Share your experience how your mom’s decision to “stay at home” or “work towards a career” shaped you as an inidivdual.
Do you wish she spent more time with you? Do you wish that she knew more about the “world” around her to make better descisions etc.
Seeing her world, what would you like to do differently about yours/ raising your kids. OR nothing at all.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
My mom was home with us kids. I LOVED that. She was always there for us and that was so very comforting.
The only thing I would do differently, the only thing I'd instill in a daughter if I were so blessed....would be that she should be college educated and have a bit of work/world experience before having her own children. So that if the need should ever arise, she would be able to take care of her family and also have her family feel more secure with that in mind.
If my mom had lost my dad when we were young, it would have been very difficult. She'd likely have had to start dating in the hope of finding a new husband. So that can be a worry yeah?
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
My mom was home with us. She worked from home - baby-sitting like tons of kids. It was really comforting to have mom around when I came back from school and later work.
Although my mom worked from home - when I look back - I wished she had the opportunity to work outside of home.
She is a very active person - loves to keep up with the house / cleaning / dawats / planting etc.
Because she was always home she never learned how to drive. She realizes that for simple doctor's appointment, she has to have one of us drive her there, be there for translation etc.
This can be inconvenient to have your kids tell personal problems to the doctor and have it translated back.
So yes I wished she had the opportunity to be able to be independent and be able to drive and communicate with others in English. She could have been independent if she had the opportunity to step out in to the real world...
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
:)
well my mom worked for a while but when she realized that she hardly gets time frm job plus house chores to spend with us kids..... she quit her wrk and stayed with us.... and i think that was a sacrifize she did for us.....she gave up her career for the sake of ours ....
me n my hubby already decided that i am gona work rit now but when insallah we gona start our family i am gona stay home.... i think mom can play a very important role in making her kid's foundation strong... specially in the society in which we live in these days its very importatn that parents spend more time with kids than earning money....
i have seen families in which both parents work for the kids but they forget how much time they r spending with kids and how involved they r with kids..... they r so tired and worn out by the time they get home that they hardly have time for kids after doing cooking cleaning plus preparing for nxt day....
But the thing is if a women wants to have career she can have it after her kids are all grown up.....as for my mom, she started her own property business with her sister 4 years ago, her sister's kids are still young so the patnership didnt last long and now my mom is own her own but masallah she is doing perfectly fine......
which reminds me of a pakistani drama "libaas" last week's episode was based on this issue.... u guys should watch it
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
I am "work from home" dad from last year or so and loving every minute of it with my almost 3 years old princes!!
My wife stayed home with our first child and now she is completing her training/education but now I realize what did I miss in our first kid's early years.
Although mostly I have to work late night and sometime it gets me, but all of the tiredness go away when my princes say
"baba can I bana k laoo chaie for you?"
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
my mum was a stay-home mum till i was about 6.. then we moved to aus and about 7-8 months later, she started work.
Her timings were such that she'd go before we woke up and be back a lil after we got back frmo school.. like maybe around 4.30-5ish..
that gave us kids to clean up and look a lil presentable for mum to come home to.
My mum and me (and my siblings) are really close. We can pretty much tell mum anything. We treat her like a friend rather than a mum.. and she's pretty much been the way since i hit my teen years.
If i had to change anything, Id wish my mum had gotten an education, like maybe in OZ so she wouldnt be so naive... and that maybe we had a home-help.. like someone who would come once a week and clean the house for her.
Mums worked very hard alongside dad to give us the life that we have. My dad has done so much for us as well and he couldnt have without the support of my mum and vice versa.
Us first generation migrants should be thankful to our parents. Thankful for the sacrifices they have made to get us to where we are now. Where they took about 7-8 years to finally get a "nice" car after years of no car or a "bomb", we are forunate enough to be able to get it before marriage.. we should honestly thank Allah for giving us such guardians... they are almost guardian angels i'd say
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
my mother was lecturer at girl's college in Lahore.. her timing was such that when i had to go to school, she had to leave for college.. and when i used to get back home...she was already home... and ofcourse it didnt affect me in any way.
but when we came to Canada.. she started having heart problem , to an extent that she had to go through heart transplantation.. ever since then she stayed home and dont really care whats goin on around her... most of her day starts and ends in kitchen..
my mum worked till i was about 14. i remember when she finally quit me and my siblings were very happy. although i was close to my mum while she was working . she always says motherhood is a life time job.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
My mom stayed at home, and finally started working when we were in college. She is a great mom, and we kids certainly did benefit from her time at home. But I do wish she had started working earlier. But at that time my dad was very much against it (even though we were in high school) so my mom got discouraged. MashAllah my mom has progressed so much in the last few years and sometimes I wonder what heights she could have reached if my dad wasn't so discouraging.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
I would like to be home with the kids for the first 2-3 years (if we can afford it), and then return to work part time if possible.
My mother was at home with us until I was about 10-11 (when my youngest brother entered school full time). I really appreciated this. She feels guilty that my youngest brother didn't get the kind of attention we did.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
my mom is a stay at home mom n like many others has made so many sacrifices for me n my siblings n i thank Allah for giving me the most loving n caring parents
i think i am who i am becuz of my parents
my mom always wanted me n my sibs to get an education becuz she never had the opportunity
now i encourage her to learn more n shes finally gettin her license
ill miss her soo much wen i get married......God why do daughters have to leave there parents....
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
Didnt had a mom. Our mom asked our dad to take us to Pakistan when I was 5 and my sisters were 2.5 and 1.5. Had no contact with her for 19 years until I came back to US and looked her up.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
^That must have been really tough on your mom as well as you kids. Why you were not in touch for so long? (sorry if I'm getting too personal - you do not have to answer).
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
Actually from what she has told us is it wasnt too hard on her but it was hell for us. She didnt contact us at all and wasnt in touch with my dad. I had to hire a PI to look her up.
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
My mom is a physican. So we had time when we was working a lot and when she would take a leave for about 5 years or so to chill with us kids.
Now that all her kids are married and live in different states - I am happy that she had a career and she still practices till this day.
It did teach all us brothers and sisters about hard work and kept us motivated to have a career.
She was an excellent role model for keeping a balance in life.
Actually from what she has told us is it wasnt too hard on her but it was hell for us. She didnt contact us at all and wasnt in touch with my dad. I had to hire a PI to look her up.
...Wow.
Us first generation migrants should be thankful to our parents. Thankful for the sacrifices they have made to get us to where we are now. Where they took about 7-8 years to finally get a "nice" car after years of no car or a "bomb", we are forunate enough to be able to get it before marriage.. we should honestly thank Allah for giving us such guardians... they are almost guardian angels i'd say
Very good point,
My mum and Dad both worked very hard to get us where we are today....
But then i suppose we as kid's back then didnt relize tht, i always used to think why we wearnt like the rest of the white kids back in school. but now as a adult looking back in hind-sight i am truely greatful to them....
Re: Working Mom or Stay at home mom?
My Mum nd Dad both worked for us.As dad was abroad nd we wiv mum in pk and had no bro.So Mum was single parent,but she looked aftr all of us v well and gav us education nd gud teaching. But i wish if my mum could be lil more educated thn we shouldnt suffer in some steps of life--
Now we moved in uk still they worked 4 us.My mum is v great lady i respect her and also dad who earned fame by his hard work.I m v grateful 2 them they done v hard job 4 us.May they live long 4 us alwys--Insha_Allah!!!