Some brains are equally too thick to understand living with inlaws is not fobidden in Quran or Hadiths for all the tantrums and resentement they throw in the name of Islam.
Everyone can pick and choose Imams to please their agenads, just like music is haram for my one particular cousin because the imam said so but for other one its not because a certain Imam said something different. Imams are not nabis for God sake. Some Imams also encourage/justify suicide bombings that too in the name of Islam...LOL So I no, I don't blindly worship Imams.
im wonder how much u put energy to clear me pakistani culture is very great & all r happy with it & tried to find my culture to point out it...u called me from mirpure-afghan-persian even somehow arab!
who ever i am its not matter cuz now here right now im in pakistani forum...i said joint system wasnt my headache as i never faced it in my own area & life-style...it came in my mind from when i joined here to know pakistan...
since im here i heared alot abt it...even one day i was sharing with my cousin that things never come to our mind in some other area of world its still issue & ppl think & compete for it...
i found some of pakistani cultures effected by hindus & some is islami...joint system is one of thoes where girl consider as son's family prperty,i know pakistanies never feel it or even i dont say its their mean but yet its effcted from hindu...where they give their girl with lots of prperties & then send her to husband's family...for me caring & respect will mean same as u would say that if girl's parents r same sad then groom would be ready to live with his in-laws...
anyway dont point out on me...here all r pakistanies & gave idea ...i dont know how is ur culture rather wat i read from desi's tongue...
atleast if u r agree with something dont think all rest against u r wrong...i said its ur life...other ppl have their own life...i opened here for thoes who thinks diffrent & yet want keep their marriage as well...wether husband forced wife or wife didnt accept to live...both r same & i didnt mean that women r less than men to be forced only as i felt here some husbands blame on wives
Living with them doesn't mean you have a super cosy relationship with them. I've seen people being more concious about keeping distance with na-mehrams at home than at work. The way I interact with my male collegaue or Uni freinds is not how I interact with my BIL, there's another degree of formality and mannerism that I adopt.
It's funny isn't it, we can be more open and friendly with colleauges/classmates and stuff...but not with BILs.
Some brains are equally too thick to understand living with inlaws is not fobidden in Quran or Hadiths for all the tantrums and resentement they throw in the name of Islam.
Everyone can pick and choose Imams to please their agenads, just like music is haram for my one particular cousin because the imam said so but for other one its not because a certain Imam said something different. Imams are not nabis for God sake. Some Imams also encourage/justify suicide bombings that too in the name of Islam...LOL So I no, I don't blindly worship Imams.
***EVERY* non-desi IMAM SAYS IT'S HARAM TO LIVE WITH BIL*, there is absolutely no difference of opinion as with the music (drums) issue, photographs or suicide bombers.. What about the hadith saying the *'BIL IS DEATH'**, are u going to pretend that doesn't exist as well lol or it's a 'difference of opinion'.. (and yes, I did say only outright forbidden to live with inlaws if BIL is there, in other cases it is preferable to live outside)
**Isn't is funny Jolie hasn't been able to back up ANY of his opinions with any quotes from ANY reputable scholars from their sites..
**Very convenient, isn't it that ur not looking it up online to confirm or deny what I've said..
from my own view...wat i heared & read here on GS...
i feel living in joint specialy if bro-inlwas & their wives r there its all like a playing ground that all try to won...
many issues happen...always someone is sad or feeling to be cheated...
even in case one bahoo with mom-inlaw....mostly one side is sad & complain & its not their problem...it all cuz they r from diffrent lifestyle & ages & need diffrent things in life!
ur mom is else cuz if u do wrong she will forgive & forget but mom-in law wont forget that easily & same u will forget ur mom's word after a day or sooner but is there anyone who will admit she never got sad from mom-in law?
its all will destroy respect...so i Think best is to live in joint if we dont have any other option if not let parent & wife live seprate happily & ur parents will be same sad as her parents r sad to depart their girl! nothing is more IRON in girl's parents that son's parents cant leave their sons!
***EVERY* non-desi IMAM SAYS IT'S HARAM TO LIVE WITH BIL*, there is absolutely no difference of opinion as with the music (drums) issue, photographs or suicide bombers.. What about the hadith saying the *'BIL IS DEATH'**, are u going to pretend that doesn't exist as well lol or it's a 'difference of opinion'.. (and yes, I did say only outright forbidden to live with inlaws if BIL is there, in other cases it is preferable to live outside)
Isn't is funny Jolie hasn't been able to back up ANY of his opinions with any quotes from ANY reputable scholars from their sites..
Very convenient, isn't it that ur not looking it up online to confirm or deny what I've said..
