Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
^ Don’t you know that is haraam, haraam, haraam?! :nono: You are out of the running for “rishtas” and have doomed yourself to singledom, I’m afraid.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
Good for you!! Do you feel like a big boy now?
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
I am an old man already. Why would i want to feel like a big boy. SM, doens’t ring a bel :hmm:
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
if the guy whos seeking the rishta himself is very religious, never mixes with the opposite gender himself, never talks to na mehram females when unncessary (that includes his cousins aswell), then he shouldn't marry a girl whos not doing the same. that will cause much more problems later on since they are not on the same page when it comes to religion. But whats not fair is guys who themselves have no problems in talking to girls and hanging out with them, but want a wife who has never talked to a guy or whos not so 'modern'. thats jut hypocrisy. at the end of the day, if you're that religious, you should find a girl whos equally religious so you don't impose your views on a modern girl who doesn't want to subject herself to harsh rules.
Um, thats kinda what is implied. If one person has that viewpoint and wants to reject someone on the basis of it.. then fine. Thats what ive said. Hypocrisy is another issue altogether which was not what OP specifically asked or described.
Also, its getting kinda tiring with the continuous sarcastic jokes now. I thought i had the ability to beat a joke to death..
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
Um, thats kinda what is implied. If one person has that viewpoint and wants to reject someone on the basis of it.. then fine. Thats what ive said. Hypocrisy is another issue altogether which was not what OP specifically asked or described.
I read the first post by OP and it did not say how religious the guy is himself, so no it wasn't implied in the first post. the hypocrisy part was not for the OP, but just a general thing which happens very commonly when people reject girls based on their 'morals' yet their boys are free to do what they please.
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10 guys? Surely you jest! There are hardly 1.5 guys at my workplace that a woman wouldn't mind being caught chowing daal chawal with.
I'm really curious about how unattractive the guys at your workplace are. I mean, are you sure that the future husbands of the women, who wont have daal chawal with them, would be better looking than them all?
Anyway, thanks for confirming that the average female despises the overwhelming majority of men. Its something I already know but I get a lot of B.S from women for mentioning it. Its good to hear it every now and then from a woman.
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Okay, im having trouble understanding why it's so difficult for some of you to separate the three issues here. One is that a member on the first page mentioned the questioning of ones character if he/she lunches with the opposite sex. I think we have all agreed that this is wrong, you simply can't call someone immoral for doing that.. so lets drop this argument. Now the other issue is of constant lunches with a specific colleague which can be questionable. And the third is lunch in a group or a once in a while thing where theres just two people left in the office or whatever.
Fine, people are okay with their spouses lunching with whomever. But it's understandable and quite logical if there are those who, in line with their religious views, don't want to engage in this. Whether you like it or not, clear rules about male/female interactions are stated in Islam. Now if you're going to defy that, sure go for it.. i know i do. But if someone else doesn't and doesn't expect their spouse to either then that is their concern. We all compromise religion in our own way. Nnabid made it clear, working with the opposite sex is compulsory, social lunches aren't.
if the guy whos seeking the rishta himself is very religious, never mixes with the opposite gender himself, never talks to na mehram females when unncessary (that includes his cousins aswell), then he shouldn't marry a girl whos not doing the same. that will cause much more problems later on since they are not on the same page when it comes to religion. But whats not fair is guys who themselves have no problems in talking to girls and hanging out with them, but want a wife who has never talked to a guy or whos not so 'modern'. thats jut hypocrisy. at the end of the day, if you're that religious, you should find a girl whos equally religious so you don't impose your views on a modern girl who doesn't want to subject herself to harsh rules.
Um, thats kinda what is implied. If one person has that viewpoint and wants to reject someone on the basis of it.. then fine. Thats what ive said. Hypocrisy is another issue altogether which was not what OP specifically asked or described.
Also, its getting kinda tiring with the continuous sarcastic jokes now. I thought i had the ability to beat a joke to death..
I read the first post by OP and it did not say how religious the guy is himself, so no it wasn't implied in the first post. the hypocrisy part was not for the OP, but just a general thing which happens very commonly when people reject girls based on their 'morals' yet their boys are free to do what they please.
bolded part answers your question, i didn't say that this is what OP has stated in first post, i meant my post implied that. and like i said, hypocrisy is a separate issue altogether which is not what i mentioned in my post. that requires another argument. it's simple as if person A practises something then has the right to expect the same from their potential. bas. if you want to bring in hypocrisy then i agree.
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
:mirch:
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
every month a gem of a thread comes along that the WHOLE GS populace gravitates towards and all hell breaks loose. Lol
Re: Will you refuse a girl if...............
No I wouldn't I would like my wife to have haya.
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Not in this fashion. People communicated with each other back then and believe it or not, there was a time where men and women entered the mosque from the same entrance and sat with each other in a mixed gathering. FACT.
Lol - and the sahabah of the Prophet (saw) also used to drink, and some of the Holy Prophet's (saw) wives didn't wear hijab.... FACT. Then that all changed as the Quran began to be revealed. Doesn't mean anything.
Someone, I think sweet.if, has already mentioned that Islam is very clear on gender segregation. Whether one chooses to adhere to it or not is complete personal choice, and I am not one to judge AT ALL. But, y'know... at least be up front about it if you're not going to adhere to it. This is not aimed at you PCG, I am talking generally.
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Also...can I note that, while it might seem like a casual lunch to the said girl, these sorts of actions can have definite long term repercussions. I have seen a number of rishtas break off due to a girl's carelessness by continuing to hang out with male friends or colleagues and it leads to nothing good. I guess one would need to question- is lunch with a colleague really worth it? Better to take precautions and have all the lunches , dinners and outings with your significant other instead of taking unnecessary risks of getting a bad name.
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"Will you refuse a girl if...."
Of course not. A simple lunch means nothing.
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I don't think it means anything, and it's ridiculous if someone does, especially, if living in the West.
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If your parents have no issues with what you do. Then no one should have.
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I am surprised at how many girls decide Rishtas for their brothers!
ALot of these girls sound like the nands they're so fond of whining about...
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The girl is better off being rejected than ending up spending the rest of her life with such paranoid freakazoids.
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So you go to a girl’s house for a proposal and everything looks good to you but you come to know that the girl sometimes go out for lunches with male colleagues. It is at times in a group setting like other female colleagues and male colleagues and at times it is just her with any of her male colleague. Her family is aware of this and this doesn’t mean a thing to them or her. Its just something like you want to go out for lunch and whoever feel the same goes along so sometimes it’s a whole group and at other times its just her and colleague. Now I want to ask is this something that is viewed negatively by the guys and their families? Do they form an impression of a girl as too advanced and can refuse her on this account?
If she is goes out in group..i don't see this a big deal. Not for me at leat. That is coz that is what i do..so why should i form an opinion about a girl like that.