NIA: dil na tor na if most of what you just said doesn't happen... you say u dont like to take orders.. lekin ure giving them out left right and centre... what will happen when he does overtime, or gets very very busy at work and comes home late .. khana phir kaun pakayega? and what if he comes home late every weeknight? u'll be cookin consecutively for not 2 days but 5... i dont think you can go into marriage with preconceived ideas as to what it better be like.. you will have to take each day as it comes.. and will havta be A LOT more flexible than you are being right now (which is zilch) .. its nice and an ideal way to spend ure married life how ou have described it.. but hey.. u know what they say.. "lifes a biatch" ... will you handle it kicking and screaming.. or wisely with understanding, when things dont go as you dreamed they would?
^nia thats so boring though! Wheres the sponteneousness(sp, dont even know if thats a word) Whats the fun in all this? I dont need to put my guy on a schedule i know he will help if he wants some, food that is.
#1 no this is not healthy.appears that he is not getting support from his wife
I am assuming that the guy in question would rather not work 3 jobs unless he had to, could be financial commitments and needs of teh family, or even extended family.
so here are the possible solutions
the family learn to live with less so the guy does not have to do 3 jobs.
Thw wife decides to work or do something even babysitting or child day care at home so maybe he does not have to work 3 jobs
the wife makes up for the time that he is unable to spend with his family. If he is scarificing hsitime with family or time that he could spend for hobbies, then surely the wife can pick up a litle more responsibility in raising kids.
In the example that you have provided, it appears that the guys cares about the family, he could probably have more time if he just took a snack with him and change of clothes and not come home between job 1 and job 2. same goes for spending an hour at dinner time spending time with family and catching up with everyone’s daily routines.
sorry to say but if he comes back late night and the kids are still up past their bed time and pulling all nighters, this is something that the kids and the wife should manage. if they are old nuff then they should understand the wishes of their father who appears tohave no personal life for their better future, if they are not old nuff to understand this then its the duty of the other person in this marriage to try and fill the gaps that are present because of lack of time on the husband’s part.
the kids should friggin press his legs and give him champee after he has put in such a long day and then go straight to bed.
pcg about husband working 2 jobs. I don't ask for things that i can't buy. I will not even wish for them or even go window shopping thats my nature. If i want something and i have money in my pocket thats the only time i will be in mall.
I would have no problem if he is stuydying and working at the same time for few months. The purpose for wife to work is that there are 2 incomes coming if 1 is not enough. I will smack the crap out of my kids if they stay up after 9 on weekends till 10. I think that woman is probably some paindu woman who doesnt know how to balance a family.
khawateen - Allah har kisi ko us ki kimat ka deta hai... he listens to me. I do know my limits he is pretty easy going compare to me. He is type of a person who won't say if there isnt enough namak in khana. I guess he knows my answer i will spimply go get up and get some on your on.
khawateen - marriage is a beautiful thing if both people have understanding and there was love prior to shadi ;). Believe me it makes heck of a difference. Yeah i am a very strong character girl i refuse to raise my husband meaning clean after himself i am not doing it. If he does hire a maid. I wasn't just born to do house chores and run after kids. Don't get me wrong i would love to do it but to a limit. I am nia and i want people to know me as nia not as so and so's wife. that should come later. i think he has said once in past 2 yrs tht i got on his nerves... and i say it every month probably lol..
A strong women very rarely claims the title. People see it and acknowledge it. In your case,
it sounds like your husband agrees with the mechanical life style that you have presented. Don't be surprised if he 'speaks up' after marriage. Mark my words :-) God bless you both and hopefully you will grow out of your present state.
Dude there's a reason why the two of you (nia and you) didn't end up together :-P. We all have different needs based on our own unique personalities when it comes to choosing a life partner.What works for you may not for others and vice versa. If nia and her husband are happy with whatever understanding they have between them in tune with their expectations of each other , who are we to tell her to "grow out of her present state", as if there's something wrong with her? It's like you are suggesting that people who hold such views dont deserve to be happy. Or even if they are,by some miracle that is, it's going to be short lived anyway when frankly, you are in no position to make that judgement or prediction for that matter. Infact it should be none of your business to begin with.
I actually applaud that nia had the guts to make it very clear to her honey wala how she feels and what she expects. It would have been a lot worse to play the typical desi decieving game : make it seem like you are Allah mian ki Baqri - all almond-eyes and innocent and ready to lick her husband’s feet - and then …
