Looking at another thread about abortion I remembered one thing. Sometimes when an abnormal child is born usually docs ask that can we give the child an injection or you want the child to live? I know its hard to take away a life but are doctors right to give you such options?
On a serious note its really hard to raise a child with disabilities or an abnormal child but we cannot take away lives also.Whats your input on that if child has disabilities with brain what would you do? Because one of my friend was pregnant and her child was not growing so she got it aborted it in 6 mnths.But since KSA doesn’t allow that so she had to go to Pak to abort that baby. So what can we do in that kind of matters?
Misery for child for rest of life? He/She can't become a proper citizen of country apart from few cases
Some time we have to think logically instead of emotionally, and it does make sense !
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
I know a few friends with children that have severe disabilities. The time and effort they spend towards their disabled child often takes them away from their responsibiity towards their normal child. I guess it's easier said than done and is very challenging for them but the love of a parent for their child is unconditional. I would do whatever it takes to care for the child. But then again, I really can't say.
Looking at another thread about abortion I remembered one thing. Sometimes when an abnormal child is born usually docs ask that can we give the child an injection or you want the child to live? I know its hard to take away a life but are doctors right to give you such options? On a serious note its really hard to raise a child with disabilities or an abnormal child but we cannot take away lives also.Whats your input on that if child has disabilities with brain what would you do? Because one of my friend was pregnant and her child was not growing so she got it aborted it in 6 mnths.But since KSA doesn't allow that so she had to go to Pak to abort that baby. So what can we do in that kind of matters?
very sorry to hear. but i also have a question that females who go through in such condition, can they ever be mother again? i mean isn't it creat any complecations for them to concieve again?
Looking at another thread about abortion I remembered one thing. Sometimes when an abnormal child is born usually docs ask that can we give the child an injection or you want the child to live? I know its hard to take away a life but are doctors right to give you such options? On a serious note its really hard to raise a child with disabilities or an abnormal child but we cannot take away lives also.Whats your input on that if child has disabilities with brain what would you do? Because one of my friend was pregnant and her child was not growing so she got it aborted it in 6 mnths.But since KSA doesn't allow that so she had to go to Pak to abort that baby. So what can we do in that kind of matters?
UZ where does that happen?
from what I know in US when a kid is born after a certain gestation you have to do everything to help that baby survive. no there an be reasosn where you withdraw life saing apparatus but you cant just give the baby an injection and kill it.
that is no different than giving an ailign old person some injection to end their life..i.e. euthanasia.
not sure where all it is legal
X2 it happened a long time ago but at that time those parents didn't kill their child.But it was a private hospital and its not in US.
And about my friend she is in KSA and she aborted her child in Pakistan. Her baby was not growing and they told her that its your choice and she went to PAk delievered a baby but it died after three or 4 seconds.
Misery for child for rest of life? He/She can't become a proper citizen of country apart from few cases
Some time we have to think logically instead of emotionally, and it does make sense !
Yes Firenze some decisions are hard to make its not easy even if you make some logical decisions it will effect you emotionally too.
I know a few friends with children that have severe disabilities. The time and effort they spend towards their disabled child often takes them away from their responsibiity towards their normal child. I guess it's easier said than done and is very challenging for them but the love of a parent for their child is unconditional. I would do whatever it takes to care for the child. But then again, I really can't say.
Nik I hope no one gets that kind of "azmaiish"
very sorry to hear. but i also have a question that females who go through in such condition, can they ever be mother again? i mean isn't it creat any complecations for them to concieve again?
They can be mothers duaa but they might have problems.
I think I can move this thread to parenting as it belongs there.:)
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
abortion just coz baby was not growing is bit extreme but there are certain conditions which if diagnosed prenatally, abortion is offered.
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
My eldest boy is considered a "special needs" child which I guess is what we're talking about here...
I have to say that I went thru all the testing ...and more than usual due to my infertility treatments, high-risk pregnancy and age. I may (or may NOT) have aborted if we found downs syndrome or other severe malady. But one thing I have to say is that this boy has been the sunshine of our lives. He will not be an engineer, doctor or lawyer when he grows up...but whatever he ends up doing, whatever he finds his niche in, he will always enjoy life to the fullest and find happiness in all that he does.
Its hard having a special needs child, it takes time and perserverance and I've had to grow a thick skin to fight for him which was a struggle for me at first. So he taught me some very valuable life lessons. Same with his brothers, my younger 2 are just amazing about dealing with people who are "different". Imagine a 5-year old telling a 9 year old "Dont you call him weird. He's just different."
Life without my special boy is just unimaginable. He has blessed us and the planet in so very many ways I cant begin to count.
I know a very distant relative, about my father's age is mentally disable or abnormal whatever is the appropriate terminology. I have seen her mother who would be about my grandma's age taking care of her needs. But I have also seen the mother say that I pray that my daughter dies before me because if I am gone who will take care of her.
