Re: Wife's Earnings
my husband doesnt know how much i spend on shoes...
and clothes
and makeup
and jewelery
and food.
my (literally) POOR husbanned. :(
Actually well...NO.. its the money I earn from my own job that i spend like crazy.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Yep. Because women go through such a dangerous risk so YOU can pass on YOUR name, she deserved quite a bit in return.
Sadzz if that is your choice then fine. But islamically you are not obligated and you can keep aside some fir youself and your husband has no say in that.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Our earnings go in a joint account. He NEVER stops me from spending. I'm usually the one who is second-guessing whether it is a necessary purchase (mine or his).
Re: Wife's Earnings
I agree with some if the girls here. I doubt any of you partake equally in cleaning, cooking, and raising your kids. That's all womans work. So she has to do all your housework, put up with YOUR famy, and fork over money to you as well?? What gaoon did some of you come from?
Yep. Because women go through such a dangerous risk so YOU can pass on YOUR name, she deserved quite a bit in return.
Sadzz if that is your choice then fine. But islamically you are not obligated and you can keep aside some fir youself and your husband has no say in that.
obviously islamically we are not obligated. But what im saying is, i dont think there is anything wrong if the hubz uses "your" money. I mean, like Sara said, my hubz has no idea how much money i spend on my own fazool kharche.. but as soon as i get something for him, its another story.
khair, yeah, its my choice.. and its because i dont like things kept from me.. hence i dont keep anything from him
I agree with some if the girls here. I doubt any of you partake equally in cleaning, cooking, and raising your kids. That's all womans work. So she has to do all your housework, put up with YOUR famy, and fork over money to you as well?? What gaoon did some of you come from?
dont want to disagree with u...
lekin, look at it from another point of view... what if the guy doesnt quite want a kid right now, but the wifey dearest is adamant that she have one.. so he agrees and they have one... so the wife has pressured him into having a kid.. or more kids...
does the duty not then fall on the woman to help provide for the children? what if the wifey wants to have u know 2+ kids... doesnt work.. and the load goes on the hubby... i know everyone will give u the whole lecture on... "Allah sab detha hai..." but really..... what does the hubby do then?
damn... lady, you have a serious victim complex...
anyway, firstly, like I said - no kids for me... so, there's no need for the woman to take this dangerous risk for my "name" as you put it...
secondly, if I do end up having a kid, who gives a fk about "my name". the kid can have her name for all I care... it wouldn't just be my kid - it would be our kid (if there was one). I'm not obsessed with my name and passing it on. who cares. the vast majority of ppl who are keen on having their name passed on and having a waaris are exactly the kind of people this world needs less of and not more of. if someone was the next Faiz, Edhi, Imran, etc I could understand why it might be a good idea for them to have a kid... but if you're an ordinary couch potato, then, I don't understand the obsession with creating more of yourself as if the world is going to crumble without more of you.
and lastly, not all Pakistani men are lazy dumbasses. some of us have lived away from home for extended periods where we cooked (okay ate out a lot) and cleaned after ourselves. not all Pakistani men are looking for slaves/maids/baby makers.
Re: Wife's Earnings
One of the rare occasions I find myself agreeing with the feminazi gang. Wifes earnings are for her to keep and should never be relied upon in running a households.
Unfortunately, we see more and more desi families in urban cities of U.S having forced into dual incomes, inorder to maintain certain living standard. This results in a lot of pressure on the females and not everyone can juggle that with the household responsiblities.
Re: Wife's Earnings
I kind of agree with the ladies on this. In my opinion i wouldn't want to have a share in what my wife is earning. I would pay the bills and whatever costs of runing our household from what I earn. If my wife wants to buy something for the household or any member of the house from what she earns that I feel its unfair of me to deny her the feeling of happiness that u get from spending what you worked hard for on people that you love. On the same token i would never encourage her to do that. Obviously this all changes if we are going through a financial crisis and I wouldn't mind asking my wife for help.
This thread is exactly why Pakistan is the third world crapola ride that it is.
Women cannot come into the thread and participate in a discussion that impacts them? Really now?
Islamically, she does not have to cook or clean for you. Islamically, prophet Muhammed worked as an employee for his first wife and never demanded that she turn over the earnings to him. The Surah Nisa excerpt has been posted.
I know it sounds unfair but the risks and pain of childbirth balance it out. You men should be grateful to have a partner who even cares about you despite your greediness over her wealth. Grateful she sires YOUR spawn. that's payment enough.
