Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
My flatmate charges his wife for her movie tickets and half of grocery bill.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Hey, each to their own but Islam isn't a buffet where you just pick and choose.
What about respecting husband? oh wait, that;s the part we're going to ignore.
This whole my money is my money, and husband money is our money is probably the saddest thing I've heard in me life.
no we dont ignore that part. husbands generally are greatly respected by their other halves.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Well these lands don't come under the general part. special folks live here.
no we dont ignore that part. husbands generally are greatly respected by their other halves.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Ethan, your posts are getting really boring. No one cares.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
:Dis it not possible that you follow or try to follow other things in Islam as well along with keeping your own money in your separate account?? suppose if you are following 2 good things according to Islam and you are not yet following the other 3 things, then should you stop following the 2 things you are following as well? makes no sense :)
No problem. I think i will start the naiki by having a harem with my own londis. halalified right? :)
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Ethan, your posts are getting really boring. No one cares.
I care. Ethan raises a good point. The women who only focus on these islamic rights, I'd love to see their response if their husbands start excercizing their rights.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
My flatmate charges his wife for her movie tickets and half of grocery bill.
That's really sad.
Although, he shouldn't've gotten married if he has to have an adult male roommate eh?
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Not every marriage is a walk in the park, not every relationship has trust, and not every guy can be trusted with money. Hence the provision provided to women in Islam, that they can keep their money separate. And it would contradict the premise that men are providors in Islam. They’re not providors if they’re snatching the money the girl’s DAD earned and passed to her in inheritance or the money she works to make.
That’s not exactly incompatible with the encouragement that funds should be shared, and there is more barkat in that. If you have a marriage where that’s do-able, great. Many of you have functional marriages, and sharing finances works.
But then there are marriages which are difficult, disasterous, guys are greedy, girl is feeding guys family, etc etc, and in those cases, Islam allows for a woman to excercise her right to protect herself.
It’s pretty just IMHO, but doesn’t mean that every woman should be keeping a separate account and forcing her husband to pay the bills while she blows her money on Gucci.
#commonsense](http://www.paklinks.com/gs/usertag.php?do=list&action=hash&hash=commonsense)
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
In other words if a woman feels like she needs to keep funds separate, don't hate on her for that.
The last guy - would have been coming from Pakistan, and I wasn't sure if he had a greedy side, and whether he was in it for the green card. So my premise was : my money stays separate in an account with my mom until we are together for a few years and there are kids, and we've earned each other's trust.
Meanwhile, other guys I've met and talked to, if things had gone forward with them, I think I'd have been ok with a joint account.
Depends on the guy, and the situation too.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
In other words if a woman feels like she needs to keep funds separate, don't hate on her for that.
The last guy - would have been coming from Pakistan, and I wasn't sure if he had a greedy side, and whether he was in it for the green card. So my premise was : my money stays separate in an account with my mom until we are together for a few years and there are kids, and we've earned each other's trust.
Meanwhile, other guys I've met and talked to, if things had gone forward with them, I think I'd have been ok with a joint account.
Depends on the guy, and the situation too.
Agreed 100%!
It seems everyone here on GS guys and girls included seem to mind if a woman wants to exercise her Islamic right to keep her money separate and not spend on the household.
We have tons of women coming in here saying they share their money with their husbands etc. and contribute to household expenses and say "WHY WOULDN'T I DO IT?"
If you WANT to do that, that is great. If that is how things work in YOUR family and you and your husband are happy with that situation than that is just dandy, but PLEASE do not hate on women that make their own money and keep it in a separate account and choose not to spend on their families because their husbands are already taking care of that.
Perhaps their husbands make very good money and do not NEED their wives' money and actually WANT her to keep it for herself and be free to do whatever she wants with it. OR perhaps the relationship is rocky and there isn't much trust and the hubby isn't very good with money like PCG mentioned, so in this case she should have a right to keep her money separate.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
oh wow wow
Islam isn't only about women keeping money in their separate accounts, there are a lot of things to it as well or is it the only thing about islam that you like?
I like lots of things about Islam...but this is one of them and since this thread is simply about spending money between a couple...its fair to assume we'll only be talking about this topic.
Common sense ain't so common, is it?
Okay so the bit about respecting husband and him excersizing his rights...why does it sound so brutal? Is it necessary that it all be a struggle? Is it possible that respect is being given and these husbands are willingly pooling their money with their wives because they feel good about it?
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
If Islam forced women to financially contribute, people would be complaining about that.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
I like lots of things about Islam...but this is one of them and since this thread is simply about spending money between a couple...its fair to assume we'll only be talking about this topic.
Common sense ain't so common, is it?
