women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@KARAKUSH

well my mom says its better women find themselves their own men .referring to those women who go out n study n make a career for themselves. that way parents both side respect eachother .there is no one who is superior and all that matters is the wish of the children.

anyways its quite individualistic, the family setups i mean.

i agree with her

[Sara516]

Re: Young Pakistani Women who hope to find men for themselves, are “made” to be loser

@saieen

double standards? men chat/date/do beyond with women…now aren’t women involved? so then how come only men and their parents are to be blamed for double standards? it takes two to tango. if men date then they aren’t really dating aliens u know. and women are dating then obviously either they have permission from their parents or are doing it on their own. same goes for guys. i don’t think any sane parent will ask his/her son/daughter to go out and start dating for the sake of marriage. its everyones right to know the person b4 commiting themselves. now if women are dumb enough to listen to everything their parents have to say [no matter how idiotic/moronic it is] then its their own fault. if you’d let others to boss u around then heck they’d do it more and more. so stand up for yourself and your rights. for that you’d have to confront your parents. they are part of the very same society u so nicely blamed for all your problems. if you are not part of the problem then surely you are not trying anything to be part of the solution aswell. so stop playing the blame-game and do something for yourself. forget others.

Alot of guys date women wiht the promise “we’ll get married/engaged” and when time comes, they back out or his parents dont like her, or otherwise relationship falls apart.. n it is seen as a bad thing for grlz to be choosin tehir own partners or to even have any opinion on it! I know lots of grlz who’ve had no voice in the matter of who they spend their life with, their parents take care of it when tehyre’ in HS (so tha they dont get “kharab” in college ) n to a lesser xtreme, my mom wudnt let me say anythin in public abt it (only to her n my dad personally)..

And why r u ppl getting on this person for saying things r “rotten” insteaed of doing soemthing abt it? How do you know she or others aren’t doing something abt it? Last time I checked, we do have a right to vent n let out or frustrations here, ( as well as look for solid solutions)

[mulz]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@parissenoor

i agree with her

Paris ton noor ji, there's no problem with goris.. they can date hundreds of guys and if they find life boring they get married only to seek divorce when they feel they should change something in their life.

I guess this is a janana forum but yet lot of girls have a point here and my comments are that we desis are sandwitched between the western and eastern cultures.. previous generation never faced such a crisis but the newer generation finds it increasingly hard.. girls' job is to make sure she aint getting a raw deal and is faithful and guys shudn't back out of promise or anything.. my 2 cents.

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

double post

[Barfee]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

I can sooooo see what you mean. If I can't even talk to my fiance let alone see him without being talked about but if my brothers did the same, there wouldn't too much of a problem :o

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

^^ i disagree with you:
_ first : muslim gori and gora are not as shallow as you think they are:rolleyes: seeking marriage for divorce is mayb a passtime for rich saudis…but not for common people;)
_ second: girls are maybe sandwich between eastern and western culture, but it’s up to THEM to take a step towards better life and choose their partner themselves…cause from what i’ve read here…arranged marriage btw desi people is superficial business based on looks and status…and sorry but it’s not islamic at all…marriage should be based on more than just physical lust, and power or money greed

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@Barfee

I can sooooo see what you mean. If I can't even talk to my fiance let alone see him without being talked about but if my brothers did the same, there wouldn't too much of a problem :o

who cares about "sab log kya kaheenge???"
old aunties.........come on barfee, you're too young to care about *****es tongue:D

[mulz]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@parissenoor

^^ i disagree with you:
_ first : muslim gori and gora are not as shallow as you think they are:rolleyes: seeking marriage for divorce is mayb a passtime for rich saudis…but not for common people;)
_ second: girls are maybe sandwich between eastern and western culture, but it’s up to THEM to take a step towards better life and choose their partner themselves…cause from what i’ve read here…arranged marriage btw desi people is superficial business based on looks and status…and sorry but it’s not islamic at all…marriage should be based on more than just physical lust, and power or money greed

Its not the question of being shallow, its just being different, Paris ton noor.. I think there’s something in gora/goris (basically caucausian) DNA that makes them comfortable with being slutty.. they tend to like sexually being with multiple partners.. my good friend miss. Surraiya, who is from Lahore but only half desi (mom from England) drinks, smokes weed, and has slept with everyone I know in our friend circle but talks like a maulana… as if she Islam begins with her and would soon take a tasbeeh while accepting she committed a sin… I am not stereotyping here, just an obersvation

[picoico]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@lussi

well in our religion ...i dont think even guys can do much pursuing...khair but thats different from our culture..wheres it okay for guys to go after girls but not vice versa..and usually culture triumphs religion..

Only where people are ignorant of religion.

If religion is invoked to challenge culture, religion almost always wins...at least in Pakistan. Problem is, the conflation if the two is so complete that people never think to even do that...they assume that what is cultural is mandated religiously.

