Re: Women's Second Marriage!
i think this is due to follwing two factors.
Low knowledge of islam, as islam requires that we should show more urgency in remarraige of widows
and the jahiliyat/taboo of polygamy as some thing not good.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
i think this is due to follwing two factors.
Low knowledge of islam, as islam requires that we should show more urgency in remarraige of widows
and the jahiliyat/taboo of polygamy as some thing not good.
Yeah but Islam also requires the widow's consent before remarriage. And though I am not a woman I also know that most widows generally don't like getting remarried, because they still love their husbands and they don't want a step dad for their kids.
And before trying to promote polygamy as a solution of society's ills, why don't we encourage men to marry divorcees and widows when single, just like the Prophet(saw) married twice widowed Khadijah (ra) as his only wife when he was a virgin of 25.
Why do Muslim men attach so much importance to virginity? Its ridiculous in Arab countries where they have 'bride prices'for virgins. They even display blood cloths after the marriage is consummated just to prove the girl is virgin. This attitude should change before we change our attitude to polygamy.
Polygamy is neither good or bad. But it usually hurts the first wife and het kids. Its effects on the kids are worse. For instance in Malaysia 90% of the kids in polygamous marriages polled were against it, comparred to only 66% of the first wives(search this on google).
And please check the gender statistics. Men outnumber women in every age group except 60+.
And its funny, wherever there is a surplus of women, everyone is so concerned and start encouraging men to take more wives.
But when the situation is reversed no one seems to care about the excess men.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
I am not trying to be insensitive here but I am going to have to tell it like it is:
Your mom and dad need to say NO to their demands for jahaz.
Buying these things now means for the rest of they will keep getting emotionally blackmailed so their daughter doesn’t end up divorced. You’re not helping your sister if you guys allow this to continue. You’re sending her into a family that will never value her or respect her - just the stuff she bought with her. Well what happens once that stuff is gone, finished and used up? There will be more demands…more angry requests…more subtle hints.
Say NO and if the husband bolts - let him. Its better than him bolting after children.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
My parents said noo
and now they r threatning with talaak
Its not that they have no money orso…they are very wealthy but somehow they r showing their kameengi :s
So plz pray key talaak na ho… Cuz i know my sis n her husband… He will do nythin for her… But i dont know what he will do when parents put him under pressure 
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
Whatever happens, happens for the best.
Pray that jo bhi ho…behteri ke liye ho.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
You are contradicting yourself here… If he can do anything for ur sis, why would he give her a talaak then?
Also, if he will leave his wife because his parents are greedy, then ur sis is better off without him.
I dislike how you are hoping the talaak won’t happen. If ur sis’s hubby would be man enough and stick by her, then it won’t. But if he sticks with his parents, then why would you guys want to push her into that hell?
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
The fact that you’re not 100% sure that the husband will stand by his wife if/when his parents pressure him to divorce her is sad. Do you and your parents really want your sister to spend the rest of her life with a man who (along with his family) has such little respect for her? Doesn’t your sister deserve better?
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
Whatever happens, happens for the best.
Pray that jo bhi ho...behteri ke liye ho.
Ameen!!! Thats a true point... But on the other hand.... When i see my sis cryin... I cant stand it
But plz do keep her/my fam in ur prayer... Key allah joh bhi karrey humarey haq meyn behtr ho...
You are contradicting yourself here… If he can do anything for ur sis, why would he give her a talaak then? Also, if he will leave his wife because his parents are greedy, then ur sis is better off without him. I dislike how you are hoping the talaak won't happen. If ur sis's hubby would be man enough and stick by her, then it won't. But if he sticks with his parents, then why would you guys want to push her into that hell?
True... But the influence of his elder sister and mother are huge... N agreed if he chooses for his parents... His loss...allah hi behtr karrey humarey liye... Do pray plz
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
^ Inshallah. I hope everything works out for you guys.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
Ameen!!! Thats a true point... But on the other hand.... When i see my sis cryin... I cant stand it
But plz do keep her/my fam in ur prayer... Key allah joh bhi karrey humarey haq meyn behtr ho...
True... But the influence of his elder sister and mother are huge... N agreed if he chooses for his parents... His loss...allah hi behtr karrey humarey liye... Do pray plz
Of course she will cry. No one likes the idea of talaak even if you hate your husband. Its hard but remember anything worth having is also worth fighting for. If her husband loves her...he will figure this out.
Have you ever heard of greedy inlaws that actually kept their DIL happy after marriage? Kabhi suna hai? Not me.
Just stand firm and do not give them things...agay jo Allah swt chahte hein vohi hoga. Don't worry and just be there for your sister. She will need you. Be strong for her so she feels strong. :)
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
^ Inshallah. I hope everything works out for you guys.