Do you see idiocy of your claims, you are only qouting non desi imams and saying there is there is absolutely no difference of opinion, when you yourself have admitted that desi scholars aren't against joint family system? There's got be some sort of difference of opinion behind two different verdits. And I'm going to be honest say I've never ever heard of that particular hadith, I think I'd choose consult an Imam (belonging to the school of thought I follow and trust) than search internet forums. My BIL lived with us, Imam of our local Mosque and its community knew about him, I don't think he declared any fatwa on his head. I've come across some super strickt practicing religious joint families where the women are living with BIL's, so I'm begining to doubt how credible that particular hadith is.
I don't have to look online to please you, you think I care? Its you who seemed to got its knickers in twist in the the process. Good for you.
Anyway if being caught naked in the middle of night is the thing that scars you from living with inlaws then what can I say? Are you saying all those people who end up in joint family system have cases of BIL catching his SIL naked? LOL Yeah I can make all sorts petty little idiotic reasons to say how wonderful it could be to live with your inlaws. You know there's something called being resposible, screw BIL I wouldn't dream of coming out naked from my own room even if my sisters are around.
im wonder how much u put energy to clear me pakistani culture is very great & all r happy with it & tried to find my culture to point out it...u called me from mirpure-afghan-persian even somehow arab!
who ever i am its not matter cuz now here right now im in pakistani forum...i said joint system wasnt my headache as i never faced it in my own area & life-style...it came in my mind from when i joined here to know pakistan...
since im here i heared alot abt it...even one day i was sharing with my cousin that things never come to our mind in some other area of world its still issue & ppl think & compete for it...
i found some of pakistani cultures effected by hindus & some is islami...joint system is one of thoes where girl consider as son's family prperty,i know pakistanies never feel it or even i dont say its their mean but yet its effcted from hindu...where they give their girl with lots of prperties & then send her to husband's family...for me caring & respect will mean same as u would say that if girl's parents r same sad then groom would be ready to live with his in-laws...
anyway dont point out on me...here all r pakistanies & gave idea ...i dont know how is ur culture rather wat i read from desi's tongue...
atleast if u r agree with something dont think all rest against u r wrong...i said its ur life...other ppl have their own life...i opened here for thoes who thinks diffrent & yet want keep their marriage as well...wether husband forced wife or wife didnt accept to live...both r same & i didnt mean that women r less than men to be forced only as i felt here some husbands blame on wives
Here comes another bigot throwing Hindu slurs. Ok, Pakistanis treat women as their property because of Hindus, but do you have anything to say for the treatment and status women recieve in all perfect and Islamic Arab world? Yes you are on the Pakistani forum where you have nothing better to do than just paint us as an extremely problamatic and inferior society against your nameless country. Like how on other thread you were boasting MIL in your nameless country have no right have a say in Bridal shoping but your Pakistani MIL done something so wrong by suggesting you to go for long kameez as they are in fashion.
You seemed to seriously ignorant and fixed opinions on the ways of Pakistani society, thats why I suggest little bit of of willingess at least learn and understand might help. Couple asking separate living in the West largely depends on the socio-economical set up of their respective countries, whereas living with inlaws back in Pakistan more often than not favours you based on socio-economical enviorement of that country.
my posts in other threads relate to that thread...dont mix things...where is my country & wats the name wont make diffrence for this thread!
also dont judge ppl easily as u dont know my mil...she is so loving i would say im not minding her ideas cuz i accepted her as she is...as a great lady whom i cant change her mind in this age to come & follow my culture but if she was from my own country she would know how to treat diffrent but now she is pakistani & i LOVE her & thats not related to other things...
i was taking these results cuz i knew hindu cultures as india is more famous than pakistan but i came to know abt pakistan since i got married & i would say this upon compares between hindu-culture & islamic culture ....some os according islam but some effcted from hindus... but for this special thread i meant same as i gave my idea :from my own view...wat i heared & read here on GS...
i feel living in joint specialy if bro-inlwas & their wives r there its all like a playing ground that all try to won...
many issues happen...always someone is sad or feeling to be cheated...
even in case one bahoo with mom-inlaw....mostly one side is sad & complain & its not their problem...it all cuz they r from diffrent lifestyle & ages & need diffrent things in life!
ur mom is else cuz if u do wrong she will forgive & forget but mom-in law wont forget that easily & same u will forget ur mom's word after a day or sooner but is there anyone who will admit she never got sad from mom-in law?
its all will destroy respect...so i Think best is to live in joint if we dont have any other option if not let parent & wife live seprate happily & ur parents will be same sad as her parents r sad to depart their girl! nothing is more IRON in girl's parents that son's parents cant leave their sons!