A mother ruling her household doesn’t mean maintaining control over an adult son once he is married. Mother can rule her own house, and the son and his wife can decide what rules will be applied in their own house. I guess where you have a live in system with your in laws this can be problematic, because every woman wants to make a house her own.
It shouldn’t be a case of who rules who or who has more rights than the other. It’s the mans job to make sure that his wife and his mother are both treated within the boundaries of the relationship he holds with them. There is enough love for everyone without the need for one to feel like he favours her over the other.