Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
could you round it off to 2 or 1
Half dude is the perfect case of "good from far but far from good"
And dude 1 is married....eek
So 0?!:D
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
And then you women ***** about your spineless husbands who wouldn't stand up to their mothers and sisters for you
I've never whined/complained about my husband being spineless or not standing up to his mother/sister for me. Barking up the wrong tree here pal...
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
The amount of double standards in this thread is too damn high. Le pak, go make a meme now!
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
this is really sickening. how old is everyone here?
i guess every single rishta aunty will reject me. im seriously sooooo far removed from this world...sigh.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
The question is would a brother or sister be okay with that kind of behavior after marriage. It won't fly with me. Mr. Theorist is a good looking guy and I have seen women get flirty with him. If I saw him lunching with a woman alone, I would flip. Just being honest.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
The question is would a brother or sister be okay with that kind of behavior after marriage. It won't fly with me. Mr. Theorist is a good looking guy and I have seen women get flirty with him. If I saw him lunching with a woman alone, I would flip. Just being honest.
How dare you disturb the circle jerk?
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
From my POV, intent counts for a lot. Both the husband/wife's intention in having lunch or a meal or a conversation with someone of the opposite gender and the intention of the girl/guy with whom the married person is going out. If either party has a non-platonic intention - they flirt with or are doing it in a non-platonic manner, then the husband/wife shouldn't be having the meal. The husband or wife can control their own neeyat and they can control the company they are in, if the neeyat of the other person is suspect.
Beyond that, a platonic meeting and casual meeting is as harmless or harmful as a person makes it out to be and shouldn't be suspect.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I've never whined/complained about my husband being spineless or not standing up to his mother/sister for me. Barking up the wrong tree here pal...
I haven't kept tabs on you so I can't tell you apart from other standard whining aunties.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
I haven't kept tabs on you so I can't tell you apart from other standard whining aunties.
Well consider yourself schooled.
You can tuck me away in your non-whining, generally laid back, happily married with little to no issues "aunties" catalog file
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Also, with a perfect rainbowy story to share about every topic on this earth.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
^ challo, aap hi kammi thi…insaan kissi haal main khush nahin 
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Cheerup!!!
Occupational hazard of being a very very regular poster!!!!
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
From my POV, intent counts for a lot. Both the husband/wife's intention in having lunch or a meal or a conversation with someone of the opposite gender and the intention of the girl/guy with whom the married person is going out. If either party has a non-platonic intention - they flirt with or are doing it in a non-platonic manner, then the husband/wife shouldn't be having the meal. The husband or wife can control their own neeyat and they can control the company they are in, if the neeyat of the other person is suspect.
Beyond that, a platonic meeting and casual meeting is as harmless or harmful as a person makes it out to be and shouldn't be suspect.
Remember that video about "Why men and women can't be friends"? Every woman in here would flip if she found out that a coworker was hitting on her husband, yet refuses to acknowledge that most (but definitely not all) guys who hang around women would sleep with them if given the chance, especially if said woman is attractive. Not saying that every guy hits on a woman he finds attractive, but sexual thoughts definitely do cross the mind.
Second point, in talking about neeyat, is that you assume people are self aware. Most are not, and fall from platonic to romantic without realizing it. This goes for both men and women. If you read papers about the (relatively) recent phenomenon of cheating at work, the frequency of time spent together, and whether said time is spent alone, are key factors.
Now, should those who can control themselves and their interactions have to adhere to strict segregation because a lot of us can't? I don't think so. There's nothing wrong with friends of the opposite sex but let's not pretend that boundaries aren't necessary, and in a lot of cases, it would be better to drop certain friends. I suppose that the extremely conservative hold the view that it's better to avoid such situations altogether.
And again, to go back to the original question, I personally don't see anything wrong with lunches with coworkers but if someone does, that's okay. They're entitled to that view, just as long as they don't start insinuating things about another person's character based on that.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Well consider yourself schooled.
That'll be the day
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Well then, I guess marriage and commitment count for nothing. The assumption here is that people cannot/will not be faithful if given the opportunity and that their own intention and commitment to fidelity counts for nothing if the opportunity to step out on a relationship exists.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
bitter people must poison everything. i guess some of you feel better about your sad, failed lives by putting others down
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Well then, I guess marriage and commitment count for nothing. The assumption here is that people cannot/will not be faithful if given the opportunity and that their own intention and commitment to fidelity counts for nothing if the opportunity to step out on a relationship exists.
Would placing yourself in a position to stray from your commitments be a smart idea? I know for damn sure that if I find a coworker attractive, I'm not going to be having lunch dates with her. Why risk that?
Would you let your child run with scissors, as long as you explain the dangers to them? You throw enough temptation at someone and anyone would break. We're all only human.
And I'm not saying that every platonic relationship is going to turn into a romantic one. I have a female friend I'm very close with. Or rather, I was very close with. We don't hang out as much since she got married. And she's not desi either. So this type of thinking is not a religious or cultural thing.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Well then, I guess marriage and commitment count for nothing. The assumption here is that people cannot/will not be faithful if given the opportunity and that their own intention and commitment to fidelity counts for nothing if the opportunity to step out on a relationship exists.
Thats a bit extreme. What is being said is that there is always a possibility for people to err/slip. Assumption of fidelity doesn't completly remove the possiblity of things going idhar udhar.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Would placing yourself in a position to stray from your commitments be a smart idea? I know for damn sure that if I find a coworker attractive, I'm not going to be having lunch dates with her. Why risk that?
Would you let your child run with scissors, as long as you explain the dangers to them? You throw enough temptation at someone and anyone would break. We're all only human.
And I'm not saying that every platonic relationship is going to turn into a romantic one. I have a female friend I'm very close with. Or rather, I was very close with. We don't hang out as much since she got married. And she's not desi either. So this type of thinking is not a religious or cultural thing.
Thats a bit extreme. What is being said is that there is always a possibility for people to err/slip. Assumption of fidelity doesn't completly remove the possiblity of things going idhar udhar.
And assumption of remaining in saat parda with limited interaction with the opposite gender also doesn't completely remove the possibility of infidelity.
Here's the thing, I'm not disagreeing with the idea that interaction with the opposite gender needs to be balanced carefully and that certain interaction is either on its face inappropriate or is a recipe for disaster.
All I'm saying is that platonic friendships between guys and girls is possible and shouldn't be a conclusion of a bad character of either of a person.