Okay so the bit about respecting husband and him excersizing his rights...why does it sound so brutal? Is it necessary that it all be a struggle? Is it possible that respect is being given and these husbands are willingly pooling their money with their wives because they feel good about it?
Those husbands are great, that respect your income and respectfully and responsibly manage it with you.
Not all guys are such gems, just sayin'. Their women have the right to protect themselves.
I've seen girls get tossed out on the road by their husbands and they have zero zilch, because income is with hubby and he takes it from her. I've seen guys walk away with alimony in divorce settlements.
In my case, the guy I nearly married was planning on investing my income in business ventures, and it was making me uneasy.
There are guys out there that you cannot give your $$ to. Thank God Islam has a provision for this.
Would be nice if some ladies stopped strutting around about how great their marriage is and how they are such holy moral creatures for pooling their money with their spouses.
It's great if you hand your hubby your 40K when he earns 200K, and he still takes care of you. Different if you hand some punk your 200K, and he squanders it on bad investments in "bijness".
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
Those husbands are great, that respect your income and respectfully and responsibly manage it with you.
Not all guys are such gems, just sayin'. Their women have the right to protect themselves.
I've seen girls get tossed out on the road by their husbands and they have zero zilch, because income is with hubby and he takes it from her. I've seen guys walk away with alimony in divorce settlements.
In my case, the guy I nearly married was planning on investing my income in business ventures, and it was making me uneasy.
There are guys out there that you cannot give your $$ to. Thank God Islam has a provision for this.
Would be nice if some ladies stopped strutting around about how great their marriage is and how they are such holy moral creatures for pooling their money with their spouses.
It's great if you hand your hubby your 40K when he earns 200K, and he still takes care of you. Different if you hand some punk your 200K, and he squanders it on bad investments in "bijness".
-___- Has it ever occurred to you that it's not about the money? I am sure the wives who do hand over 200k of their hard earned don't think their husbands are punks... And just because a wife is is handing over her salary doesn't mean she must make less than her husband. It's not really handing over, it's called sharing.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
There are guys out there that you cannot give your $$ to. Thank God Islam has a provision for this.
Would be nice if some ladies stopped strutting around about how great their marriage is and how they are such holy moral creatures for pooling their money with their spouses.
PCG - its good that you didn't marry him then.
Thank God and move on.
Khalas.
For the ladies who you speak of...they are not strutting around doing anything. They're simply responding to this thread and maybe reflecting over their situation a bit...thinking Alhumdulillah. And why should you not?
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
If you have a great husband that you can trust, then you SHOULD share the wealth. Indeed, why not? It's all going to your kids anyway, so what's the difference if it's in one account or separate accounts?
Problems come in when you can't trust your spouse. With arranged marriages, there are inevitably women being married to idiots. You can't hand some people money and expect that good will happen.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
The way it's working for us is that we use Mr. Siren's salary for all our expenses and leisure. He earns really well alhamdolillah so we rarely need to dip into my salary. My salary all goes into my savings account which I'm planning to use for any big expenses that may come up and for when we decide to settle down and buy a house. The bulk of my savings from before marriage is sitting in a separate account which is under my mom's name. I love and trust my husband fully, but this was a precautionary measure that I was encouraged to take by friends and family.
I agree with Theorist on that it shouldn't be considered a bad thing for the wife to contribute financially towards the household if needed. It's true that islamically speaking, it is the husband's responsibility to take care of all her expenses as well as the various household expenses, but the wife should also be understanding if for whatever reason he isn't able to do so. There is something really wrong with a wife who can ignore her husband's needs all because she would like to hoard her own money.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
If you have a great husband that you can trust, then you SHOULD share the wealth. Indeed, why not? It's all going to your kids anyway, so what's the difference if it's in one account or separate accounts?
Problems come in when you can't trust your spouse. With arranged marriages, there are inevitably women being married to idiots. You can't hand some people money and expect that good will happen.
You're generalizing...I'm starting to see that's a trend with you. There are some husbands (like mine) who would prefer that I keep my money separate. He considers it his responsibility to take care of my expenses. I see nothing wrong with that. and that has nothing to do with trust.
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
with my fiance, we made an agreement that half of what we earn each goes into a join account from which all HH and personal expenses will go. a third of the other half goes to a joint saving account...and whatever is left is separate. we can share or not. no one should mind.
And all this regardless of who earns what..
lets see if we can stick by this planning
Re: Working Moms/SAHM/Wives/Financially Independent Women
You're generalizing...I'm starting to see that's a trend with you. There are some husbands (like mine) who would prefer that I keep my money separate. He considers it his responsibility to take care of my expenses. I see nothing wrong with that. and that has nothing to do with trust.
That's the arrangement my parents have. So, no, not generalizing, there are some couples that choose to go this way.