Re: Women’s Second Marriage!
If I were your parents, I would push for the talaq because unfortunately your sisters kameeni inlaws are setting the standard for a miserable married life. I know of at least several girls who broke their Nikkah and are now happily married to men who respect them and have very respectful inlaws. My own ex inlaws would always throw in my face how much salami or jahez ppl received at every wedding we used to go to.
I’m recently divorced myself with a child and this whole thread, to be honest, is absolutely scary. I think it’s wrong for society to place judgement on a woman based on the fact that her first marriage failed without knowing why. I stayed in a marriage for over a decade where my ex-husband had multiple affairs (he even cheated on my when I was pregnant with his child and then his girlfriend at the time threatened to kill the child), had severe anger management issues (broken furniture, broken walls, flying dishes), and didn’t provide a single anna to support either myself or our child (he rather spend his time with his mistress than spend time with his child when the child called him asking him to come home). I kept sabr upto the point when my child (a toddler) stood up against my exhusband in one of his mad rages and told him to leave his mamma (me) alone. That and he started introducing his latest mistress as his wife.
i didn’t utter a word of what happened to my home to anyone, not even my own parents. When my exhusband would spend us into debt, he would accuse me of giving money to my parents at which point I cutoff all contact with my family and setup bank accounts with my saas so no one could say I was taking the money (which I was earning since my husband gave all his salary to his mom for imaginary debts) and giving it to my family. I only confided to my saas and after every event she would tell me that the decision to stay married was mine, but ppl always blame the girl. at the end of the marriage she said I should think of my child and stay with my abusive ex otherwise ppl would say my child was an orphan. This coming from a woman who has daughters of her own who are old enough to be married and every time one of her friends daughters would get divorced, she would blame the daughter behind her friends back. If this is what our society has to offer, then it’s time for ppl to tell society to be more Islamic in their approach to life.
when I finally left and told my parents, they cried and said why had I waited. Why had I let myself and then my child suffer because what society would say and that this wasn’t Pakistan (I’m in the US). Then they gave me example after example of women who had gone on to get remarried even with children and how much happier they were and the children too. As a previous poster pointed out, if its ok for a woman to marry a man who has children, then why not the other way around?