Will you refuse a girl if...............

[Ess_Emm]

Re: Will you refuse a girl if…

@uzair1

Tell me women arent discerning about which of their male colleagues they’d have one-one lunches with.

What?

@gudiaali

you mean me? no, not at all. i am not among the types who make an issue out of it.
i just wanna know if this is taken negatively and why it is taken negatively. and as some posters said that they do view it as a reason to reject a girl and i have also heard such cases where the girls are rejected solely for this reason.

Alright. Fair enough

@nnabid

First you said ek aurat ki dushman dosri aurat hoti hai, and now you yourself are paving the way for double-standards for men! It doesn’t make sense! I expect the same type of behaviour from my brother and my husband as others would expect from myself. Why is it okay for men to have lunch with female colleagues, but not okay if the roles are reversed??

When I start a new job I make it a point to not shake hands with men when I am introduced - I know I will be seeing them day in day out so I take my time to explain that I don’t find it comfortable doing so. It’s totally awkward but they get an idea of the type of person you are at the end of the day. Similarly, when my husband started his new job, he told me he was introduced to female colleagues and he too explained that he doesn’t shake hands with women. There are no double-standards in our household. Purdah and haya is as much for men as it is for women - don’t forget the commandment of lowering the gaze is addressed to the **men first **in the Holy Quran.

If you allow double-standards to happen, then of course you should expect them in the opposite sex. In this respect, I think the same rule applies for both men and women, and would completely reject a guy if I found out he is **casually **lunching with female colleagues in his spare time.

And all you’re doing is continuing to perpetuate these double standards instead of trying to end them.