During rishta process we carefully search of a good match and usually it starts from looking in good families then etc, etc, etc. suppose there is a nice girl, good for you or for a boy of your family but she belongs from a family having bad reputation, will you consider her despite of her being born in a family having no respect to the point it might harm ur own family’s respect.
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Nope. Don’t need to deal with such BS. Would like a nice woman who has led a pretty sheltered existence who thinks babies are delivered by storks.
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Well its not girl’s fault that her family has a bad reputation or is it? Why she has to suffer just because her family has done something bad? No harm in considering the rishta.
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a good thought but i think one would only think like that and hardly would go for it
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^ If that is the case then her family ruined her future for sure.
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Probably not. Desi families can be extremely intrusive. Chances are they could be quite involved in the couples household. Although I must ask is the family just bad reputationed or are they bad people? Respectable families can be full of bad people too.
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^ kind of idiots doing stupid things in sense of we dont care what the world think about us. Having no sense of respect of any kind. Like allowing all type of people to come at home even the type of people one should not even consider to be seen with standing outside the door. You can say poor judgment people, and knowing what neighborhood people are thinking about them they do nothing to repair their reputation just keep on spoiling it, things like these which make one embarrassed to tell if they have any link with them.
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if the family consist of 10 members you cant count any one of them having a good reputation, except that one girl who seems to be holding to that little respect she has. Its hard to tell if she is from the same family rest of the family is like junk. But she’z really different
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many Pakistani consider marriage in families not others its not good we must check good life partner though our own mind.
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Mostly wht i have seen is if a guy wishes to go for someone like that he is being opposed by all his friends and family. just think about it if someone you know is about to get married with her will u not show ur concerns and ask him to think carefully before taking a final step
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such vague questions.
most of the time, its just misunderstandings..so generally speaking YES I would consider and explore options instead of OUTRIGHT plain looking away.
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Can she stay clear of her family for rest of her life? Can contact with her family be avoided after marriage? If yes, then I would consider her, before making sure that she indeed is different than the rest.
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I agree with most of the comments here that its not girls fault. But from another perspective, how would you make sure that the girl by herself isn’t all messed up ? If you are seeing her because of “potential” rishta, don’t you think all the habits, things she will be telling you could be a lie just to tell you that I am a nice person ?
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Guess it depends on where you live. If you are in Pakistan, then it is definitely a no. But if you are living in the West, the family interaction is much less and you can shield your children from them, should be fine. But don’t approach this as ‘damsel-in-distress’. Don’t let the shaitan boost your ego into thinking that you are somehow superior just for marrying her.
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^ i do agree
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a very good point. The thing is that, that girl is not saying anything about herself, this is what people say about her
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^^^Agree..
If the family can be kept at a distance why not give the person a chance..
We can’t help who we’re related to.. I’ve got a couple of fairly difficult family members myself.. That reminds me I need to blog :hinna:
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Let me clear this up a little more. I used to be her classmate in school and she lives in my nearby neighborhood. You can say i know her for the past 17 years or maybe more than that, few of my relatives/friends live nearby her house, i heard almost everyone telling strange stories about that family but when it comes to her they just keep on wondering if she really does belong to that family. She does not socialize much and i think she never made much friends only 2 friends (girls) one of them is mutual friend of mine, so i pretty much have good info on her. Strange thing is that a lot of people dont even know that she is actually from that family and upon knowing they just dont believe it. Even its hard for me to believe
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There is this family their father had an affair. Before nobody knew but now everyone does including his wife. One of his kids is a bit of awargard but the other one is decent & shareef. Their daughter is nice & decent too. But they have a bad reputation just because their father decided to have an affair. I don’t see kids fault in all this.
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that was my reason why i made my earlier comment. If people outside of their circle say that the girl is nice then i don’t think there should be any objection on her. The only thing guy should be worried about that how can he keep her family away from the girl in future. Perhaps, the girl wants the same but because she is a girl, she couldn’t do it by herself. So a strong person who can stand next to her might be something she is looking for to tell her family that I don’t belong to you guys and let me live my life happily.