Why????

Why do desi elders seem to think that divorce runs in the blood? For example if one sister is Divorced then the next sister in line to marry will have serious difficulty in being accepted by potential in laws on the basis of “well if one sister couldn’t keep in a relationship then what chance of this one being any better?” I think I could have put that quote a bit better, but you understand what I mean don’t you? Why do they think like that. It’s very unfair don’t you think? Also alot of the times in these situations the guy hardly gets a say does he? or if he does then he’ll typically just meekly fall in the background and prove he’s got no backbone. What do you reckon?

Re: Why????

Ofcourse its not fair but we as human beings take all fingers of the hand to be the same even though that's so not the case. Anyway, goodluck.

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thats their fear i guess.

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thats a pretty big generalisation when it comes to the guy lekin oohh well.

Khair i hope no one goes thru this but it is unfortunate but sadly it is a truth where our society dictates these things :D

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OH I know what you mean! People tend to think like that. My sister's first marriage was a miserable one and when she decided to go for a khula, a lot of people pointed out that she has younger sisters who's life would be effected by it!! She went for it anyways and a good thing for all of us!

IT all depends on 'naseeb' though people judge you on things that you have nothing to do with.

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unfortunately thats a sad part of our community and u can't really do much else but to deal with it

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they think it runs in the family when & if the family agreed with the daughters deciision thats that her marriage was too hard to hhandle so she took the easyy way out..its not that fair but i sort of understand where theyre coming from..

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^ How is divorce the easy way out? Divorce is never easy for any woman or her family. Its men who find it easy to take divorce and yet they dont get discriminated against. How come?

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yeah its hard but she makes it hard..look at girlz in pkstn..they put up with everythig ..so strong..but they wont get divorce

uv seen stuck up girlz breaking rlshns over stupidest stuff..

nywyzz..its the womans loss either way

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grabs his devil horns and red cape Time to play devil's advocate.

Children are a product of their upbringing and the manners in which they grow up. Though brothers and sisters are similar in many ways, they are individuals. But their upbringing is the same. The same moral values and the same standards in life. That means they have similar views on what they want out of life and expect similar things from their spouses.

These issues could be very core reasons to trivial stuff. But once there is a bad or a failed marriage, it comes down to what people want out of life. Those could be issues the sisters have.

Basically if one girl is a *****. Probability is pretty high her sister is as well.

Because if the girl's family couldn't prevent their eldest from escaping a deleted rishta, what hope have they of preventing the younger sister from fleeing an even deleted one?

Who would want to marry into a family with such a mentality, anyway? If a family's primary concern when choosing a rishta is whether she'll consider divorcing their son, there's definitely something wrong with either the son or the family itself (something thaalak-worthy, no doubt).

well I dont believe in divorce running in the family, but I do know of one case of two sisters... the elder one divorced (and I dont know the circumstances) and the second one did too, within 6 months of her marriage.

I knew the family the second one married into, and the guy's family was amazing....the divorce occurred because they were having some small problems (nothing huge that couldnt have been solved)...things got a lot better, the girl visited Pakistan, her and her husband were talking on the phone and everything and all of a sudden, her parents sent divorce papers over in order to "intimidate" the guy's family.

The guy's family got so angry at that move that they just fulfilled the divorce. It really made me think that the parents of the girls had not taught them sabr. Don't get me wrong, I dont think women should just put up with crap in order to prevent a divorce, BUT I do think a major part of a successful marriage is compromise on both sides.

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I've never understood the divorce running in the family thing, wish these stupid superstitions would get wiped out more quickly, they cause so much misery..

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Desi elder think everything runs in blood.
Ankeen amma key hain ( you eyes came/inherited from your mother)
Ball abba kay hain ( you hairs came/inherited from your dad)
Nikker baray bhai ka hay (your underwear came/inherited from your brother) :mad:
:silly:

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so we're talking about sisters here...does ithe perception change when it comes to two brothers r a brother and a sister?