Re: Will you refuse a girl if…
What I’m saying, and what that research has shown, is that the former (lunches at work etc) can often turn into what we’re agreed on is inappropriate, an emotional connection with someone who is not your spouse.
Lunch with a coworker is not inherently harmful, but has the potential to turn into something harmful. That’s what the book talks about, and that’s what people deny. That the potential is there. If you disagree, fine, that’s your opinion. It was mine too until I did some actual research on the topic.
As for other relationships, I think we’re all agreed that violating those is wrong. What we disagree on, is that you, and many others, see lunches and platonic relationships as being risk free. They’re not. I think the risk is worth it since many such relationships are immensely fulfilling, but ignoring the risk is just foolhardy.
Recognizing that something can be a potential threat is the first step to thwarting it.