If you live in Pakistan, why would you not want to send rishta/rishtay to larkian in Pakistan? Why would you even consider someone abroad?
Similarly, why would you want your kids to get married to someone back home? Why not where you live?
I thought the kids living/raised abroad are looked down upon because they could be bad/not raised well, yet you have people from back home sending rishtay for people outside of Pakistan.
Why not get married in the city/country you live in? Why look for people in other geographical areas?
I dont know why kids "raised abroad" are considered not to be raised well. Surely they will be raised differently but that doesnt mean that they arent raised WELL.
My sons are still so young. But they will be raised in USA. For my eldest, I'd like a rishta from Pak that will feel happy to cook for him and make a nice home with him. For my middle boy, he will be happier with a western-type woman, he's so social and gregarious. The youngest is too young yet to figger out what will be best for him. Its funny how you look at this situation so very differently when you're a parent. So very many things to consider.
Its usually a two-way effort saadiyah. Generally an attempt by both set of parents to strengthen their ties with one another by getting their kids married with one another. That is usually why these marraiges take place to start with. In some cases its the Pakistan based family's lottery ticket to get their kid out of Pakistan too, hopefully for a better life.
Generally speaking they think kids raised abroad are considered awara because of the environment they're living in.
I could sort of understand desis abroad trying to get their kids married back home because supposedly those living in Pakistan are family-oriented and shareef log, which I don't quite agree with.
What boggles my mind is duur daraz kay rishtaydaar and the unknowns trying to hook up their sons with those living abroad.
Femme, it's not always the two sides trying to strengthen their ties. It's often trying to find a good match for the kids from here to someone back home because they are the better ones. To me, those who try to find rishtas for their sons abroad are most likely looking for a lottery ticket as you suggested. I honestly see no other reason. I've been told such is not always the case, but I cannot seem to figure out any other valid reason.
My parents want to find a guy there simply because they don’t have the large social network here.. if htey were to search here they’d hav to do the whoel newspaper ad thing and my mom even said i’m better off finding someone on my own.
When they look in pakistan, they dont want to bring up that I 'm NOT gonna live in Pak, so that way they can weed out all the creeps who want me just for a greencard. I think it’s decietful but it makes sense as to why i should do that.. i dunno..:halo:
And it REALLY pisses me off when people say that girls raised here are not good, wuld make bad wives etc etc.. stupid desi fags who think that way
arranged marriage are not about feelings, and love…they are about money and social status! so the answer to the question why do someone in pak want his son/daughter married to somone abroad is: visa, greencard, money!
What could be some possible other reasons other than the green card/citizenship (this seems to be the sole and prime reason to me)? I'm curious to know.
I have to agree that a visa out is the primary reason for folks in Pakistan wanting to snag a rishta abroad (and this applies to both the guys and gals there)....but I have to wonder if a "better life" and "more opportunity" are really fantasies.
I mean, it's difficult to move out of Pakistan and not improve the quality of your life....isn't it?
Sad but very true. Which is the main reason for marrying off people abroad. It’s a win win situation, if a girl gets sent abroad she will have a good life and if a boy gets sent abroad he will have a chance at a decent career. The mismatches that can occur are hardly given any thought in our materialistic setup.
Now the other way around where people opt to marry back home is more complex. Men usually do it because either they have been pressured by family to marry someone in the family OR they feel they will be more suited to women back home. It’s been my experience that women abroad rarely are comfortable with the idea of marrying someone from back home. It is again usually because of pressure from parents who feel the girls risk “getting out of hand” or to oblige relatives in the family.
With desi marriages it is imperative to understand the needs/wants of the actual bride groom are secondary to those of the family. Aren’t we a screwed up bunch
It’s not always the easiest for the guys to move and settle abroad. Often times their degrees from back home aren’t completely recognized and then they have to often start with very low level jobs. It takes a while before they can fully adjust to the system here and get a decent job.
Also, it isn’t always because ‘the larki is getting out of hand’ that parents start looking elsewhere. Quite often you have people from back home sending rishtas out of nowhere and parents here are always under the assumption that people back home are very shareef and probably the nicest they can possibly come across.
I don’t think it’s always the females abroad who aren’t comfortable with the idea of getting married back home. I believe it would be more or less the same for desi males raised abroad.
lussi bhai, there are plenty of reasonably god-fearing FOB larkian abroad as well. The not-so-corrupt FOBS could also be interested in finding someone from within their geographical region than from someone back home.
and my mom even said i’m better off finding someone on my own.
