Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
this happens when you get too much involved then you start expecting things out of the blue and especially if you are free then you want more and more attention.
engage yourself in some activities.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Mine does none of the above...he's not a big talker, doesn't buy me expensive things, doesn't say I Love You's, doesn't take me to fancy restaurants, won't write me any cute notes, cards, flowers for every occasion, etc etc etc. And I jussstttttt got married.
If I was like you, I'd have noticed this and cried by now I think. But I notice other things...He has never proclaimed undying devotion or janam janam ka saat. I know he won't and I don't care.
If you know he loves you, don't be foolish and drive him away. Keep making your own loving gestures towards him, in fact make them better and better every year. Eventually he will catch on and reciprocate. Some men change but it takes time and effort...time meaning it can take yearssss.
Re: Why Doesn’t My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
If one person SAYS I Love You but the other fills your gas tank up in the morning realizing you won't have a minute to spare...it doesn't count as love because he didn't say it?
So, its his job to look after us but not our job to just try and understand him a little?
That's actually quite mean.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Strange when men complain that their wives are not romantic everyone jumps on the wife's case. And no one cares if she says but I take extra care if your family all day and don't answer back to your mom. People will say no, that's separate , you should make an effort which doesn't even involve much. Unfortunately, this is something our society lacks, we still live in the Victorian age where everything needs to be austere and anything fun and lively is frowned upon. Be practical is all we hear. Material things are coveted and anything else is seen as frivolous.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Good that you don't covet these things but everyone as you say is different. What the OP wants is not wrong at all. For many people, both men and women it's a deal breaker.
Mine does none of the above...he's not a big talker, doesn't buy me
things, doesn't say I Love You's, doesn't take me to fancy restaurants, won't write me any cute notes, cards, flowers for every occasion, etc etc etc. And I jussstttttt got married.
If I was like you, I'd have noticed this and cried by now I think. But I notice other things...He has never proclaimed undying devotion or janam janam ka saat. I know he won't and I don't care.
If you know he loves you, don't be foolish and drive him away. Keep making your own loving gestures towards him, in fact make them better and better every year. Eventually he will catch on and reciprocate. Some men change but it takes time and effort...time meaning it can take yearssss.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Yet, during the engagement period, all men show their "movie" side meaning that they are well capable of being romantic. They say they will be like this forever and women believe them.
To you, maybe it's not romantic. But a lot of husbands are exhausted
after a work week in addition to helping out with kids/home with wives. It's not the act of taking care of the kids...it's the fact that he considers you before everything else. Even though he's tired and prob cranky and hungry...he isn't saying it...but he still thinks of you first...that's romantic, IMO.
A lot of the things ppl have posted are not conventional romance...bcos again, movies are not real life. Men show their affection differently.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Strange when men complain that their wives are not romantic everyone jumps on the wife's case. And no one cares if she says but I take extra care if your family all day and don't answer back to your mom. People will say no, that's separate , you should make an effort which doesn't even involve much.
Not true. If a guy was fixating on the fact that his wife isn't romantic to the point of imagining leaving her over it, I would find it equally juvenile. While I agree that it is not wrong to want a little romantic gesture every now and then, fantasising about leaving your husband because he is not "hollywood" romantic is a bit much and, in my opinion, a bit immature.
Yet, during the engagement period, all men show their "movie" side meaning that they are well capable of being romantic. They say they will be like this forever and women believe them.
Rather like women who pretend to be perfect domestic goddesses during the engagement period only to whinge about being too tired and overworked to even get the guy a glass of water the minute the guy puts a ring on it? :D
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
What if the woman still sticks towards doing all the work and the man doesn't?
QUOTE=Mezhgan;9964197]Not true. If a guy was fixating on the fact that his wife isn't romantic to the point of imagining leaving her over it, I would find it equally juvenile. While I agree that it is not wrong to want a little romantic gesture every now and then, fantasising about leaving your husband because he is not "hollywood" romantic is a bit much and, in my opinion, a bit immature.
Rather like women who pretend to be perfect domestic goddesses during the engagement period only to whinge about being too tired and overworked to even get the guy a glass of water the minute the guy puts a ring on it? :D
[/QUOTE]
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
You are just like any other girl No different. But also, he is just like any other man no different (exceptions in both apply)
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
There is an advertisement on an aussie tv where a man and woman around 90 are sitting on their nursing home beds and woman says 'You dont love me anymore, Do you?" The old man's reply was "I told you 60 years ago that I love you, I will let you know if there is a change in this"
Nature cant be changed.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
also tell him u like flowers and all those things.
It's ridiculous to expect someone to go against their nature completely just to please you...sorry but there's got to be a point at which you grow up and realize that actions speak louder than words.
Flowers are not the only way love is defined...there are a ton of ways to express yourself.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
^ i agree with Reha on this :D I have known my husband 9 years and Alhumdulilah married for almost 4. At one point i realized that he isn't the type who would surprise me with flowers, say all those romantic things, plan a date etc...and i looked at the bigger picture. I am happy, he respects me and my family, helps around when i need, is there for me when i need him, we are great together what difference does it make that he doesn't get me flowers.
Why don't you plan things for the both of you? Stop expecting and realize that this is what you have and its not going to change.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
Good that you don't covet these things but everyone as you say is different. What the OP wants is not wrong at all. For many people, both men and women it's a deal breaker.
That's the thing though eastern...everyone is different...and that includes husbands. Trust me, I love the romantic stuff...its not like I don't. But I've realized after a while that understanding someone's love is better than making them love you your way. If you can try to see what they ARE doing versus what they are NOT, your perspective changes completely.
Re: Why Doesn't My Husband Make Efforts to be Romantic??
I remember someone being very romantic to his wife and doing quite of few of those things which you mentioned. And his wife was quite happy there, but then he had some others on the side. His idea was to keep wife happy this way and she wont normally bother u for quite a few things and her eyes wont see some small mistakes u make while trying to keep big secrets. Every one was happy :)