So I have always been tempted to try alcohol and plan to do so when going out for a friend’s birthday tomorrow night. A mutual friend is always telling me off about how its too much, it goes against our religion etc etc. I am not particularly religious (eat non-halal, don’t pray) and it bothers me when somebody starts lecturing me about it or passes judgmental comments especially when that person herself isn’t big on religion, is involved in a sexual relationship and does drugs. I have never judged her commented saying its wrong or how that makes her a terrible person because it is her life, her business. Would love some advice on how to deal with her in a polite manner as I hate confrontations. Cheers!
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Just remind her of her sexual relationships and drug habit. She will shut up after that. Since she doesn't hesitate in "confronting" you about your decisions....then confront back. She may squirm and respond with something lame, but I think it'll nip things in the bud.
But more seriously...and this is the part that you won't like as it may come across as "judging" to you....but the two of you are only diverting each others attention from one sin to another....and diversion doesn't decrease the gravity of the sin that was formerly being addressed. Jus sayin'. Cheers.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
This is latest trend.
Try to give more importance to “what” advise has been given instead of “who” is giving it
cheers …oh wo tu kal hai
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Just tell your friend the you'd rather be judged by Allah ta'aala on the day of judgement.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
People have certain limits of how much they want to cross the line against religion. Some people have never prayed in their life but won't eat haraam food, others will not drink during Ramadan even though they're not fasting. Alcohol is apparently hers. Ultimately it's your life and your liver and she can't do anything about it other than nag you.
Just remember to not do things because everyone is. My best friend now drinks because everyone in her office also drank. Smh. Brown folks trying to act gora is so not cute.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Instead of wasting ur time digging up irrelevant threads, you should be spending ur time wisely studying up on the rules for the WC mother of all competitions
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
So I have always been tempted to try alcohol and plan to do so when going out for a friend's birthday tomorrow night. A mutual friend is always telling me off about how its too much, it goes against our religion etc etc. I am not particularly religious (eat non-halal, don't pray) and it bothers me when somebody starts lecturing me about it or passes judgmental comments especially when that person herself isn't big on religion, is involved in a sexual relationship and does drugs. I have never judged her commented saying its wrong or how that makes her a terrible person because it is her life, her business. Would love some advice on how to deal with her in a polite manner as I hate confrontations. Cheers!
Just because she sins in different ways doesn't mean her advice is any less valid. After all she is only prohibiting you from doing what your Creator has already forbidden for you. The only reason it bothers you is because you're arrogant. In the end you know its wrong to do but if you choose to do it, its your choice. Have "fun" in this life cause Judgement isn't far for all of us. May Allah save us from these evils and the shayateen and may He mercifully guide us to His straight path and save us from the fire ofJahanam. Ameen.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
If you want to try alcohol then go do it. You wrote this mutual friend is "always" telling you how this is too much.....so you have discussed with this friend multiple times?! Why do you need to share this "plan" with anyone at all? Once you're out at the party simply order a drink and sip. No need to announce or discuss this with anyone. And since you did share it....the very first time this friend told you off......you should have learned at that moment never to bring up this topic with her again.
As for how to deal with her.....it's really simple. If you think she is judging you then stop being friends with her. Its not rocket science. Go find friends who are ok with you drinking.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
So I have always been tempted to try alcohol and plan to do so when going out for a friend's birthday tomorrow night. A mutual friend is always telling me off about how its too much, it goes against our religion etc etc. I am not particularly religious (eat non-halal, don't pray) and it bothers me when somebody starts lecturing me about it or passes judgmental comments especially when that person herself isn't big on religion, is involved in a sexual relationship and does drugs. I have never judged her commented saying its wrong or how that makes her a terrible person because it is her life, her business. Would love some advice on how to deal with her in a polite manner as I hate confrontations. Cheers!
First of all, one should be humbled by good advice. It shouldn't matter who is giving the advice, if we are able to appreciate good advice or reminders getting to us.
Second, I may have knowledge of something good and beneficial, but I might not have the strength, or commitment to benefit myself from it. Example, I might know what stocks are doing good and which ones to buy or sell, but I might not even be engaged in trading myself. But anyone who is, could benefit from my advice.
Thirdly, it is actually YOU who are judging the person as inept and incapable and unworthy of benefitting you with good knowledge or advice. You are too arrogant to take criticism or advice for your own benefit.
Finally, it is better to reject something in knowledge and understanding, than out of ignorance. So sometimes we need to try things out ourselves before REJECTING it.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
When you drink, make sure you have friends around looking out for you. Preferably friends who won't be drinking or at least don't plan on getting wasted. Plan all the logistics beforehand. How much are you going to drink? If you're going to need a ride home or not. A disapproving friend should be the least of your worries right now, since you've already made your decision.
Please drink responsibly. Both for your and other people's sake.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Because it's fun.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
^No!!! It's because all the other cool kids are doin' it.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
So I have always been tempted to try alcohol and plan to do so when going out for a friend's birthday tomorrow night. A mutual friend is always telling me off about how its too much, it goes against our religion etc etc. I am not particularly religious (eat non-halal, don't pray) and it bothers me when somebody starts lecturing me about it or passes judgmental comments especially when that person herself isn't big on religion, is involved in a sexual relationship and does drugs. I have never judged her commented saying its wrong or how that makes her a terrible person because it is her life, her business. Would love some advice on how to deal with her in a polite manner as I hate confrontations. Cheers!
There is nothing bad in trying something new.Habits, Decisions, Likes, Mentality changes with the passage of time.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Randomly sharing petty issues here won't help you in anyway. It's your life do whatever you want to do!
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
So did you drink? how was it? tell me tell me
saqi nai kuch mila na deya ho jaam main
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Mujhe bhi batao? Kia khas baat hay sharab me jo log aisay diwanay hue jate hain is key liye.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
I never understood the attitude of people who think drinking alcohol or committing zina etc. is a way of rebellion and you are being an individual by doing it. NOPE, you are just molding yourself into byproduct of the what's "in" determined by a few. Think about it, partying, drinking, intimate relationships before marriage, cheating, etc. are VERY common and are portrayed everywhere through media all over the world. So who is rebelling and is strong enough to go against the masses? Oh well, back to your topic, just because she is sinning different from you, it doesn't mean what she is saying automatically becomes invalid. At the end of the day though, it's your choice.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
I never understood the attitude of people who think drinking alcohol or committing zina etc. is a way of rebellion and you are being an individual by doing it. NOPE, you are just molding yourself into byproduct of the what's "in" determined by a few. Think about it, partying, drinking, intimate relationships before marriage, cheating, etc. are VERY common and are portrayed everywhere through media all over the world. So who is rebelling and is strong enough to go against the masses? Oh well, back to your topic, just because she is sinning different from you, it doesn't mean what she is saying automatically becomes invalid. At the end of the day though, it's your choice.
Like they say: "You are unique, like everybody else". Conforming is not rebelling.
Re: Why is it so easy for people to tell others off?
Surely you meant Sake