless ur paying then rent which makes u their tenant...or they're paying you rent which makes u landlord.....neither of which is a roommate/flamate :p
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Elaborate some more plz
i just find it weird a mArried couple can't afford to live alone. Unless ur paying then rent which makes u their tenant...or they're paying you rent which makes u landlord.....neither of which is a roommate/flamate :p
Well, if a guy cannot afford a 'separate house', should he not get married?
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Well, if a guy cannot afford a 'separate house', should he not get married?
Separate thread!
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Well, if a guy cannot afford a 'separate house', should he not get married?
Separate from unrelated strangers, then no he shouldn't. :p
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
For all working couples, does any wife earn more than the husband? How do the marriage dynamics work then?
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
For all working couples, does any wife earn more than the husband? How do the marriage dynamics work then?
I do ... and ive already posted how it works for us.
I really dont understand why so many on this forum dont believe that there are many formats of successful marriages ... outside of the traditional one male earner or two-earner model, where wife must earn less.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
I do ... and ive already posted how it works for us. I really dont understand why so many on this forum dont believe that there are many formats of successful marriages ... outside of the traditional one male earner or two-earner model, where wife must earn less.
Same here. The money has never been an issue in our marriage. As frugal as I am, money has never been a concern for me. I can live on very little because I don't like waste of any sort. My husband likes to save but I just don't care either way.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Me and my hubby have a joint account but also our own personal accounts from before we were married.
Our joint account contains enough to manage our mortgage, car insurance, bills, etc.
My personal account and his are mostly used for other expenses and I try to save up for our future kids, and any emergencies. My husband does support his family back home financially as well, and sends money monthly back home to KHI from his personal account. I love that my husband is a big "saver" and likes to put money away for a rainy day. I was a big spender when I met him but now I'm really big on saving up for our future kids education.