My personal observation is even if they got married , most ended up in divorce some in a couple of years some after 10 years and some after 25 years. Very few remain intact for life . I do not interfere in personal lives of others so never asked them what happened. For example my BIL married a gori and they got divorced after about 5 years. He and his new Pakistani wife are living with me for now during his transition from one job to another but I never brought this subject into conversation with him .
I would be interested to know the reasons behind those divorces. Can anybody shed some light on the subject ? “why most of these relationships/marriages end ?”
P.S:
I saw this thread Pakistani dude and white girls , I did not want to derail that thread so I am opening this one.
Re: Why Pakistani dude and white girls/women end up in divorce ?
Mirch I am telling you desi/gori marriages goes extremely well. I still think I should marry this gory when I met her in school. I remember I went from North Dakota (in -40 cold) to California on car. We stayed at omaha, cheyenne, salt lake city and reno all the way going to California. It was a damn good trip I remember. :)
hi 5 lady! Your hubby is indeed lucky to have such a dedicated wife. In fact we should learn something from you :hinna:
Mirch bhai, I used to feel the same way too, but I have noticed that marriages between desis and gora/goris are working out great these days. In fact I personally know 3 families like that and they have awesome marriages and a great hometeam. I guess it used to happen in the past where marriages like those happened for visa status reasons and no love was involved. It was more of an arrangement if you may, they stuck, had kids and went their separate ways. Now, people take time to seriously weigh the relationship and understand it better.
Re: Why Pakistani dude and white girls/women end up in divorce ?
Marriages alone are DIFFICULT and then you add all these cultural differneces its even harder. But I think if the couple is dedicated and they put enough into it, it can work out.
We'll celebrate our 17th anniversary this year, alhamdulillah. We have a lot of friends who are also in mixed race marraiges, and the divorce rate is very low.
Divorces between men/women raised here and men/women from "back home" is a real concern in our community.
Any marriage takes a lot of hard work, communication, and commitment to make it work, regardless of where the couple is from. If a couple has similar values, then cultural differences are not difficult to overcome (crazy in-laws are another matter, LOL).
My thread is not based on my feelings, it is based on my personal observations. I also know many interracial couples who are happily married for decades now , but more got divorced and as I said some after couple of years some after decades even after the kids got grown up and the nest was empty. If you read my first post I am not generalizing. I was trying to find out what might have gone wrong in those which did not work out.
Re: Why Pakistani dude and white girls/women end up in divorce ?
Maybe their out-laws moved in, (just kidding - mine have been here since February, so my patience is wearing a little thin).
I'm not sure how many couples you know, so I can't make any generalizations about what went wrong. Many couples do grow apart when the kids leave home. Oftentimes they were never close to begin with, and the only thing holding the relationship together was the children. It is very important that children realize that the husband/wife relationship is the central relationship in the family, and the glue that holds the family together, but I'll save that for another thread.
I would guess that if you investigated further, you would find that these couples split for the same reasons some of your desi friends have divorced - money, loss of trust, lack of interest in continuing the relationship, and so on. Culture probably has very little to do with it.
On a fair average more than half of desi/gora marriages , we observe , are in act for acquiring the citizenship /nationality of a foreign country ..
Huge cultural differences and personal preferences are often scarified in this specific quest .
But sooner and later ( oftentimes just after getting every thing done ) , Desi males get paranoid about that** hecatomb** they have made …
And you know the aftermath .. I don’t have to go there ….
According to many I personally met , unfortunately, preach the same theory …
When you can get a 20 years old virgin from india /Pakistan / Bangladesh on basis of your nationality , why stick yourself with a 40th years old Gori mayaim
Wesay bi MushtaQ Ahmed Yousufi once wrote :
*Yun tu GoRoon mein Badsurat aurtain kaam hi kaam hotee haiN … lakin humaRa Pakistani unko dhund’kar unhi se Shadi kartah hai *
*Yun tu GoRoon mein Badsurat aurtain kaam hi kaam hotee haiN … lakin humaRa Pakistani unko dhund’kar unhi se Shadi kartah hai *
He is damn right , isn’t he ?
Yeh Mushtaq Ahmed ka hasad tha jiss nay unko yeh likhnay per majboor kia warna Pakistani gorion k husn hee pay to mar mit ta hay .
rahi baat sabz pattay k lee a shadi karnay key tus uss ka anjam toh yeh hona hee hay.