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
I would definitely try my best to raise the child and put in the effort and the care that might be needed - it is definitely easier said than done but at the same time its not impossible! Plus, Allah ki nemat hai -
however i do knw people who've aborted children after amniocentisis processes knowing that a child might have downs syndrome or some other mental instability -
I know a few friends with children that have severe disabilities. The time and effort they spend towards their disabled child often takes them away from their responsibiity towards their normal child. I guess it's easier said than done and is very challenging for them but the love of a parent for their child is unconditional. I would do whatever it takes to care for the child. But then again, I really can't say.
Hijacked words from mouth.
That doctor should be given that injection.
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
my dad's brother has down's syndrome. i cannot imagine a life without him- he's the kindest, sweetest soul, and when he was born, the villagers thought he was blessed. they all banded together to take care of him, and to this day, they live in pakistan, and my uncle has seriously a better social life than i do! everybody knows him, they all watch out for him, he loves to take tea with the neighbours every evening, he goes to the mosque regularly to pray even though he's just doing the motions- but he has a routine, and a proper life, and every right to exist as other normal babies do. and in fact, if pakistan had had the resources to deal with kids with downs' syndrome, i have no question in my mind that my uncle's speech would be better, he actually would be studying (which he loves to do), and living independently as much as possible. regardless, we love him as he is and have never considered him anything more or less than the rest of us. i'm sure my grandparents had difficulties raising him, but my dad as a teenager was no angel either so its all relative, i think.
having had that experience, i would feel marginally more confident about raising a child with down's syndrome, but other disabilities? i don't know. i also don't know if i would ever be able to consider aborting my child early on. i think its one of those situations where you can hypothesize all you want, but you'll never really know until, God forbid, you are there.
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
"...but you'll never really know until, God forbid, you are there."
Thats exactly it sgc. It was wonderful to hear about your dad's brother, he is surely blessed as are those who care so much for him! It enriches the lives of both.
The thing with all this prenatal testing. It can reveal down's syndrome and some other genetic maladies and occasionally ultrasound can detect abnormalaties in brain development. But I have to say that the majority of special needs kids in our district were born with parents thinking things were fine whether they went thru all the testing or not. Either that or the problems stemmed from the birth process (prematurity puts babies at huge risk)...breathing in meconium, etc etc. There are so very many things that can go wrong at any point in the process of procreation that any birth is truly a miracle and a blessing from God/Allah.
That’s a mother speaking, and i am proud of you :k:
The closest we came to facing such a decision was when we lost our twins in 2004. one baby's gestational sac had ruptured and begum was on bed rest and being monitored. Docs view was that he did not think we can make it to a safe zone i.e. around 30 weeks and he recommended that we terminate the pregnancy, his opinion was that we could prolong it just enough that the hospital would have to do everything to save them but since they would be very premature and there would be a very very high chance of all sorts of physical and developmental issues. The sad thing is that it was half truth and they really could have done more to take us into safe zone if they did more than bedrest, but thats a whole diff story.
we talked and my pragmatic side took over and I was thinking about it, begum wanted to leave it and see how things transpired.
The decision was taken from our hands when the infection spread and she got really sick, and to save her life they had to induce labour. it was a few days before the children would be in a zone wher they would be given life support. So we knew that we will have whatever time we will have with them, their lungs were not developed enough to help them make it on their own.
so I held them both one after another as they took their first and last breaths in the short life they had with us in this world.
Having been through that experience, the one thing I am thankful for is that the decision was taken from me. I am not sure how I would have lived with myself had I convinced begum to terminate the pregnancy and gone through the same experience knowing that it was due to my decision and that I did not give them a chance.
My eldest boy is considered a "special needs" child which I guess is what we're talking about here...
I have to say that I went thru all the testing ...and more than usual due to my infertility treatments, high-risk pregnancy and age. I may (or may NOT) have aborted if we found downs syndrome or other severe malady. But one thing I have to say is that this boy has been the sunshine of our lives. He will not be an engineer, doctor or lawyer when he grows up...but whatever he ends up doing, whatever he finds his niche in, he will always enjoy life to the fullest and find happiness in all that he does.
Its hard having a special needs child, it takes time and perserverance and I've had to grow a thick skin to fight for him which was a struggle for me at first. So he taught me some very valuable life lessons. Same with his brothers, my younger 2 are just amazing about dealing with people who are "different". Imagine a 5-year old telling a 9 year old "Dont you call him weird. He's just different."
Life without my special boy is just unimaginable. He has blessed us and the planet in so very many ways I cant begin to count.
Mom of 3 you are a great mom and my mom is a great mom too.When my youngest sister was born she had too many problems not with the brain but she had and docs said we can give her injection but my parents denied it and now she is a very nice young lady.
Re: Will you raise an abnormal child?
MO3, amazing attitude. You know the saying that God gives you only what you can handle. And you are doing a wonderful job with your special boy and the other two.
X2, that was probably the hardest phase in your life. And hearing your story I can understand the plight of a parent when it comes to making such decisions.