Scenario: You are a single guy who is on the look out for a serious relationship and you over a few weeks meet a bunch of girls you find compatible. You go out for dinner with each of them. Just to make it easy, lets say three girls. You are effectively meeting them up for dinner, lunch, brunch, movies etc. at different times as you get to know them better before you make a decision.
One of them finds out and accuses you of cheating on her with the other girls.
The question is, did the guy really cheat?. In the scenario it was casual though they guy was getting close to the women. To different degrees.
My opinion? No cheating as he did not state or imply at any stage it was exclusive or that they were in a committed relationship. There is nothing in the world says you can not have dinner with different girls for dinner or lunch just to see how compatible they are with guy.
Technically its not cheating... my husband did the same thing when he was looking for a girl to get married to.... I got pretty mad when he told me at first, but then calmed down.... its the logical thing to do when you're pressed for time and have to pick a girl within 2-3 months :p
Scenario: You are a single guy who is on the look out for a serious relationship and you over a few weeks meet a bunch of girls you find compatible. You go out for dinner with each of them. Just to make it easy, lets say three girls. You are effectively meeting them up for dinner, lunch, brunch, movies etc. at different times as you get to know them better before you make a decision.
One of them finds out and accuses you of cheating on her with the other girls.
The question is, did the guy really cheat?. In the scenario it was casual though they guy was getting close to the women. To different degrees.
My opinion? No cheating as he did not state or imply at any stage it was exclusive or that they were in a committed relationship. There is nothing in the world says you can not have dinner with different girls for dinner or lunch just to see how compatible they are with guy.
I hope this is not wrong, I am in the middle of it myself.
Good question!! I'm inclined to favour the guy in this situation. I had a friend who went through a similar situation.
So the guy's khaala invites him to her city and wants him to meet a bunch of different girls for the purpose of marriage. He's only in town for a limited duration and he's to be introduced to a few girls. So, he does lunch, coffee and dinner with a few girls. I think it goes to the niyaat or intention of the guy - so long as he's not leading the girls on and does not prolong the getting to know one another phase AND makes it clear that it's non-exclusive - I figure why not?
On the other hand, I had another friend who refused to meet more than one girl at a time - his comment (what a sweetheart):
"Yay larkiyan hain, koi gaajar mooli nahin kai main bazaar sai jaakai pasand kar raha hoon"
Nope, its not cheating nor is it womanizing. Its also not the best/nicest way to handle things. If you're going the dating route instead of the arranged route, its always best to go one at a time. If you dont and the gals find out, you may well earn yourself a rep for womanizing even though your technically arent a womanizer.
Good question!! I'm inclined to favour the guy in this situation. I had a friend who went through a similar situation.
So the guy's khaala invites him to her city and wants him to meet a bunch of different girls for the purpose of marriage. He's only in town for a limited duration and he's to be introduced to a few girls. So, he does lunch, coffee and dinner with a few girls. I think it goes to the niyaat or intention of the guy - so long as he's not leading the girls on and does not prolong the getting to know one another phase AND makes it clear that it's non-exclusive - I figure why not?
On the other hand, I had another friend who refused to meet more than one girl at a time - his comment (what a sweetheart):
"Yay larkiyan hain, koi gaajar mooli nahin kai main bazaar sai jaakai pasand kar raha hoon"
the difference is that in both the cases you note the guy and girl are meeting explicitly for the purpose of seeing if they are a match.
the situation CM is in, is at a much earlier stage..so cant be compared.
CM, go on brotha man, no harm no foul, you are all okay.
the difference is that in both the cases you note the guy and girl are meeting explicitly for the purpose of seeing if they are a match.
the situation CM is in, is at a much earlier stage..so cant be compared.
CM, go on brotha man, no harm no foul, you are all okay.
Oh I am fully aware that CM's situation is not as shareefana as my friend's. But that being said, going out for coffee or a dinner with a girl does not make a committed relationship - you can meet up with a person just to enjoy their company and get to know each other with no ulterior motive.
As we all know, you're not going to marry everyone you meet or talk to. You go out to have fun and figure out if the other person is a potential mate, just a friend or person you want to avoid at all costs.
The issue in my mind comes when you mislead the other person into believing that coffee or dinner "means" more than it does - don't create expectations in her mind. Be honest with the other person that getting together is "just dinner", not a lifetime committment - then you can say no harm, no foul.
One more point - you don't have to tell her about the other girls - just don't tell her she's the only girl or lie if she asks whether there's anyone else.
Oh I am fully aware that CM's situation is not as shareefana as my friend's. But that being said, going out for coffee or a dinner with a girl does not make a committed relationship - you can meet up with a person just to enjoy their company and get to know each other with no ulterior motive.
As we all know, you're not going to marry everyone you meet or talk to. You go out to have fun and figure out if the other person is a potential mate, just a friend or person you want to avoid at all costs.
The issue in my mind comes when you mislead the other person into believing that coffee or dinner "means" more than it does - don't create expectations in her mind. Be honest with the other person that getting together is "just dinner", not a lifetime committment - then you can say no harm, no foul.
One more point - you don't have to tell her about the other girls - just don't tell her she's the only girl or lie if she asks whether there's anyone else.
sorry...an arranged rishta meeting versus someone meeting ppl on his own in much casual and initial stages does not make one situation less or more shareefana than others.
rest of your post I agree with..
cultural baggage must be stowed in overhead bins or under the seat in front of you before take off..
