Why do I find myself always cleaning and tidying up the mess of my husband and kids?
They just won’t put the things back in their place, except my eldest.
They won’t put their plates in the kitchen without me telling them.
They throw their clothes everywhere on the floor.
My husband gets annoyed if I tell him to put his rubbish right away into the bin (like ear buds) but next day I’ll find them under a sofa etc.
He has boxes full of clutter sitting in the living room and I’m not allowed to move them.
No one helps me washing dishes although my husband helps with cooking but creates a lot of mess in the process.
I feel I’m alone into this…now I have other responsibilities too like dropping or picking up my kid from school.
sigh! Am pretty much in the same boat as you hareem It’s like a perpetual clutter…and this habit cannot be changed. am not allowed to move a clutter of papers and weird things and not throw anything until my husband has gone through them ..and that never happens !
Although hubby helps a lot with looking after my little one and also cooking but the mess he makes lol
oh dear , I cant comment on the kids bit but certainly can on the husband bit
Are all the men like that? they, themselves, wont take any interest in cleaning but will throw a tantrum if you clear up their clutter .. shouldnt they be thankful that someone just cleaned the place .. I fume at this .. and always thought it was only my husband who did that .. but hey looks like they all act the same ..
I saw a few empty perfume packs lying around, thought they are taking up space for nothing so thew them, lo and behold , husband comes home, sees them in the bin, get them out and places them back
You are not alone. I am in the same boat. They clean up but they need constant reminders. If I not around to remind them, then it’s like tornado went through the house.
Ithink its upbringing. My hubby spent most of his time away from home since hewas really young due to studies. He lived with friends and is used to doinghousehold tasks. I have made sure that does not change. Helps out MashaAllah withmost house tasks
Onthe other hand, my sister’s hubby is useless when it comes to housework. My sisthinks that’s due to him spending all his time at home. His sisters and mumused to do everything for him. They think it’s not a man’s job to look afterthe house so that mentality has stayed with him.
It is very annoying when only one person is making the effort.
Opposite here, I am not a neat freak but am organized and like things that way, begum is quite the opposite. I don't mind doing dishes or cleanup etc, but dislike creation of clutter because things were not put in their place, coats on chairs, magazines on counters etc.
So now I just pick up the stuff put it in a clear bin and pass it on.
It's a concept of MP and YP that helps with these things. It goes like this. You can keep your closet or car as you like. It's YP, your problem. If any if the clutter starts bothering me then a YP is becoming an MP, ie my problem.
In order to restore it back to what it truly is; a YP, a bin of stuff placed gently in your closet or side of the bed works wonders. Take a day a week a month, as long as I don't have to deal with it, it's not an MP but a YP.
Really helped for us, that #1 source of disagreements for us, and maye the only real issue.
@ Hareem start training the kids first. They are young and will learn fast, the older they get the harder it becomes :)
The key to training is constant reminders!!Although one gets tired of reminding but dont give up!
The motivation should be that i dont want my 'bahu' to say that i dint train my lad at all :)
X2’s plan can work in normal situations .. I have tried that in my home and this is what i have found : stacks and stacks of bags lying in the corner of the room and the pile getting bigger with each passing month
Ultimately it comes down to me clearing that up too and then listen to the daant as well and the famous line "sub reciepts hila diye hai bi "
well.. two people living together with their own ideas of what is tolerable. if you want it to be frictionless, you have to agree on what is ok and what is not. if you are not ok with clutter building up, but wait till one day you are in a bad mood to bring it all up or do a flash cleanup without involving the other person, that will solve nothing.
It’s like a perpetual clutter…and this habit cannot be changed. am not allowed to move a clutter of papers and weird things and not throw anything until my husband has gone through them ..and that never happens !
