Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
I really don't understand the logic of some people. This woman cheated and everyone is making excuses for her? Infidelity is infidelity regardless of whether it is committed by a man or a woman and regardless of the "reasons" they may have for being unfaithful.
It's ironic that people are stating that people shouldn't discuss it or make a big deal out of it because it may affect the children/child. When a woman posts on here about her husband cheating (or even simply suspecting that he is cheating), people do not show such restraint when discussing the man nor do they advocate it, even when the woman mentions that there are children involved. Another point that gets thrown around in the case of male infidelity is that the woman should divorce the man because infidelity and tolerating infidelity sets a bad example for the children. Does that not apply here?
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
I really don't understand the logic of some people. This woman cheated and everyone is making excuses for her? Infidelity is infidelity regardless of whether it is committed by a man or a woman and regardless of the "reasons" they may have for being unfaithful.
It's ironic that people are stating that a people shouldn't discuss it or make a big deal out of it because it may affect the children. When a woman posts on here about her husband cheating (or even simply suspecting that he is cheating), people do not show such restraint when discussing the man nor do they advocate it, even when the woman mentions that there are children involved. Another point that gets thrown around in the case of male infidelity is that the woman should divorce the man because infidelity and tolerating infidelity sets a bad example for the children. Does that not apply here?
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
But what do I know, I am just a perverted guy who can only think about sex.
You said it, I didn't. I think people just have a hard time understanding what i'm saying in my post. I say it has nothing to do with gender but somehow you see it as "yes it has everything to do with gender, women are innocent, men are lusty perverts". I think we're basically saying the same thing but I'm writing english but somehow some of you want to argue for no reason. I'm outta this thread.
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
For those of you getting all hot and bothered about me saying women cheat for many reasons, let me ease your pain: men also cheat for many reasons. It is a well known fact that most cheating women start with emotional affairs and they start at their workplace. Tell me I am wrong. With that said, most cheating men cheat if they don't get it at home. Cheating men will most likely get physical before cheating women would. Telk me I am wrong. It doesn't mean one reason is better than the other. Nor does it mean men are perverts.
In an unhappy marriage, both partners are equally likely to cheat or not cheat. It is just a matter of finding the right person to cheat with. Another fact: intimacy is different for men and women. Women have sex when they feel emotionally connected. For most men, they need sex to feel closer to their partner.Men can separate love from sex. Most women cannot. It becomes a recipe for disaster when wives withhold sex until they feel connected and men withhold emotions until they have sex. All is done subconsciously but it ends in divorce or cheating. A marriage hardly ever fails due to one partner. It takes two to make it and break it.
Now this is where you should really get offended: some of you men whine like little girls. Grow the hell up!
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
Not true. One person is at more fault!
For those of you getting all hot and bothered about me saying women cheat for many reasons, let me ease your pain: men also cheat for many reasons. It is a well known fact that most cheating women start with emotional affairs and they start at their workplace. Tell me I am wrong. With that said, most cheating men cheat if they don't get it at home. Cheating men will most likely get physical before cheating women would. Telk me I am wrong. It doesn't mean one reason is better than the other. Nor does it mean men are perverts.
In an unhappy marriage, both partners are equally likely to cheat or not cheat. It is just a matter of finding the right person to cheat with. Another fact: intimacy is different for men and women. Women have sex when they feel emotionally connected. For most men, they need sex to feel closer to their partner.Men can separate love from sex. Most women cannot. It becomes a recipe for disaster when wives withhold sex until they feel connected and men withhold emotions until they have sex. All is done subconsciously but it ends in divorce or cheating. A marriage hardly ever fails due to one partner. It takes two to make it and break it.
Now this is where you should really get offended: some of you men whine like little girls. Grow the hell up!
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
I don't think I completely understand what further trauma might be visited upon the child.
His mother has abandoned him. He already knows that she has established a home away from his father.
Please......tell him to let his parents know what happened in a discreet way and ask them to keep it to themselves.
Let him get his divorce, move on with his life and set a positive example for his son.
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
A person choosing to walk away from a marriage where they haven't been treated well shouldn't be seen as part of the reason it didn't work out either..
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
[QUOTE]
In an unhappy marriage, both partners are equally likely to cheat or not cheat.
[/QUOTE]
Likely to cheat is not same as cheating. And cheating is not same as breaking a marriage. A lot of spouses ( specially women ) stay married even after the other cheats. While it might be true it takes two to break the marriage, the person who is cheating is solely responsible for their actions. It doesn't matter how they justify it. Blaming others is not what mature people do. They take responsibility for their actions. If they are not mature enough to do that, then they don't have any business marrying or bearing kids. While most of the things you said are true in general, but in this case, there is no way you can tell us that this woman is not in the wrong and that the husband is to blame for it.
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
^Did I say they are the thing? I never said the cheating partner is not responsible for his/her actions. I also never said that this woman is not in the wrong. As a matter of fact, I stated first that she should be exposed because of her actions.
I don't understand why some of you guys read between the lines.
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
Some people cheat because they're bored.. or just because the opportunity arises.. Some people beat their partners..
I don't think it's fair to say usually both are at fault when it comes to marriages failing..
Like I said hardly ever end due to one person. If you look at most divorces, it is usually both partners in the wrong. Have you ever heard a marriage counselor talk? There is always another side to a story, depends who you want to believe.
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
Extramartial affair and in wedlock.You guys think life is so easy like there are no consequences?There is no room for extramarital affair in our religion.
I cannot comprehend the value of such a man who went to such lengths for the sake of his child.Even accepting divorce under such circumstances what an angelic soul he has.
But i am not in favor of this.I would have tried that ***** in a court of law under hudood ordinance.People never cared for the wisdom in Islamic punishment,if the state would have followed them by book no one could have dared to commit such acts.
Its a shame this nation has learnt nothing after all these years of independence,we are the degenerates who were blessed with a default religion Islam and this is what we do..
Re: wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family
What the husband is doing is the best thing. It will help him move on faster, rather getting dragged into the drama that his wife's actions have created in his life. And he will help his child in this manner as well.
However, if he decided to expose the reasons for the divorce, it would be okay and understandable. I really respect his restraint and forward-thinking.