In Shaa Allah!!
Of course she will cry. No one likes the idea of talaak even if you hate your husband. Its hard but remember anything worth having is also worth fighting for. If her husband loves her...he will figure this out.
Have you ever heard of greedy inlaws that actually kept their DIL happy after marriage? Kabhi suna hai? Not me.
Just stand firm and do not give them things...agay jo Allah swt chahte hein vohi hoga. Don't worry and just be there for your sister. She will need you. Be strong for her so she feels strong. :)
I know... But okay when the guy comes here... He wonb influenced that much from.his parents..... Is waqt 24/7 woh apni behen en waldain key saatg hey so easily un ki vaton meyn ajaye gha...
Once in uk ... He wont be havin that much contact.. So issues can b handled easily by the couple itself.
No mum and dad neyn saaf inkaar kardiya hey... So ab Allah pak key agey duwa hi karni baqi hey...
My mum s scared that my sis wont get married easily.... Not everyone is kindhearted towards women/ young girls in these kind of circumstances (afsos)
Allah pak apna fazal farmaye and hum per apni rehmat ata farmaye Ameen
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
Sup SL!. I pray to Allah SWT to resolve matter related to ya're sis. Ya're sis going through tough test.
As for the topic yo..aight this is what i think. Second marriage for women is tough but not impossible. And i have seen it around me. And as for the ppl who are negative and judgemental about women who has gone such experience..i say don't pay attention to them. Do what is right according to our religion.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
In Shaa Allah!!
I know... But okay when the guy comes here... He wonb influenced that much from.his parents..... Is waqt 24/7 woh apni behen en waldain key saatg hey so easily un ki vaton meyn ajaye gha...
Once in uk ... He wont be havin that much contact.. So issues can b handled easily by the couple itself.
No mum and dad neyn saaf inkaar kardiya hey... So ab Allah pak key agey duwa hi karni baqi hey...
My mum s scared that my sis wont get married easily.... Not everyone is kindhearted towards women/ young girls in these kind of circumstances (afsos)
Allah pak apna fazal farmaye and hum per apni rehmat ata farmaye Ameen
Your mum should be more concerned about her daughter's married life than simply getting her married.
What is the point of marriage if she's not happy? Is se behtar hai ke ghar mein maa baap ke saat khush rahay na?
Inshallah, all will be well. Leave this to Allah swt.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
Here we go again. Yet another installment on the ubiquitous *"aurat kay liey shaadi karna kitna mushkil' * rona dhona.
I cannot even begin to dissect the fallacies in the OP's rant. All I can suggest to her is...
1) Try not being so blinded by the female perspective.
2) There is a world outside the arranged marriage afflicted Pakistani society.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
Before accusing me of any evil please note that at anytime, the number of women in society are greater than number of men, and with divorce issue, there will be more women waiting for marriage or remarriage. When second marriage of man becomes impossible then divorced women will have less chance of remarrying when virgin/unmarried women are present in large numbers.
That is utter bollocks that some Mullah's propagate. The population of women does not exceed that of men. If you stopped listening to Zakir Na-layak and cared to do some research you'd have known that the worldwide sex ratio at birth is 107 males to every 100 females born, which equalizes later on as males mortality rate is slightly higher. In any case the difference is too negligible to cause any effect on the marriage marketplace.
So my friend, you'd have to come up with another explanation to why there are more women desperate for marriage than there are men.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
I hardly have interest in Zakir Naiks… but this has been the trend through out the history and even in developed world or where people are not desperate for sons.
Europe, North America, South America, Africa, Central America and the Caribbean have more female population than male. For example in North America there are around 5 million more females than male and in Europe that number rises to 27million. You can check it for all countries and continents at North America - ?urrent population of North America | Sex ratio in North America
But when you include China and India in to mix the equation changes, but that is unnatural practice that they following by getting rid of baby early by gender determination.
AND the world side sex ratio is not what you quote… still after including china and india its 101 males to 100 female according to UN as of August 2012.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
Wrong. Its more males than females in every age category EXCEPT aged 60+.
How many Muslims are there in South America and Latin America.
Overall, in most Muslim countries, there are MORE men than women. Only in the. 60+ age category is there any surplus of women.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
In Saudi Arabia, Afghanistan, Pakistan and most other Muslim countries the men outnumber women. And only in the 60+ age category are there any extra women.
Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
Here are some reliable statistics including from the UN.
http://unstats.un.org/unsd/demographic/products/indwm/Dec.%202012/1a.xls
GeoHive - Male / Female distribution
so yeah there are MORE men han women. Yet another pro-polygamy argument goes down the drain.
Re: Women's Second Marriage!
To deny that our pakistani society looks down upon divorced women is just ignoring the big phat pink tranny elephant in the room.