Will you refuse a girl if...............

[nnabid]

Re: Will you refuse a girl if…

@Ess_Emm

You’re correct. I don’t know you nor your brother. But I know that men and women have very different moral codes that they have to abide by. Whereas fingers would be pointed at a girl if she decides to socialize, no one would bat an eyelash if the guy decides to do the same, or even more. And every single guy in this world, whether he be from Pakistan or Timbuktu behaves himself when a female is around him, whether he’s related to her or not. So you’re definitely not special in that regard

Living up to standard set of morals isn’t as hard as people set them out to be. It’s quiet basic. And not everyone is a special snowflake in this world. But to judge someone on the basis of a regular social visit is extremely pathetic. If a potential rishta seeker has that much of a concern whether the girl has feelings for a colleague or not, then ask her point blank, instead of questioning her character and as they say, avoid mitti uchalna on someone else’s character.

Anyways, to each their own.

First you said ek aurat ki dushman dosri aurat hoti hai, and now you yourself are paving the way for double-standards for men! It doesn’t make sense! I expect the same type of behaviour from my brother and my husband as others would expect from myself. Why is it okay for men to have lunch with female colleagues, but not okay if the roles are reversed??

When I start a new job I make it a point to not shake hands with men when I am introduced - I know I will be seeing them day in day out so I take my time to explain that I don’t find it comfortable doing so. It’s totally awkward but they get an idea of the type of person you are at the end of the day. Similarly, when my husband started his new job, he told me he was introduced to female colleagues and he too explained that he doesn’t shake hands with women. There are no double-standards in our household. Purdah and haya is as much for men as it is for women - don’t forget the commandment of lowering the gaze is addressed to the **men first **in the Holy Quran.

If you allow double-standards to happen, then of course you should expect them in the opposite sex. In this respect, I think the same rule applies for both men and women, and would completely reject a guy if I found out he is **casually **lunching with female colleagues in his spare time.