wife had extramarital affair... what to tell family

[Ghost14]

Re: wife had extramarital affair… what to tell family

@Paheli00

Well obviously the husband…who actually knows his own mother and his extended family…seems to disagree with you.

Of course the son has been damaged. I acknowledged that earlier. But does that mean its perfectly ok to create a situation where he could experience more emotional trauma?

Actually the husband’s desire to protect her secret stems from his unwillingness to deal with it. OP specifically states that he doesn’t want to talk about it because his mother will ask too many questions. When is suppressing a traumatizing situation the healthy way to go? Again, if a woman was protecting her philandering husband, and unwilling to deal with the issue, would you give the same advice?

The son will find out, one way or another, that his mother left them when he was younger. The wife has already moved out. He will ask questions regarding what happened. What should his father say then? Protect her? Why should he? Would a cheating man be protected in this way? If she shows remorse and wishes to atone then the husband and wife can work together to explain to the child that she made a mistake, as humans are prone to do. Otherwise, it’s the same old desi face-saving that normally exists in the favour of men, which we are all in favour of abolishing. Surprisingly, many are using the same excuse that people sometimes give abused women: it’s for the kids.