Some1 care to explain me this post. Did she^ not read the replies on the first page. Like OMG.
You know how you will never be able to repay your mother for what she went through when she gave birth to you? These ladies you are talking to and about are/will be those mothers. Raising a child is not a 9 - 5 job, its a 24 hour job with no overtime, benefits, instant gratification, etc. What she goes through for 9 months, during and even after childbirth is more then you can imagine or fathom. Rather then trivializing child birth, I would think you might appreciate because thats exactly how YOU got here and are able to write what you did.
A woman gave birth to you…something you will NEVER be able to compensate her for.
Yes, she deserves to keep her money if she earns it. Islam says it, Allah swt says it and you dont agree with it?
Regardless of all this, I dont know a single woman who actually exercises all of her Islamic rights by keeping her money and not sharing it. Every woman I know contributes if she works in some way.
Re: Wife's Earnings
LMAO! Thank you for the membership. I am very pleased to be a card carrying member of WOMEN.
Yes, she deserves to keep her money if she earns it. Islam says it, Allah swt says it and you dont agree with it?
meetha meetha hup hup, karwa karwa thOO thOO
Islam says many other things about women's role towards household and her duties towards husband too ..... Why is that Islam comes in when it comes to woman's earned money? and day-care comes in when it comes to raising the kids because "oh I want to pursue the career so I cant take care of kids"
For example we dont have to search hard to come up with past threads about 4 marriages. You will find all kind of explanations about oh why we should not do it, how its unfair and how its the order for that era and not this.
I am all for what Islam says but it has to be applied on both. No "pick and choose" implementation. Someone please make me understand.
PS: and before someone throws a personal comment on me, let me tell you. My wife has worked, she has volunteered and she has stayed home to raise kids. I did not take her salary and I did (happily) pick up the daycare tag too. But obviously I think that it would have been perfectly OK for me to ask for contribution.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Funny how all of us, men as well as women, use Islam where it suits us and shunt it out where it doesn't. We are mostly secular, living in secular states, inspired by secular ideals, striving for secular goals ... so seriously, we don't and shouldn't need religion to justify our point of views.
^ do you plan on pushing a 9 pounder Pakistani Bacha out of your ding dong?
Until then, there is no equality. We as women deserve the cushiest life we can have.
wow you made it looks like ugly as a sin - so can we presume here that ya women are only uptight , up and down like a tower bridge about this money issue as some how you gotta push out a kid outta yr undercarriage ?
Re: Wife’s Earnings
May I suggest that samb and pcg spend some time getting to know one another?
Re: Wife's Earnings
pyari ki aay gi barat
rangeeli ho gi raat.
bari larai ho gi phir.
Re: Wife's Earnings
Its funny how men use Islam when it comes to marrying 4 women...its okay for them to do that.
Its funny how men use Islam to limit a woman and tell her to stay home and raise children and do that ONLY...its okay for them to do that.
Its funny how men demand cooked food, laundered clothes, etc thinking its THEIR RIGHT when its technically a favor...its okay for them to do that.
Its even funnier how men start to squeal when women try to exercise their God-given rights...I smell insecurity...and it stinks.
Re: Wife's Earnings
^ I guess feeling is mutual :)
as I said, Islam was brought right in by women here while its stays out when it comes to 4 marriages and other things coz then "aaaj k zamaney main aisa nahee hota" plays in.
anyways, lets agree to disagree :)
Re: Wife's Earnings
Aaj ke zamaney mein ho ya na ho.
I dont know of a woman who shirks her responsibilities as a wife or mother to pursue her career.
Can you find a single thread on these forums where a woman is crying because she has to take care of her kid and husband and is not able to pursue her career? Most women do this happily.
In almost every family, couples compromise and work something out. Women compromise on their right to work, keep their income and demand extra house help. Men compromise on a fresh hot meal every single night and 4 wives. Why do men get so upset when a woman exercises her rights?
Islam is definitely brought in where 4 wives are concerned. Can you do justice with each and every single one of them? That is the only time when even more then one wife is allowed. If you cant do justice, you cant have 4 wives. Aur aaj ke zamaney mein aisa ho hi nahin sakta ke aam insaan chaar biviyon ke saat insaaf karsakey. Aap mardon se ek nahin sambhali jaati hai, chaar karne chale hein.