Women's Second Marriage!

[Captain_Obvious]

Re: Women’s Second Marriage!

@SaeedinPakistan

As Captain Obvious said the odds of her getting hitched through the arranged route are slim. Comparing two girls, one who already has kids vs one who has none. The one with kids means a lot more responsibility, financial and otherwise. It’s not like the guy will give up on having his own kids with her. So if he wants 3 kids and there are the wife’s 2. These are a lot of kids, and they’ll cost money.

It’s not just about the society making assumptions. There are some practical reasons too,for avoiding someone who already has kids.

@Desire007

Unfortunately in the desi community a large handful of people frown upon a divorced woman. This is wrong since we see that in most desi divorce cases men and the man’s parents are to blame. In too many cases the poor women are at no fault, yet it becomes difficult for them to remarry. If only a man knew how much of a blessing it is to marry a heart broken women. Not only that but to keep a heart broken woman happy beyond her dreams. In Islam and other religions we r taught to alleviate the pain of others. Instead of men marrying women 10 years younger than them they should consider marrying divorced women of their own age. I personally see that in society people are after very young girls who have not even finished their education. Then the elder women remain single.

Without even getting into judging or frowning upon a divorced woman, I don’t see most guys wanting to marry a girl who already has kids as a responsibility. When there is an option of a girl who doesn’t have that extra responsibility, I don’t see why he wouldn’t go with her, particularly in an arranged setting where he has no previous interaction with them. Sure, if he/family somehow know her and like her, then anything goes. But if that’s not the case, I don’t see a guy going for one with the extra baggage when there’s someone (as far as he knows) without it.

As for marrying to alleviate pain and all that, if you browse topics even on this forum, you can see the women’s side of the family will even look into the health of prospective grooms and even decline based on health problems. So it’s not just the men–anyone will try to avoid these situations that will complicate their lives even more. It goes both ways. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Also, though perhaps not to the same extent, a divorced man would also rank lower than his undivorced counterpart as a marriage prospect.