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@mulz

Its not the question of being shallow, its just being different, Paris ton noor.. I think there’s something in gora/goris (basically caucausian) DNA that makes them comfortable with being slutty.. they tend to like sexually being with multiple partners.. my good friend miss. Surraiya, who is from Lahore but only half desi (mom from England) drinks, smokes weed, and has slept with everyone I know in our friend circle but talks like a maulana… as if she Islam begins with her and would soon take a tasbeeh while accepting she committed a sin… I am not stereotyping here, just an obersvation

lol i wonder who are the girls some of friends in pak sleep with:D…maybe goris especially bring to pak for them…lol

ps, it’s really hard to belive…would you believe a girl talking like a maulana and holding a cup of beer :nono:…i would not…really no;)

[Iconoclast]

Re: Young Pakistani Women who hope to find men for themselves, are "made" to be losers.

@Dushwari

I am sincerely posting this question.

Double standards of Pakistani young men are horrendous.

Their parents' values and secretly their own are aspiring to find a timid, beautiful, rich young women for themselves, as daughter-in-laws and as wives ... but before that, these men chat with women on-line, they date with them, and go beyond it...

Yet when a woman simply wants to make sure that with getting to know a man herself, intellectually, ideologically through communication, on-line or in- person, she lives under the fear that her character is or will be out on stake, for the double standards that these men, & the society at large, has accepted and formed against her.

How rotten is that?

I think in general woemn themselves accept this, its Okay for them if their husband/fiancee has done some 'mun maari' here and there, but the men do not accept this from women.

SO there are two solutions to this problem, one, men also accept that its Okay for their women to have some affairs,
second, women don't marry/engage the men who have been involved with other women.

Pick one people.

[parissenoor]

Re: Young Pakistani Women who hope to find men for themselves, are “made” to be loser

@Iconoclast

I think in general woemn themselves accept this, its Okay for them if their husband/fiancee has done some ‘mun maari’ here and there, but the men do not accept this from women.

SO there are two solutions to this problem, one, men also accept that its Okay for their women to have some affairs,
second, women don’t marry/engage the men who have been involved with other women.

Pick one people.

men:confused:..or their mothers:D

[Iconoclast]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

Men

[saieen]

Re: Young Pakistani Women who hope to find men for themselves, are “made” to be loser

@Sara516

Alot of guys date women wiht the promise “we’ll get married/engaged” and when time comes, they back out or his parents dont like her, or otherwise relationship falls apart.. n it is seen as a bad thing for grlz to be choosin tehir own partners or to even have any opinion on it! I know lots of grlz who’ve had no voice in the matter of who they spend their life with, their parents take care of it when tehyre’ in HS (so tha they dont get “kharab” in college ) n to a lesser xtreme, my mom wudnt let me say anythin in public abt it (only to her n my dad personally)..

And why r u ppl getting on this person for saying things r “rotten” insteaed of doing soemthing abt it? How do you know she or others aren’t doing something abt it? Last time I checked, we do have a right to vent n let out or frustrations here, ( as well as look for solid solutions)

i didn’t said girls have no rights to voice their opinion and ask for their rights. if they have the guts to stand up to their parents then all the power to them. but also they should make sure the guy won’t chicken out when its time to confront a few pissed off parents.

[mulz]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@parissenoor

lol i wonder who are the girls some of friends in pak sleep with:D…maybe goris especially bring to pak for them…lol

ps, it’s really hard to belive…would you believe a girl talking like a maulana and holding a cup of beer :nono:…i would not…really no;)

Maybe she is a hypocrate.. I dont listen to her. But I talked about the DNA thing.. how do you account for France and other western countries’ open approach towards nudity.. They have tons of nude beaches in S. France… In Denmark most of the current generation doesnt know their parentage cuz everyone indulged in sex so much in 70s-90s that it has become hard to conduct the DNA tests for almost everyone.. They say that the US is not embracing open sexuality at all and it is religiously conservative.

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@mulz

Maybe she is a hypocrate.. I dont listen to her. But I talked about the DNA thing.. how do you account for France and other western countries’ open approach towards nudity.. They have tons of nude beaches in S. France… In Denmark most of the current generation doesnt know their parentage cuz everyone indulged in sex so much in 70s-90s that it has become hard to conduct the DNA tests for almost everyone.. They say that the US is not embracing open sexuality at all and it is religiously conservative.

i guess i’m not living in the same europe as you:D
i don’t live in south france or danemark but in paris…that explains maybe??

but let me remid you than we also have caucasian DNA in paris;) and no nudity is forbidden by law here…and punished by fines!!

[parissenoor]

Re: Young Pakistani Women who hope to find men for themselves, are “made” to be loser

@saieen

i didn’t said girls have no rights to voice their opinion and ask for their rights. if they have the guts to stand up to their parents then all the power to them. but also they should make sure the guy won’t chicken out when its time to confront a few pissed off parents.

first girls mus be strong to become good mothers;)

second who would want to marry a chicken??? sorry but i’m no hen:Dvolunteers?

[Barfee]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@parissenoor

who cares about "sab log kya kaheenge???" old aunties.........come on barfee, you're too young to care about *****es tongue:D

my parents do :(

[dutch_paki]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

/\ my parents did :)

[parissenoor]

Re: women who hope to find men for themselves, are a loser.

@Barfee

my parents do

are you going to live with them after marriage:confused:???

you know the most important person in your life is the one that builds your future: your woh and you!

parents built your future when you were child…but you’re no more;)