This is typical emotional blackmailing of kids, holding them back and depriving them of becoming total individuals. This ingrained mentality that your children owe you to take care of you is exactly the reason why they won’t do it, they will resent you but you are too deluded to see this.
The only reason guys and their mommies go back to Pakistan is because the MIL cannot stand an independent women, she needs a slave to obey her every whim. The problem stems from the fact that the MIL is not inherently evil but a weak, dysfunctional woman herself who has pretty much done whatever has been told to her during her own lifetime, obey the parents, then obey the husband - the MIL in later stages of her miserable life feels compelled to control their sons as to justify to themselves that all those years of misery were actually right. The worse thing about this that is the cycle continues with sons who are really not men, they are timid, afraid little monkeys who do not know their left from right.
Someone said : “Mommy knows best” - good luck with that.
Desi’s for the most part are highly dysfunctional group where the abnormal is the normal, codependency is seen as something to be cherished often justified in the name of familial ties. Girls are not any better, most will say yes to any chap that offers to marry them as long they can get out of the country. Others are just doormats or choose to be that way simply because it is easier to do so, while still others are drama queens and usually spend their entire lifetime going from one set of feelings to another, this often serves no practical purpose.
As long as this mentality continues the “goris” will steal all the good desi guys, and the desi girls will lement it. This is said in all sincerity not out of spite. I am a pakistani guy living in Canada, long ago I left my desi baggage behind (circumstances I will never reveal on a forum), it’s just not worth it, life is too short for codependency, arranged marriages and supposed familial obligations.
