Yes i know that this should be in the family section, but i want to know the answer of the new and coming generation.
So will you let your wife work???
My answer?
NO.
Not under any circumstances.
Let the insults rain.
CROIRE A L’INCROYABLE
Hmmm i wrote a response but system froze so doin it again.
will I let my future wife work? NO WAY
why? because I wont have a Future wife, dunn think the present wife will be too happy.
My wife works and in no way would I discourage her from it, she has put in a lot of effort and determination in pusruing her education and her goals. She is an educator and teaches young muslim kids. She brings a value to the community in this way. My mother was a teacher and my sister helps people as a doctor.
It would be grave injustice to women to keep them from pursuing their interests and goals as well as a loss for society in general.
as far as insults go, not my game brother man..not my game..
Its an entirely personal issue. This is not something we can make a generalization about. The only deciding parties are the husband and wife. I dont think getting an education necessarily calls for the person to indulge in that particular field only. This is a flaw in our pakistani society back home, where if a guy with an engineering degree is working as a furniture manufacturer, or a girl with an MBBS is a housewife, they are met with oohs and aahs. To me, a degree doesnt necessarily define what you will be doing for the rest of your lives. An education is required merely to establish logical senses within a person, and to enable him to raise kids better than the previous generation. Sometimes this knowledge can also be gained with mere worldly experience, and no educational degree. So a degree is a tiny spec in our lives, nothing else.
The 3 main reasons for men not wanting their wives working are ego (which include the fact that hes the stronger sex, so he should support his wife all the way, and the fear that she might end up making more money than him), religious connotations and kids. However, even if these reasons are not a factor, still, I believe it should be a mutual decision on part of the husband and wife, not a solo decision.
Give everyone thy ear....few thy voice
ofcourse.........who else is going to pamper me?who else will raise my kids? i think thats work enough.... :)
o©º°¨¨°º©o LiFe Is An IllUsIoN aNd ReAliTy iS a FiGmEnT oF tHe iMaGiNaIiOn o©º°¨¨°º©o
What do you mean " LET your wife work?? "
Women arent exactly cattle that are just waiting for you to leash or unleash them.
I'm not going to give you any reasons as to why men should let their wives work cuz your question is simply insane. And then Pakistanis cry & whine about Indians being everywhere!
One of t/ reasons India has done so well for itself is believing in eductaion For both men & women. Hence you see Indian women working side by side w/ Indian men in any competetive field fields such as computers & Medicine etc. & command respect.
which one? :)
I think you'd be too scared of letting your wife work cuz she just might be smarter than you & God forbid she earn more than you. Immagine that!!
degree is a tiny spec in our lives unless it is so important to your career which you hold near and dear as a part of your life.
Education is more than just getting an idea of life and the universe, you are trained in a specfic arena so you can contribute.
People change careers, people change fields but hardly as extreme as changing from a lawyer to a microbiologist..because a certain field interests them and the people who change careers usually stay within the realm of that general field/industry.
It is a mutual decision with the only catch being raising kids where women end or pause their careers and some dont. A woman staying home does not necassarily mean she will be a good mother and a woman who is working is not automatically a bad mother, although it is tougher for working moms..partially because the dads fail to share their part of the responsibility.
The most interesting discussion I had with someone was with a guy who was very hardcore and said not only should his wife not work but a woman's place is in the house and not in the workplace. I told him I agreed and after a few minutes of conversation I asked him how he felt about women who get treated by male doctors and he was opposed to that...At that point I wondered out loud that if women are not meant to be out there working, but you dont want male doctors to treat your wife/sister/mother... how can we accomplish that.
Of course he did not back down and claimed that is something for non muslim women to pursue...so I asked him how he felt about non muslim women teaching his daughters/sisters and thus not imparting the knowledge of our culture and lifestyle...the guy still did not back off and concluded that that is the reason he does not believe in school based education.
In some cases, you just cant win...
But I suppose you see my point :>
Now Mundayya you are a typical molvi.
Funky desi, take it easy, i am 18 years old and in no mood for getting married in the next 10 to 12 years.
When i said never, i purposely left out a part.
That part was: until the kids if any kids are grown.
I did this to see the reaction of people to the post.
Now Fraudia, your wife works, good for her, but i bet she cooks you food, is home with or before the children right??
I assume you have children.
And does all the jobs of a desi women at home as well.
What i meant by a job was a job like most men and european women, keeping nearly 12 hour work periods and are never home until like past 9 - like in most western homes.
Fraudia Would you accept that???
Now this brings me to the point that most working women neglect the house for persuing their work career.
I have seen many so called "modern women" who work and leave the kids to grow up with the aayahs.
So where do you draw the line?
From my personal experience:
My mom has an MBA, but did not start teaching until i was 12 and my sis 10.
My dad allowed her, but it was by her own personal choice that she work when we had grown up and could make decisions.
But what about these women, who let the maids raise them??
I most european countries Career comes first and children last.
Here in Switzerland 50% of the people are above 60.
