omyGOD! loli and others… i am sorry but i have to vent!
What the hell is wrong with people in Pakistan!!! After reading these threads over the past 2 years on GS, AND hearing about such stories in real life has got me convinced that the nation is immensely consumed by GREED! Both males and females of all ages!!!
Brides are wanting/demanding/expecting baris and jehez, Grooms are not far behind, In-Laws just seem possessed to me. Geeez! Real life stories are revolving in the community AND YET no one claims that they are doing something wrong.
TO all the future grooms!!
YOU, the HUSBANDS are responsible for providing the cars, the bedroom set, the china, the misc furniture, anything and everything that YOU and YOUR wife will need after you are married…even the needle/thread required for fixing your “loose button” goodness! how can you men sleep at night thinking that bed you are laying on was paid by some senior citizen’s life savings!!!
Girls!
Buy what you NEED and can afford! quit browsing/copying other brides! buy the outfits and jewels you know will wear, and will not be a burden physically and financially! what will you do with 101010101010 outfits?? just buy things as you need? its ridiculous to buy EVERYTHING at once!
InLaws
Ok, we know you are possessed, but try to be nice..and leave the newly weds alone for sometime, let them adjust to each other, who knows people may not complain…and like you for once..gasp
And please, let your son feel how it is to be a responsible, mature man, a wife is a blessing, be happy when he respects the woman…and quit poking her like she is some sort of a circus animal.
Alvena, we really need to speak up, let ourselves be heard! I dont blame any one group entirely..but some are at more fault..women are either too quiet and submissive or too blunt and carefree. I have serious doubts that education has played any part in our training as mature adults! I honestly think good and genuine "tarbiyeat" lacks...and the effects are very much apparent.
You should start a non profit NGO to unite like minded people and try to eradicate all these evils from our society and country.
MaWaDaG (men and women against greed and dowry) can be the name of that NGO.
I so should! and I like that name! Weddings should be taken as a union of a couple, not the beginning of a bankruptcy…
For others…who are comfortable with their mysteriously fat wallets…no wonder corruption has been overlooked for so many years in our country…its because everyone wants to get a piece of something…so that they may use it for show and tell while getting their daughter/sons married off…
*fathers are responsible for providing for their CHILDREN , not mamus and mamis chachas chachis etc of the groom! what the heck! Who is coming up with these rules?? and who oks them??
I am very disappointed in pakistani guys, where are they when such ridiculous demands are being made??
I so should! and I like that name! Weddings should be taken as a union of a couple, not the beginning of a bankruptcy....
For others...who are comfortable with their mysteriously fat wallets...no wonder corruption has been overlooked for so many years in our country...its because everyone wants to get a piece of something....so that they may use it for show and tell while getting their daughter/sons married off...
*fathers are responsible for providing for their CHILDREN , not mamus and mamis chachas chachis etc of the groom! what the heck! Who is coming up with these rules?? and who oks them??
I am very disappointed in pakistani guys, where are they when such ridiculous demands are being made??
Go for it. It will be a big service to our country. Start with a website to get allegiance of people who should take an oath to not indulge in dowry and greed to become member of that free site.
You can post photos of couples who got married in a simple marriage ceremony at that site that will encourage others too.
Chanda, when you start recruiting for your NGO, count me in! I am sooooo fed up of these rasoom o riwaaj, which only seem to perpetuate and feed our society into being more materialistic. No wonder, people have to resort to all sorts of act to gather money for all this pomp and show. The worst part is that none is stilly happy. People always want more and more.
Well i know of several, who's parents are just fed up of their daughters copying other people's weddings..attitude that involves "she did this i must have it too...but bigger"
Well i know of several, who's parents are just fed up of their daughters copying other people's weddings..attitude that involves "she did this i must have it too...but bigger"
married or unmarried, pakistani or non pakistani.. every woman do that.....nothing new.
Go for it. It will be a big service to our country. Start with a website to get allegiance of people who should take an oath to not indulge in dowry and greed to become member of that free site.
You can post photos of couples who got married in a simple marriage ceremony at that site that will encourage others too.
Great idea!!! well....i was discussing this option of simple weddings...yet elegant and budget friendly to some local brides here in US...but the problem is that, desi brides wont conform! goris do...they find alternatives, because they are willing to...and I am helping them do so, without compromising the "look" of their weddings.
another thing!! why not have ONE day!!??
whats the point of inviting the same people 3-4-5-6-days!!??
when and where did the informal, intimate part disappear out of the weddings? there is no love, no respect, no gratitude...no shukaralhamdulilah!
A friend of mine was telling me just yesterday that even Mayoons nowadays have become a spectacle! with weird infused rasams..
Great idea!!! well....i was discussing this option of simple weddings...yet elegant and budget friendly to some local brides here in US...but the problem is that, desi brides wont conform! goris do...they find alternatives, because they are willing to...and I am helping them do so, without compromising the "look" of their weddings.
another thing!! why not have ONE day!!??
whats the point of inviting the same people 3-4-5-6-days!!??
when and where did the informal, intimate part disappear out of the weddings? there is no love, no respect, no gratitude...no shukaralhamdulilah!
A friend of mine was telling me just yesterday that even Mayoons nowadays have become a spectacle! with weird infused rasams..
I agree there should be like 5-6 days of over the top rasams/parties etc, but I think we should have 2 days, 1 for wedding & 1 for Walima. Correct my ignorance if I am wrong, but isn't the Walima farz for the announcement of the wedding from the guy's side? What should be done is a simple/elegant wedding/walima that doesn't waste money...etc.
*The guest list on the reception tends to be very comprehensive in our desi weddings.
and yeah..i meant the girl's side should only be required to "host" the nikah/rukhsati..just like it is supposed to (right?)
A cousin of mine had her nikah at home with her family in the morning. Rukhsati was at night the same day. Then walima hosted by the grooms parents. No giving away of cars and furniture....mehndi was an intimate affair with immediate family members and close friends (at home).
i heard from somewhere dont ask me where but they have baraat and walima both functions on the same one day.
dont know it works or not
this arrangement reminds me of weddings in the west.
They have their ceremony in the morning.
Reception the same day at night.
and the guest list is different for both events.
and both parties pay for each..or split the cost!
*The guest list on the reception tends to be very comprehensive in our desi weddings.
and yeah..i meant the girl's side should only be required to "host" the nikah/rukhsati..just like it is supposed to (right?)
A cousin of mine had her nikah at home with her family in the morning. Rukhsati was at night the same day. Then walima hosted by the grooms parents. No giving away of cars and furniture....mehndi was an intimate affair with immediate family members and close friends (at home).
This is how we have weddings in our family and how i would love to have mine!
But there is pressure from society in general to make it bigger and better and more flashy, so people dont see us as 'poor' even though we come from a well do to family.