Will he change?

[Wane]

Re: Will he change?

people advising divorce for each and every bad situation....

This is a common gupshup tradition. This is what most of our women-folk seem to have learnt in the last decade or so.

[Maham]

Re: Will he change?

ok she finds out (which is quite improbable)..then what?? Just a month into marriage......and the girl has to be so IMPATIENT that either she gets what she wants or else its divorce?? do you people think marriage n divorce is childsplay?......she is stuck in a bad situation....instead of encouraging desperation and intolerance and hasty emotional confrontation......people should be advising her some way to solve the problem.....

I am truely amazed at people advising divorce for each and every bad situation....

if things don't work out...she can divorce anytime later......at least she needs to make an effort once or twice before breaking off everything...

...

Who suggested divorce? Definately I didnt. I was just hoping she would figure out soon what the issues are and work on them before its too late to undo the damage. And i think she has been married for a year now not a month hence why i suggested she confronts him and not wait any longer.

[NomiCA]

Re: Will he change?

This is a common gupshup tradition. This is what most of our women-folk seem to have learnt in the last decade or so.

yea man....i think couple of months down the line...same people will advice 'poisoning' the guy too :D

And i think she has been married for a year now not a month

Koi baat nahi.....i know you didn't but others are suggesting it.....:D

[Krypton]

Re: Will he change?

yea man....i think couple of months down the line...same people will advice 'poisoning' the guy too :D

Koi baat nahi.....i know you didn't but others are suggesting it.....:D

divorce is the same as poisoning?

[Nisha25]

Re: Will he change?

please don't think of the big D word or even separation.

divorce and separation are for very very extreme very unfixable situations like abuse(physical/verbal) or some of the extreme situations mentioned in the thread

maybe he's going by the made up negative stereotypical picture people there have of girls/guys that grew up outside of south asia

he just seems to be the type that's still adjusting to his new environment, new wife, new country, new surroundings/people, his and your flaws

i think you're match is good since you seem like somebody that grew up in the country you're living in and he from desiland.

wait and try to do your own thing for now. improve in your field of study, find out the foods he loved in pakistan and make them for him(hope he doesn't say it tastes nothing like the ones he gets in pakistan.... that would suck, still don't lose heart), anyways, good luck and go by the good advice given in the thread to improve your relationship

[mirpurilion]

Re: Will he change?

He watches to much bollywood films and would like a perfect girl such as (Katrina Kaif)

[Maham]

Re: Will he change?

He watches to much bollywood films and would like a perfect girl such as (Katrina Kaif)

Nobody is perfect esp these celebs who go thru 101 procedures on their faces/body and yet need tonnes of make-up, styling and camera techniques to look good. ANYBODY who thinks these celebs are the def of what beauty is then they seriously need help!!! and some of the latest shock therapy :p

[soni27]

Re: Will he change?

DONT confront him n EAT his head .. ur just gona make it worse .. mostly the guys from pak keep whats really botheirng htem inside but they act out n be mean to take that out .. without lettign u know what it really is bcs they expect u to know what u did .. u dont know it but u must have aoffended him in some way ..

n katrina kaif is not waif thin .. she just recently toned herself up for tees maar khan's sheila ki jawani ..

[nabz]

Re: Will he change?

sorry to say, but i think he married you for paperwork.

[Pataka]

Re: Will he change?

you mentioned that he's trying to find a job?

I don't know but maybe that's a huge factor to look at? Men, by nature, are made to work and if he is not able to find a job, maybe that is putting him into some kind of depression? Maybe that is what is ticking him off and causing him to put off his frustrations on you (which is totally not right).

[Jazz89]

Re: Will he change?

I didnt read all replys but I red urs, so this is what I think:

Firstly dont stress too much! Because its been only 1 month, he is still adjusting to marriage life like u are too, so maybe his stress is just bursting out on u.
And If I understood right, he moved from Pakistan to some new country? So new language, new place, new habits, missing family and nothing to do are really is causing him stress. So I would give him time to adjust to all new things.

