Welcome…Bienvenido…Ahlan Wa Sahlan…Khush Amdeed…Swaagatam…
Please help yourselves to some snacks while I get some more goodies ready for you…make yourself comfy, Mi casa es su casa!
For starters, I have:
Mini Crab Cakes
Carmelized Onion & Goat Cheese Flatbread
Patatas Bravas (my favorite Spanish tapas!)
Lately, something has been weighing heavily on my mind…How do you view your own mortality? Are you scared of dying? Some of you know that I lost both my parents to cancer just 30 days apart. My mother was quite young, by most standards when she passed, just 61. Yesterday, we lost another family member, my khala (mom’s cousin), who was also quite young, she had just turned 60. I feel like all my “ghar ke barray” are slowly leaving, and yet it is inevitable. It kind of has me thinking about my own life and my children..eventually they will be in the same spot I am.
Do you feel like you’re making the most of your time on this Earth? Have you ever had a “wake up call” to start doing things differently?
first of all I loved the sitting place now to your question , every night when baby n dada sleeping I just wonder wht happens if this is the end of my life or something bad happens to men I promise yes I will do this n tht for tomorrow, n then again next morning I get lost in these worldy things, guilty guilty guilty
It’s always sad when you lose anyone, especially when it’s someone who you were close to.
But, I think, losing people just makes it easier to accept that death is inevitable. I’m not really scared of dying anymore, I just hope I accomplish everything I want to before The Big Guy calls for me.
chomping down on crab cakes and flatbread I likes yummers
i have had a wakeup call, i was in Alaska on my way to work. changing lanes when a car shot past, and scared me…i overcorrected and my car ended up spinning out of control hitting the side of the highway flipping over and landing on the driver’s side. Thank god i was wearing my seatbelt otherwise i would have been out that windshield and probably dead. In fact while my car was doing its flip in the air my life flashed before my eyes and i was sure i was going to die and could only think one thing “ya allah mere parents ko sabar deina”
but more than my own mortality i am exceedingly aware of the mortality of my elders, im not afraid of my own death but the thought of losing my loved ones isn’t pleasant, though I accept is a reality that I will have to face and do face everytime one of them passes on. I’ve lost all my maamu’s the last of whom passed on this past year. It was the worst day of my life…ive never cried at a death but i couldnt control myself at his. Even today when i think about it its painful and I was completely alone during that time. My maternal grandparents were very young when they passed on …i ve seen so many elders (and not so elders) pass on …im scared of losing them all …but i’ll be honest i pray for their health and long life… apart from that i try not to think about it
Also Khatti, if that really be su casa, me thinks a trip to Texas be in order.
As for your mortality question, when I heard about my nani being sick a few years ago, that got me thinking. She’s the one whose house we always go to when we’re in Pakistan and if she was gone it would just be so weird. It wasn’t so much thinking about living life to the fullest, just about how much structure the elders in your family provide. It’s like a rock. Being a grandparent, with my parents gone, kind of scares the crap out of me.
^ that’s the thing ghosty..when I look at my kids, they have lost 3 grandparents…dada they never knew…nana & nani they were insanely close too…dadi is still with us, but they are not that close with her, it makes so overwhelmingly sad that they don’t have those “rocks/anchors”…we recently liquidated my ammi’s Estate and her house has sold…when we drive past it now, my eldest still gets excited about “nani’s house”
…and then I think about myself…my nani is the only living grandparent I have, but she’s in the early stages of dimentia and it’s getting harder and harder for her. I think back to the day my ammi passed away, my nani was at her bedside, but doesn’t remember it. there are days that she still asks where my ammi is and I’m kind of thinking that is a blessing in disguise…
Yea, the elders of the family are who everyone turns to first. Then the grown ups. No one looks to the kids for support, regardless of how ‘old’ they are.
With all the deaths and illnesses in the last few years, I’ve started to realize that there’s going to be a time when me, my siblings, and all of my cousins are going to have to step up and be the “Ghar k barray”… That thought REALLY scares me. So I try and not think about it
I saw my parents become their own family’s elders. Both of their parents passed.
I can’t think of a life with out my parents/ aunts/ uncles.
All of my grandparents passed away at a relatively young age. Most recently, my nana’s brother passed away and it did get me thinking about how an entire generation is vanishing right in front of our eyes and you can’t help but think about how our parents are next. Both my parents aren’t in the best of health, so it is an unpleasant reality that they might not be around for as long as I would like them to be. But instead of concentrating on that I chose instead to pray for a long and healthy life for them and have made an effort to spend as much time as I can with the very few elders that are still alive. One of my Dad’s cousins is in her 80s and has one of the most interesting life stories you will ever hear. I love sitting with her and just listening to her stories. She is so good at telling them and Mashallah she still has such an amazing memory.
Yes being a grown up sucks. I want to go back to waking up early on Saturday mornings and watching Rugrats…
I asked my dad about our family history a while ago and he said he really didn’t know past my great grandfather. Apparently my grandfather knew a lot but none of my phuppos, chachas, or my dad, thought to ask him. It’s a trivial thing but I think it’s cool how some people know about generations of their family. I was so annoyed.
Oooh, I LOVE your sort-of home! And the food is delish - time to take out the fat pants.
As to the question about losing loved ones and my own mortality, the first person I lost was my nana (my dada and dadi passed away before I was born). Losing him was really tough because of the man he was. He had the most amazing smile and such a generous heart. I loved him because he loved my mom. You know how grandparents slip a few dollars to their grandkids as a random treat, he would give my mom a few dollars and for a financially independent woman, she would look at him and say, why me, mujhay nahin zaroorat - and his answer was, yeh zaroorat ki baat nahin, tum bhi toh meri liyay bachi ho.
Oh, thinking about him makes me weepy. But it reminds me how blessed I was to have had him and known him for even such a short period of time and that time is precious. You never know what the future holds and all we can do is cherish our loved ones while they are alive.
As for my own mortality - I rationalize it that Allah (swt) has a plan for me and how ever long my life is, so be it. I do hope and pray though that I fulfill my religious obligations and when it is my time, I can peacefully so that those I leave behind can take comfort in my having lived a complete life. The longevity of it being less important.
Staying up late Friday night for Are You Afraid of the Dark and All-That! THEN waking up early for Rugrats and Mickey Mouse Club House!
Same situ on our end. My dad/ uncles never asked my Grandfather anything. Thankfully, my grandfather was around to tell me a little bit about what he knew, since he didn’t know much before The Partition himself.
On my mom’s side, my grandfather passed before I was born. No one really asked him much. And my Nani was a really young so she didn’t know anything either.
I don’t even remember my Friday night routine. I’m getting old .
Also Sehrysh, that’s very nice. It was the opposite for me, my nana passed away before I was born while the rest of my grandparents were alive. Then my dada passed away and now it’s just nano and dado.
Guys, I’m scared. Mard shmard, if Khatti comes at us with a meat cleaver, I’m shoving you two towards her and saving myself.
now to your question , every night when baby n dada sleeping I just wonder wht happens if this is the end of my life or something bad happens to men I promise yes I will do this n tht for tomorrow, n then again next morning I get lost in these worldy things, guilty guilty guilty 
and I’m kind of thinking that is a blessing in disguise…
