sweefs
March 19, 2014, 6:37pm
187
Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
Okay, im having trouble understanding why it’s so difficult for some of you to separate the three issues here. One is that a member on the first page mentioned the questioning of ones character if he/she lunches with the opposite sex. I think we have all agreed that this is wrong, you simply can’t call someone immoral for doing that.. so lets drop this argument. Now the other issue is of constant lunches with a specific colleague which can be questionable. And the third is lunch in a group or a once in a while thing where theres just two people left in the office or whatever.
Fine, people are okay with their spouses lunching with whomever. But it’s understandable and quite logical if there are those who, in line with their religious views, don’t want to engage in this. Whether you like it or not, clear rules about male/female interactions are stated in Islam. Now if you’re going to defy that, sure go for it.. i know i do. But if someone else doesn’t and doesn’t expect their spouse to either then that is their concern . We all compromise religion in our own way. Nnabid made it clear, working with the opposite sex is compulsory, social lunches aren’t.
if the guy whos seeking the rishta himself is very religious, never mixes with the opposite gender himself, never talks to na mehram females when unncessary (that includes his cousins aswell), then he shouldn’t marry a girl whos not doing the same. that will cause much more problems later on since they are not on the same page when it comes to religion. But whats not fair is guys who themselves have no problems in talking to girls and hanging out with them, but want a wife who has never talked to a guy or whos not so ‘modern’. thats jut hypocrisy. at the end of the day, if you’re that religious, you should find a girl whos equally religious so you don’t impose your views on a modern girl who doesn’t want to subject herself to harsh rules.
Um, thats kinda what is implied. If one person has that viewpoint and wants to reject someone on the basis of it.. then fine. Thats what ive said . Hypocrisy is another issue altogether which was not what OP specifically asked or described.
Also, its getting kinda tiring with the continuous sarcastic jokes now. I thought i had the ability to beat a joke to death..
I read the first post by OP and it did not say how religious the guy is himself, so no it wasn’t implied in the first post. the hypocrisy part was not for the OP, but just a general thing which happens very commonly when people reject girls based on their ‘morals’ yet their boys are free to do what they please.
bolded part answers your question, i didn’t say that this is what OP has stated in first post, i meant my post implied that. and like i said, hypocrisy is a separate issue altogether which is not what i mentioned in my post. that requires another argument. it’s simple as if person A practises something then has the right to expect the same from their potential. bas. if you want to bring in hypocrisy then i agree.