He might feel little alone there, because his family&friends are far away, and he doesn't after all know u yet so well to trust u 100% and maybe its hard to talk to u about worries. But trust will come with time, so im sure he will open to u at some point when he is ready and u are ready.

I think when he has job, friends and maybe some hobbies it will change a lot. After all he is a man, and at least usually men has stress about financial stuff so maybe he just has a lot worries and thats why he is pushing u away.

I agree and im sorry to say that he is a jerk because he says those things to you and he shouldn't criticizes u that much, but give him some time because if he was happy with this marriage and happy with u before, so I think he says those things just because of new things in his life. And really a lot is changed in his life.

Like u said that u dont want divorce or separation so only solution now is really to give him time, and if his behavior doesn't change tell him your worries and ask him that whats wrong, because u are going to spend rest of your life with him so u should feel comfortable being with him, and not always think whats wrong with u.

And please dont make that mistake and have baby yet. You two should build first bond and trust for each other before even thinking about babies!

And what comes to bedroom-life, u shouldn't worry about that because u are still getting to know each other and u dont have 100% trust or bond yet, I think even u are husband and wife u shouldn't do anything which feels uncomfortable and If u are not ready then u are not.

So my answer is Time is everything right now! Good luck :)

But yeah this was only my opinion.

[Lady_Gaga]

Re: Will he change?

An update after 7 years and two beautiful kids! We still have our differences but now things are pretty ok. He loves our kids and is a great father. He is not the kind of person who accept changes so quickly, that includes change of place and job and people. He still have a problem with my dressing, which in my opinion is pretty modest compared to what other girls wear. But i guess he has accepted that. He has many good qualities too along with a few bad ones.

I was not once but many times on the verge of breaking up. Every relationship needs time.

I last logged in *Oct 7th, 2011 *

[Iconoclast]

Re: Will he change?

Good for you, but don’t get laid back and take things for granted. Both should keep working on the relationship.

[LP]

Re: Will he change?

@Lady_Gaga

An update after 7 years and two beautiful kids! We still have our differences but now things are pretty ok. He loves our kids and is a great father. He is not the kind of person who accept changes so quickly, that includes change of place and job and people. He still have a problem with my dressing, which in my opinion is pretty modest compared to what other girls wear. But i guess he has accepted that. He has many good qualities too along with a few bad ones.

I was not once but many times on the verge of breaking up. Every relationship needs time.

I last logged in *Oct 7th, 2011 *

[aqua70]

Re: Will he change?

Yay, glad it all worked out.

[SID_NY]

Re: Will he change?

@Lady_Gaga

An update after 7 years and two beautiful kids! We still have our differences but now things are pretty ok. He loves our kids and is a great father. He is not the kind of person who accept changes so quickly, that includes change of place and job and people. He still have a problem with my dressing, which in my opinion is pretty modest compared to what other girls wear. But i guess he has accepted that. He has many good qualities too along with a few bad ones.

I was not once but many times on the verge of breaking up. Every relationship needs time.

I last logged in *Oct 7th, 2011 *

Welcome back. I know the concerts kept you tied up

Hope you hang around

[Lady_Gaga]

Re: Will he change?

@SID_NY

Welcome back. I know the concerts kept you tied up

Hope you hang around

haha.. you know how it is! Not easy being a gaga.

[Lady_Gaga]

Re: Will he change?

Thankyou

[Bella123]

Re: Will he change?

@Lady_Gaga

i know i try to keep a distance but im the kind who likes to cuddle and snuggle up. I wont do anything big, i would just stay quiet and be stressed and depressed, i barely discuss my personal life with anyone.

I arranged our honeymoon and he went as far as saying this is not honeymoon for him.. his honeymoon was the time he spent in pak with his family after marriage. That was sooo heartbreaking that i cudnt look at him for a day. He would just say things like that. I love him, if only he be a little considerate towards me.

I am really happy that it worked out good for you.