Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
those of u who had to sit still nd just look down at the floor, weren't u feeling dizzy after a while!? :P
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
I did the half sharmeli - half looking up. I walked in with head down - but I wish I looked up.
I wasn't chatting up a storm or anything on stage but I didn't look down either.
You know paki fairy - you can NEVER make the aunties happy. it's an oxymoron. Do what you want
It really varies from family to family. On my engagement I was told to sit still and look down from my side of the family which I did. During the enagement my fiance's sisters asked me to look up and smile. They thought I looked very tensed so they kept trying to talk to me to cheer me up. And after the enagement was done. Everyone from their side asked me why i looked down with no smile on my face. I was happy because of their behaviour cuz I was never in favor of a bride looking down and not smiling and staying still. So now I know at my wedding I can be myself and act normal. As long as the close family is okay with it. I dont care about what others meaning "aunties" say. No bride should.
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
i smiled n talked a bit but i also looked down
not that i was shy
becuz i dont see why u would be .....probably aunties thought i was besharam
but mostly ppl talked bout how i ate food
i guess brides r not allowed to eat even if ppl stuff ur plate with food n tell u eat
u have to have "sharam" n not eat it n just throw it out ?????
go figure paki mentality sumtimes i think there crazzzzy
im gonna smile in my wedding pictures cuz i look groos wen i dont smile hahah
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
Im not the type to just sit there so even if I plan on being sharmeeli and all...it aint gonna work!
I like to laugh and talk. On my engagement, I was smiling from ear to ear...no sharam at all and I felt bad about it later. But then again, its my engagement! I can jump up and down if I want!
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
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I can understand though why in older days or in some situations now women are all static and look scared, I mean you are going to be spending the night with a strange man when you've probably never spent an hour alone with a na-mehram your whole life! and the brides were younger so I am sure they were naturally scared.
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Ya totally. I find it soo awkward when the bride sits there with her head down and eyes glued to the floor, not smiling or talking. I mean to each their own, do what you want on your wedding, but to me it doesnt look all modest and demure, but just looks so fake and forced. I mean its your wedding, not your funeral, if the aunties wont let you smile, laugh and enjoy yourself on that day, then when will they finally let you??? I know in the olden days thats how the tradition was, but it doesnt really make sense for today. In the past most girls married guys they never even had met before, they probably moved far away from their families and maybe they were even worried that what if their husbands turned out to be weirdos! So makes sense that those brides didnt really feel like smiling and celebrating! But why would anyone want to control a bride's happiness, this is a beautiful and blessed day for her, if she wants to smile and laugh and look up and down, then you dont have the right to stop her!!
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
I want to hear from an aunty who forces a "bride" to look like she's at her own funeral and hear what they have to say.
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
before my wedding i spoke to my mom,dadi and chachis and i wa slike 'i hope ur not expecting me to lower my gaze during the wedding and mehndi cuz u know i wont be doing that' and they knew that and didnt even want me to do that and just said, 'u can do ewhatever u like just dont yell, scream or laugh extremely loudly like its a comedy night' haha.
on the mayon and mehndi was dancing with almost all my relatives and afterwards my chacha started joking with me and said 'are u sure ur the bride? theres no one here dancing more than u r.' and i was like 'welll i am the bride, would u expect anyone else to dance more than me?'
anyone thats squirming right now, haha and u know ur out there, on the day of the wedding i was more modest and that was most likely cuz the wedding dress was probably just as heavy as i was and i couldnt move so i just sat on the stage but i spoke to everyone that came up to take pics with us.
in the end its ur own wedding! ive heard about girls that almost fell asleep looking down, didnt know what was going on, even my chachi told me that she wishes she was looking up and being talking to people rather than keeping her mouth closed and gazing down. its ur own wedding you MUST enjoy it the way you want to!
and ive not heard of one aunty, uncle or anyone that said about me looking up, smiling, laughing, talking, joking, dancing.
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
I laughed, talked, danced, kissed my husband and loved my wedding yay
in the end its ur own wedding! ive heard about girls that almost fell asleep looking down, didnt know what was going on, even my chachi told me that she wishes she was looking up and being talking to people rather than keeping her mouth closed and gazing down. its ur own wedding you MUST enjoy it the way you want to!
^ really...thats crazy.
i hope i will be able to act normal, i really want to dance and everything at my mehndi n valima...but lets c what happens, i knw i will dancing at all my dholkis :O
You know, fortunately, my mom is kind of a person who doesn't appreciate a bride who sits like a plastic doll with her gaze glued to the floor ( even when she wasn't much different from that or perhaps specially because of that fact :)) and has told me that she doesn't want me to act all "sharmeeli ghabreely" as she puts it :-)...
Ironically, I happen to be a person who isn't very much chatty specially when I'm being the center of attention..Makes me nervous to no end..
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
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Ironically, I happen to be a person who isn't very much chatty specially when I'm being the center of attention..Makes me nervous to no end..
Simple, just be yourself... even fi that is being sharmeeli and quiet and the type to look down. :)
Ironically, I happen to be a person who isn't very much chatty specially when I'm being the center of attention..Makes me nervous to no end..
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^ that's soo mee
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
Ah kia yaad diladia. At my rukhsati i was very quiet and not chatty at all. Didnt move from the stage except for dinner and rukhsati. I was talking a bit to whoever came up but i was very "shy". And i was truly bored.
The next day for valima, my husband and i, only went to the stage to take pics for a little bit. The rest of the time, we were walking around, mingling with the guests etc. And i had so much fun that way. Ofcourse my cousins who didnt come to the wedding and saw the video thought it was hilarious that i wasnt acting at all like the bride. Now if i were in Pak, iwould probably have had to repeat the first day's events.
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
hahhah sweet question. well i wasnt so sharmili either at my engagement nor at my nikah. sab daant rahe te ke chup ho kar betho hahahha depends on the charakter
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
My chachi was sitting on her wedding like that...and my mum forced her to speak up and move about...even i don't understand why girls who are so cheerful normally all of a sudden start acting like that...the girls i know weren't shy at all but they just thought its a bride thing so its necessary to do that :S
Pakifairy you don't have to sit there quietly. Not many ppl do that anymore. Enjoy your wedding and just be yourself.
On my mehndi I had been talking to my friends and cousins and walking around before the larrkay walay had showed up and this aunty told me dulhan batain nahi karti aur ghoomti phirti nahi hai. :D
Which retarded aunty told you that?
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
Most of the times its not sumthing decided before time by the bride.
Im not shy n im so talkative tht my makeup artist had to aske me so many times to be quiet during my makeover. But when i made enterance to the hall i just became so confused only bcz everyone was looking at me n noticing me it was too much for me. But then i did talk but slowly n remained nervoued till my husband came n sat wid me.
Re: Why does the bride have to sit like an inanimate frozen statue
I was instructed by my Naani and mom that when I get married that I have to be smiling and talking and NOT doing the traditional thing of being demure. I quite like that. I think where it's an arranged marriage it can be sweet where the bride is somewhat quiet (no head down) but serene. Whereas how do the love marriage girls act so demure? I don't like it when people act. In pakistan I know that the girl is berated for looking up and talking and it's sad but that's the culture for the majority out there. I know that the upper classes in Lahore/Karachi are open minded about such things though.