Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
*
*so why is it a gender specific thing?
why do only women have the thought process you have mentioned.
So, what are you trying to say here? That men....when looking for a woman to have a casual relationship with, to fool around with.....don't look for attractiveness? It can also be argued that when it comes to making a commitment such as marriage.....physical attractiveness is among the qualities that men look for.....but they also pay greater attention to other things as well such as personality, family background, etc. Why only confine this to women? Can we speak for every single person for both genders? I've read a couple articles about how some married men will have affairs with women who are nowhere near as attractive as their own wives.......who may even be considered ugly......but they have the affairs because the women meet the needs (sexual/emotional, etc) that are not being met in the marriage. Who knows? Maybe some women might go for a guy who is average looking but meets their needs that are not being met in their marriage.
So if you're complaining that women prefer a hunk to have an affair with..........wouldn't these women have to be fairly attractive themselves to capture the attentions of a good looking guy? Or are you saying that the guys don't discriminate...and are so horny that they will get it on with any woman? Could the difference in the intensity of sexual urges between both genders play a role in how picky they are when searching for someone to screw?
I'm confused as to the point of this question....because you seem very very very into it....with the use of words such as "back up your claim" and "please don't deviate" and "please elaborate". LOL, are you thinking of starting an affair with a married woman? Or are you upset that a married woman (who was looking to have an affair) turned you or some guy you know due to lack of attractiveness?
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
Sorry I misunderstood your topic I thought u were talking about women having affairs after they got married
but back to the real topic I can only tell u from my point of view that its normal to date and have fun with someone u think are a hunk when u dont want to commit either u are a man or a women....but when its comes to marriages and finding ur mate than looks arent as important since looks fades away and its only natural that a women wants more than just good looks in her husband afterall she has to live with him for the rest of her life hopefully
sorry. this strategy is gender specific.
its only women who have higher standards for looks when they want casual affairs...not men.
men have flexible standards when they want the same.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
its only women who have higher standards for looks when they want casual affairs...not men.
men have flexible standards when they want the same.
Cuz ALL men are so horny that they'll screw ANY women.....even those with a face that only a plastic surgeon would love? Since you're so upset at the women being picky....does this generalization (and yes, I know there are exceptions) make the men sound any better?
Affairs are wrong to begin with. I still don't understand why you're so worked up over this?
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
lets not get all judgmental here. there is nothing wrong with raising or lowering ones standards. and there is nothing wrong with having a high sexual urge either.
yes, i beleive its gender specific. only women raise their standards for looks when looking for casual affairs and sex vis a vis commitment and marriage. men actually have pretty flexible standards for womens looks when they want just a fling or casual sex.
men actually get a bad rep for being shallow and wanting a goodlooking wife, specially in our society. i can acknowledge that. but when it comes to casual affairs and sex, women are much more picky about mens looks. so much so that most women would only consider it with a guy if he is really attractive. no matter what she looks like herself. the tables are turned and by a greater degree.
im just pointing out the repercussions of these strategies of males and females.
we will have a scenario where the vast majority of males will be sexually frustrated unless they get into a relationship.
women ofcourse are at an advantage. even a mediocre looking young woman can easily have an affair with a much better looking guy. alhtough it may seem as an unwanted advantage, it nevertheless is for women who want to have their fun before settling down and there are plenty of them out there.
paying for sex is also something that a lot of guys will consider.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
it also raises questions about womens sexuality.
if only a handful of men are able to turn them on, if only a handful of men are attractive enough to elicit a sexual response from them, to deserve sex based on looks alone, then are they settling down with men they dont find physically attractive?
this is a valid question, because (i can guarantee you this) that every man can look at his wife or long term gf and say that he would have had sex with her based on what she looks like.
in that respect, men are more honest. they marry women they are genuinely attracted to. if a woman is not attractive enough for JUST SEX, she is unattractive for marriage as well.
you can judge men for being horny freaks who would do anything that moves, but the thing is men wouldnt have sex with someone they found physically repulsive. its just that men have the ability to be attracted to the female form. ofcourse if its an attractive woman, the degree of attraction would be greater. but the fact is that men are perfectly capable of getting aroused by the body of an average looking woman as well.
but the body of an average looking male does absolutely nothing for women in the arousal department. it only takes for a very attractive male to elicit that response.
in that respect, contrary to popular belief, looks are more important to women, than they are to men.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
Yes, ALL women marry guys they are not even remotely attracted to. And ALL of them then look for extramarital affairs. And the ONLY reason behind their extramarital affairs is that the guy is a stud. The extramarital affair can NEVER be based on other factors.
