Re: why should we adjust?
I agree that women should make themselves strong economically, however that does not mean that they will not have to adjust even still…
men or women…everyone has to adjust… woh insaan hi kya jis k mizaaj mein flexibility nahin… whether its marriage or the work place or life circumstances in general everyone and i mean everyone has to adjust to something or another and one point or another in their lives …you either say alhamdulillah and have the flexibility in ur character to adjust or you will break…there is no ifs ands or buts about it
i disagree with you…and at the same time i agree
everyone should stand up for their rights (men and women) but adjusting is not a sign of weakness…on the contrary it is a sign of great strength and stamina
the only thing you should not adjust to is physical abuse baaqi you should have the strength in character to be able to adjust to anything (that is called being grateful to Allah under any circumstances)
^agree
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…I wish that we women would stop making ourselves victims, and instead show the flexibility, stamina, and strength in character to graciously accept whatever circumstance we are in …unless we are TRULY being oppressed in which case we show the spine to stand up for ourselves…
but the problem arises when we (1) think everything is oppression and want to fight everything and/or (2) think that there is something wrong with being flexible or that it is somehow a sign of weakness that will lead to (further) oppression
not everything is oppression , some things are the facts of life and has nothing to do with someone trying to treat you like a doormat
there is nothing wrong with being flexible and it is not a sign of weakness - far from it…it is actually a sign of strength and a gracious attitude towards the blessings Allah has bestowed upon us which we fail to see because we are to busy whining about the so called oppression we are subjected to when that ‘oppression’ might just be a fact of life … it would behoove us to stop thinking that the world is out to get us… our life partners and their families have nothing against us…they have no reason to be unnecessarily evil…they may do things we dont like just like our own brothers and sisters and parents might but that does not mean they are deliberately trying to dominate us (paranoid schizophrenia anyone?)
plz if we all went into our new lives with the attitude that our in laws are gonna lock us in the kitchen and set fire to us…we’ll make life hell for ourselves…why not be grateful for the blessings Allah has bestowed on us and try to learn to live with the differences in personalities of each other and make life happier and easier for everyone (including ourselves).
and nadz plz dont think this is a personal attack on you…it isnt…im just trying to make anyone who is having a rough time at the in laws see it a little differently…
i dont deny that there can be some real issues but at the same time i see mountains being made out of mole hills way too often-it would be wonderful if we tried to move away from doing that