Do you think men should work?
How much time do you wish for the man in your life, ladies, to dedicate towards family (i.e. time that he’s not working or pampering himself).
Responses from ladies is what I’d like to see, especially ladies who are man-hunting or will be man-hunting. Men can respond if they wish.
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
Yes, I want my man to work. I think 4-5 hrs in the evening is good.
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
its not how much time he spends.. but HOW he spends it… cleaning the house together or him peeling aloos whilst i make roti is not quality time spent 
or maybe it is if we both have a busy lifestyle…
newly weds may say “hai allah nahi.. anytime with each other is great fun”
new parents may probably say “changing diapers and cleanin up mess is enough family time spent!!” …
I think the meaning of “time with family” changes we we progress through married life.. will never stay the same…
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
Okayyy, back to ur question…
Yes i think men shud work, if they’re healthy to do so.
I think the time dedicated towards family etc. shud be 50/50 if possible, otherwise as much as both partners can do…
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ok,there is my answer…relationships takes a time and its how burning fire-u need keep it by putting something wooden.if not u ll lose ur fire.but in nowdays it just not possible 2 be all the time with ur family and ur partner.so yeah,i want my man to give me at least 1 day per week or every night…thats all.and yes i want men 2 work as well.
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I don't think guys should work. Instead, like the lions they should rest and hang around all day long while the lioness(es) go out to get food, rare the children and stuff. Aren't we the kings???
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Ideally, whatever time he has when he isn’t at the office should be spent with me and the family … and vice versa. I don’t want a man who works from 7:00 a.m. until 9:00 p.m. I want to be able to have dinner with my husband (at 6:00 p.m. :halo: ) and relax in the evenings with him. I wouldn’t mind him occassionally bringing work home, but it would be a problem if it was a constant occurrence. As for the rest of it, I agree with Khawa. How a person spends their time is important and it is constantly changing depending on your circumstances.
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
Kaleem, in a way, ahmadjee's response does relate to the topic at hand which is why it remains in place. PCG requested posts which are on topic only, and yours were not which is why they were removed. I trust you won't digress this thread any further. :)
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
Ms Qureshi, you have unreal expectations. What about his space? HaiN? Why is it always me me me with you girls, kabhi uss ghareeb ka bhi khayal kar liya karo bibio.
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But Ashtray, from all I hear from guys here in topics like "should women work" is that a woman should be dedicating her time to her house-life...
So why is it unreasonable for a female to ask that her husband or soon-to-be-husband make it a point to make quality family time and make it to dinner on time?
After all, there are lots of jobs out there that require over-time and involve men coming home from work at 10 or 11 or midnight at night. Is this healthy for the family?
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
The idea of marriage is not to suffocate your spouse's life. Whatever time you spend with your husband should be high in 'quality' (not necessarily in quantity).
My cousin is a doctor..he visits hospital at odd times. His wife could have made his life miserable if she wanted to...but there are 'understanding' couples out there.. who make the relationships work.. keeping in mind the realities of their careers. You give me 3 hours ..I will give you 3.5 in return is childish and idiotic...who in his right mind wants to get into that kinda fuss.
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
^ Is it really about 3 hours in return for 3.5 hours? Or is it about the time spent with the children. Yes, quality time is important.
But is 1 hour of quality time enough each day?
I'll provide an example. Husband comes home after first job. Sees kids for 15 minutes to 30 minutes. In this time, he changes his clothes, gets a snack, maybe takes a quick dunk in the shower. Then heads off to job number 2. Then comes home for dinner around 8 o'clock, which the family has together. One hour spent during dinner and dinner talk. Children are asked how school was. Then he goes off to job number 3 and comes home at night, at which point he is yelling at the kids to get into bed and not pull all-niters studying.
Same pattern on the weekend.
Is this healthy? Yes, this is a real-life example.
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
Your initial question was whether men should work. The answer is yes
Your second question was how much time should they dedicate to the family. The answer is they should dedicate as much quality time as they can.
You thrid scenario, although a real life one, is an extreme. If a guy is doing three jobs then I'm sure it isn't for the fun of it. If it's a choice between feeding the children or giving them time then that's where good wives step up and help in raising decent children or helping with the cash flow. It is supposed to be a team of two and it should be taken as such.
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hai allah Fayz mian.. aap kitnay mature hogaye ho
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
You know AJ, those lioness(es) don’t complain. Also, they work as a team Lions usually hunt at night and in groups and mostly for the big animals. Females do it for thier lion husband so that they can keep their pride.
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pcg - i see men who dont work and to be honest with you if they dont work they do go crazy.
Yeah i would expect him to work definately... i refuse to feed someone. I do want a healthy living standard. Inshallah i will be working as well and as i have always said. Two people are in it together. It takes 2 to make a baby then it should take 2 to raise them as well.
This is what i am hoping for and already told him :D - Getup in the morning if i am making nashta he has to make sure kids are ready to go to school meaning waking them up and getting them dressed with school bags on. On the way back i will pick the kids up from my ami's house. When he comes back from work inshallah we will have tea and he will help the kids with homework and vaccum the entire house from top to bottom. Everyone will pick up their stuff kids will be doing the same thing. In the mean time i will make sure there is delicous dinner ready for everyoen to eat. After eating i will play with the kids and he will make sure kitchen is clean. I hate anything on the counters. It has to be spotless.
On weekends we have to go for morning walk husband and wife should spend quality time together as well. I will wake the kids up while he is making nashta and coffee. We must take kids out inshallah on saturdays some where. And inshallah atleast 1 night out just me and him once a month no matter what happens even if we have 4 kids. i don't plan on going over 2 inshallah. If he wants home made food he better chop the onions tomatos etc. I don't know how to make roti and i dont plan on making them either. If he wants hath ki roti he can go to his sas's place. I dont know making roti doesnt seem like fun. I Thank those ready made parathas people ------ they taste yummy.
I will not be making dinner on friday at all. I like to watch tv and stay up late at night. Kids can get their movie and we can watch ours. Order out atleast once a week. I cant cook twice a day either. So on weekends he would have to do something.
I think if two people have good understanding they can live a very healthy life. Man should not think woman is below him and woman should not disrespect him at all.
I will not ask for permission where i am going and why am i going. I hate it when i hear husband asknig their wives that question. I will tell you where i am going and if i want i will give you the reason. I do expect the same from you. You are going to sears okay fine but why let me know as well.
those kids wont just be mine i do expect him to be there atleast once month for kids practice games etc. I am so not in to sports so he would have to do that part. reading bed time stories isnt my job only...
If you want me to respect your mama and your dad you better do the same for my parents. Mashallah i have to give it to him on this one totally. He keeps my mom laughing and releases her stress. My aba ji could be pretty you know what but he dosent say a word...... I think this is love.... and we dont even live together yet...*
Kids will be on bed early latest 9 so we can spend atleast 2 hrs of quality time together..... I know he will make sure we have that time....
i am tired of typing now...*
Re: Working Dads/Husbands
^ now that’s the kind of unconditional love boys do not hesitate to commit to. 
p.s Sunshine 
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Nia!!! 
Am I to be your second wife then??? :o
Congratulations on the engagement/marriage/whatever u pple have done as of yet 
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pcg nikhafied :D he is still under training... once he graduates.. we will do shadi :D
until then you are the first one theek hai
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I want my husband out of the house. Please no more football!! He's happy at work, very productive and busy. He comes home at dinner time and goes to the gym. Then he eats and we spend quality time together. He has weekends free too. This routine works out well. I don't need him around all the time. He would go totally bonkos if he didn't work or he'd just be sleeping all the time.