^ Actually in many cases the bride and groom split the cost down the middle...
See the thing with white people is, they don't change their behaviour for fear of what OTHER people will think/say, because their community doesn't gossip like ours!
Why do you think pakis have half the traditions we do? It's because we have to "keep face" in front of others. If things are not done a certain way "batain bunaing gee"
Seriously 90% of the stupid paki rules/traditions/backwards gestures would be eliminated if we just stop giving a rats *** of what other people will think!
^ WELL SAID. My wedding preparations have been a nightmare because of people having set ideas on what should and should not happen in a wedding. Combine that with me marrying into a family that's not from the same background as my family and it creates so many problems. Every group in Pakistan, whether they are Muhajir, Punjabi or whatever, has their idea of what side does what in a wedding...who gives the shaadi jora, who pays for the makeup, what is given in a bari... thank God my parents have been cooperative and my in-laws are so determined to end a lot of dumb traditions. They are adamant that we give no jehez, nothing to the extended relatives, no furniture and that we combine functions...they want this because they are a religious family mashaAllah.
Rather than see it this way, my extended relatives are what WHAT you're combining functions?! and they think we are trying to save money. I really don't get that...even a middle class family from the West could afford a decent, multi-event wedding in Pakistan, why would it be about saving money? A lot of the time, doing things according to the sunnat (like having your nikkah in a masjid) are frowned upon there.
even things like mehr are made as an opportunity to show off, people will demand a ton of money at the nikkah (to say ohh he gave soo much on mehr) but then the girl never even gets that money because rather than see it as a gift from the bride-groom, they use it as protection from divorce. i've never quite understood that...someone who wants to divorce you won't think twice before doing it, and even if they give that money to you, it won't make you feel better.