And aaaaw the poor becharay vast majority of sexually frustrated guys........the sad plight that they are in.......all because the married women are unwilling to throw them a bone based on their' lack of attractiveness. The poor becharay sexually frustrated men who are hoping that married women will get em laid......poor things.....they can't find a girl who is single and will have them....they can't go for a more halal alternative such as marriage which will get them laid more frequently. Or they could stop hoping that a married woman would lay em.....and go to someone who would not discriminate at all....like a prostitute.......that way they'd just have to worry about STDS....and not so much about the complications of destroying someone's marriage/home. Sure......it takes two to tango.......the married women who are cheating on the spouses shouldn't be excused either; those women are guilty as well. But LMAO....I'm not going to use your theories to develop sympathy for the horny and "sexually frustrated" men who are turning to married women to satisfy their needs.....no matter how "honest" they are.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
why do you keep bringing in the married woman.
why cant two single people have an affair.
and dont talk about extremes. im not saying women marry men they are not even remotely attracted to. im saying that NOT MANY women can look at their husbands and say that she would have had considered him for a casual affair in college.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
look there is no need to get worked up. lets stay calm.
im glad you mention "mens' lack of attractiveness". this is a very important point.
think about this. if so many men are unattractive and inadequate, why do they get to have reasonable prospects for commitment and marriage. its not mens unattractiveness, its the high standards of the casual sex market that automatically exclude majority of men.
i would be very uncomfortable with the fact that the girl i get married to, (hypothetically) wouldnt have considered me for an affair or casual sex, if say we were in the same college, because if she wanted an affair or casual sex, she could have done it easily with a guy much better looking than me. and this is not to say that im completely ugly or she wont be remotely attracted to me...she would just havemuch better options. that is the bitter truth, im not complaining or blaming anyone. it surprises me why people have a hard time acknowledging it
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
I guess that's what is throwing me off.
I think it's a matter of semantics, in Pakistan the word "affairs" refers to unmarried/single people as well and its not exclusive to married folks. better term would be a casual relationship...
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
You’d be upset if your wife wouldn’t have considered you for “casual sex” if the two of you were in college? Lol, considering how conservative desi culture is…and the double standards regarding what men and women can get away with…many desi guys would have hang ups over EVEN the thought of a girl (whom they’re considering for marriage) entertaining the idea of casual sex let alone acting on it.
Where’s Edal when ya need him? This is his time to shine.
How many desi girls would be into having a casual sexual affair? Also…what has more value to you? The idea that she wouldn’t have you for a casual affair and later dump you…or that she picked you as her life partner (not just an affair) because she found you decent looking and also found that you had many other positive qualities that the hot guy (in the casual affair) lacked? Could it not be looked at in that way as well?
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
again without judging anything.
that is the reason why men go to prostitutes but women dont.
a man goes to a prostitute because he is looking for sex without strings attached.
since its more difficult for men to get it, due to womens selective nature and high standards, a lot of men pay for it.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
You'd be upset if your wife wouldn't have considered you for "casual sex" if the two of you were in college? Lol, considering how conservative desi culture is.....and the double standards regarding what men and women can get away with........many desi guys would hang ups over EVEN the thought of a girl (whom they're considering for marriage) entertaining the idea of casual sex let alone acting on it.
you are referring to society judging womens promiscuity harshly, yes thats a double standard and i can acknowledge that.
but womens selectiveness and high standards for casual sex are a universal phenomena. the link i posted is not pakistani. women in the west are sexually liberated.
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
you are referring to society judging womens promiscuity harshly, yes thats a double standard and i can acknowledge that.
but womens selectiveness and high standards for casual sex are a universal phenomena. the link i posted is not pakistani. women in the west are sexually liberated.
Thank God, someone's being picky and discriminating. If both genders were equally horny......we'd have greater issues. :p
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
Do women have higher standards when looking for a casual fling? Absolutely. Men usually have a higher sexual (primal) need for women, which makes most go for anything that’s got boobs and ass. Obviously in this situation, the simple laws of economics come into play and when women have a wider choice of men willing to get it on with her, she will choose the better looking ones.
Whereas when a woman is looking for long term commitment, priorities change, they have to think about their long term future, financial stability, mental compatibility, etc etc. The pool of men who tick the right boxes is much smaller, hence men can dictate play a bit here since women in this situation are willing to compromise on physical appearance in favour of an all round player and even the ‘uglier’ or less attractive guys are likely to score higher. I also don’t see how either is more ‘honest’ or ‘becharay’ than the other. The ‘sexual frustration’ of unattractive men is undoubtedly higher in the first scenario, but in the second long term commitment scenario they still get a fair chance to be with a girl when she does not only go for looks.
I don’t think this requires a long winded explanation, it is common sense and just the way things are.
Anyway, interesting discussion unfolding here, please do go on
Re: women : do you have different standards for mens looks, for affairs & commitment
another point i like to make is that for many women, this isnt a conscious change in priorities, but rather a painful experience of realizing that just because they could get attractive and charming men for affairs and sex, doesnt mean they'd be getting the same kind for commitment and marriage.