So you repharse the question more suitably will you allow your wife to follow the european example of women working???
Where the children are given a key, taught how to microwave food at say 8 etc.
This should make more sense.
I hope.
CROIRE A L'INCROYABLE
Fraudia....i ran off in two different directions, something that happens at the end of the day.
My point was, that a degree in a wife's hand doesnt automatically mean she should be working in an office. There are other places where she can apply her well gained knowledge, her home being one of them. And on the same token, lack of a specific degree doesnt mean a woman has limited options. She can still go out and work if she so chooses. I think, regarding the pakistani culture, it depends more on the need than the desire. You dont see many women going off to the workplace just because they want to. Mostly its because of financial reasons. But again, not to sway from the topic, its a personal issue, relevant only to the couple involved. We cannot judge anybodys decision, because we simply dont have any insight into their personal lives and needs.
CM not at all mon ami. We dont have kids so that issue is not applicable yet, when they are young she will be home to take care of them unless my parents are here.
We both feel that when kids are school age she can go back into teaching because she will be coming back the same time as kids, have vacations at the same time as them etc etc. If she was a consultant like me maybe our choices would be different.
As far as food and house chores go, we split them. Some we both share and some we specialize in. I am usually banned from the kitchen unless its simple stuff but then there is other stuff I handle e.g. cleaning the bathrooms :(
other stuff like groceries, laundry other chores we kinda do together or who has more time If she has toms of papers to grade I will do it, on the other hand if I am working on some presentation due soon, she will do it.
For food and stuff, I have never been demanding and I dont need freshly made desi food every day. For that we cook and freeze
and if I want chappli kebab or nehari or qorma..its right there.
Point here is that there is a lot of give and take and shared responsibilities. It would be unfair for a guy to expect his wife to work as well as do everything around the house. I did not have an issue with it since #1 I have lived on my own for more than a decade and used to doing my own chores and more importantly #2 my mum made sure that from an early age we were able to do our own work and not look to her to iron our shirts or polish our boots etc etc.
WHat happened to my replay?
DO you guys delete ppls posts for speaking their mind?
If so! Then delete this one also. Thanks :)
of course I will never let my wife work! ;)
Sure I would..we men need a change.....I would love to sit at home and pamper my kids(and wifey too) and let her work...its just that I am not being an egoist....but an afterthought...probably, I will get sick of the routine in a lovely six months....
So here it goes...why should I enforce the same on my wife.....if she is an enterprising girl..why should'nt she work...if she can make more money than I can...fine...why should I fret over it...this is more a plight of men who are suffering from an acute sense of insecurity...
As far as household chores and kids go...well, she did not produce the kids all alone...by any means, I would have been at least half responsible for it...so if the wife works she has the same work routine and all the household work should be shared....and I totally agree with Fraudiya on this...
If I would enforce anything, or wish to be enforced...it would be on the other side..her working rather than not...
[This message has been edited by Eros (edited October 31, 2000).]
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif
… 
…Way to go mate… I m with ya !
ALL WOMEN WORK
Considering what women do as non-work is disrespectful.
The work involved in running a household is no joke. When there are children, is is multiplied many fold. It is often a job that allows little time for sleep or a routine in the beginning. It means 24 hour availability and a large variety of jobs which need a loving intelligent versatile capable and quick thinking person.
I once saw a calculation made by a mother of three children (all under 10) - between cooking, cleaning and laundry. It turnd out that she does the equivalent (hours) of two full time jobs, although she tries to do two things together sometimes.
I look at my parents now, retired.... well Dad is. He can do what he wants when he wants. But my mom can't retire... she never worked, right? So she has to continue to cook clean and wash whether or not she wants.
Okay you can tell this is my personal bugbear. But please don't ever say a woman who gives up so much to bring up her children doesn't work.
CM, maybe if you give a lot of importance to your future wife's job as a mother and home builder she will be happy to stay at home and raise kids.
Another alternative that some women have found if necessary to earn money is doing it from home. The possibilities are limitless, but it may be hard to do when there are very small children around.
Wow Fraudz, if only there were more guys like you:)
Mariah, there's another one. Me. ;)
However, I think, the girl/woman should decide herself, if she wants to work or not. It's not the husband's choice in my opinion, but her own.
CM: You think it would be too much for your wife to do the housework and the "professional" work. Well, I believe housework should be shared.
Umer, the Pakistani Brain of Austria
CM and Fraudia,
Why u don’t want ur wife to work?
I think there is nothing wrong. I would like my wife to work and cook and feed me and take care of my kids coz i m too lazy to go to work. so any girl out there looking for my kinda special guy 
Hi, I have a question for the guys here especially Fraudz:
Ok now you say that your wife has a job that is very convenient for both of you and wil also be convenient for the time when you have children. Great, fair enough, I know only too well its benefits as both my sisters are teachers and have kids, and for them teaching is the most convenient profession.
However what if your wife was in the same type of employment you are in, or even in a higher position, who would be expected to leave their job in order to look after the child??( when you had one)
Please be truthful :)
all guys answer please